I quit. I've had enough

[Mississippilessly]

Nearly 7 month old baby - sleep is getting progressively worse, not better. Pretty velcro during the day. I don't really get anything done. Has stopped feeding from my right. Cant pump to try and boost the supply because I just dont have the time. I look ridiculous. Spend most of my life bouncing on a fucking yoga ball in the dark.
Bored of people suggesting I have PND. I haven't had a full nights sleep in 7 months. I spend most of my time with a baby attached to me.
I'm not eating gluten or egg as he has suspected intolerances but I have got differing opinions from different paediatricians.

I'm done. I've had enough. No fucking way will we ever give him a sibling. What the fuck is the point of my life right now?

Sorry. As you were.

Don't be too disheartened, bottle refusing is a tale as old as bottles. They usually crack in the end.

My cousin described it as "3 days of hell". But on the 3rd day, he drank!

God I remember well the whole what size teat thing. And researching doidy cups endlessly. Brings me right back.

Just another 'i've been there' comment. My DD was a terrible sleeper and breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've ever done. For the sake of my sanity we tried a bottle at six months.....which she refused. We bought umpteen bottles and teats, and she wouldn't have any if it. Or a dummy. After weeks and weeks of getting nowhere I gave in and just carried on feeding her until she turned one. Then she just decided she wanted to stop, and she slept. I've no idea why, in the fog of utter exhaustion and being on the brink of despair I had no idea what was going on. But then it was over.

You will get there.

DD is now 5 and (mostly) a complete angel. But she won't be having a sibling. No way I'm volunteering for that again.

So I put him to bed. He was calm to start with but got more agitated, squirming around. I picked him up and he instantly fell asleep so I'm back to my conundrum.- is that reflux and he was just more comfortable in my arms or does he just like cuddles?!

In sorry to sound like a broken record. I'm hugely grateful for being able to talk on this thread. The problem is if there is actually nothing wrong with him then we carry on trying to get him to take a bottle, i can eat what I like and we get the sleeptrainer in. Great. If there is something wrong with him I need to get meds and either put him on hydrolyzed formula or follow a very strict diet. And if that is the case then wrongly following number one will make things worse. But following number 2 wrongly will delay things getting any better and will add unncessary stress.
I just cant see how I'm going to conclusively eliminate anything.

This is all exacerbated by the fact we are going on holiday next week - it would be so nice to he able to relax!

RD mummy thank you for sharing - they are buggers arent they!
When you say waking up, can you tell me what she was doing?

I wouldn’t sleep train yet.
Get the ranitidine and do some good old fashioned winding if he’s squirmy.
Swaddle? Prop cot up?
Do you have one of those motorised rocking swing chairs for him? If not try one. Godsend.

May just be that he likes cuddles. If you can keep him asleep by cuddling then do it. The more they get used to staying asleep the better they sleep full stop ime

She would get upset. Some nights she would cry for hours, some nights I would feed her and she would just go back to sleep (until she woke up to be fed again). There was no pattern with it, which was the really frustrating part. Nothing made sense. She also wasn't a great sleeper in the day and had to be moving in the pram to sleep. I did ask the GP for help (for both of us) but didn't get anywhere, they seemed to think that I just wanted prescriptions for free milk - absolutely not what I was after. I should have persevered and gone back but I didn't, I just thought it was me and I was no good at being a mum . Took me a long time to get over that. Please go back and ask again if you need to. With hindsight, as far as I know, there was nothing wrong with DD. But at the time I couldn't have told you what was going on.

Now screaming the house down.

Don't know what to suggest, at this point. Poor you. Can you just hand him over to DH and go for a walk, for the quiet and some fresh air? Refresh yourself briefly?

We didn't have anywhere near such extreme issues, but when DS was 9mo he got very ill- just a bad virus- and I didn't sleep for about 3 days. By the end, I was so tired that I just couldn't get up to get him (DH had been away throughout) and after a bit of yelling, DS dropped off again. It won't do a baby any harm to lie down in a safe place and cry whilst parents regather their energy. You can do this OP.

I have one of those downstairs. I've never heard anything like it. This baby doesn't cry, it SCREAMS. I'm not getting any sleep because of it either! And if it's not the baby screaming, it's the mother shouting. I just get up and plug my headphones in, as sleep is not something I'm going to achieve with the devil child under me. Fucking sick of it now. My blooming mental health has suffered as a result of this child.

Bring the child to the doctor. Is it screaming or crying? The one downstairs is screaming while I'm upstairs also screamin

If you go to the doctor you need to differentiate between whinging and SCREAMING. I'm surprised by little tiny neighbour still has a throat TBH!

It sounds like there's something wrong with him. Have you been to the GP with him?
Honestly, I'm sorry I don't have more patience but I live above a screamer and I just want to shout at them - THERE'S SOMETHING FUCKING WRONG WITH THE CHILD - BRING IT TO THE DOCTOR FFS!!

But instead I listen to music.

Well I will say that special formula won't do any harm, my lad really was very healthy on it. It was great nutritionally. He shot up.

To differentiate between crying, is your child always crying at the level they cry at when they're given their jabs for e.g.? Only time I heard my child scream, but by Christ did she scream. Like she was being murdered. Well the child downstairs is doing the exact same thing. ALL DAY FUCKING LONG. It's fucking horrendous to listen to as a neighbour. It's not as if the child is being left either, the screaming just starts at Alto level. I haven't fucking slept as long as that child is there. Which is about 8 weeks. I don't think they're the kind to go to doctor or engage with help either, they seem very insular. Meanwhile I suffer. And the idiot upstairs loves slamming doors. I need a fucking break.

I remember reaching the end of my tether one day, putting DD1 in the cot mid scream, shutting the door and walking downstairs sobbing. I just couldn't take any more.

After about five minutes screaming, she stopped and fell asleep. It wasn't for long but it was enough to let me calm down.

Putting her in the cot and walking away never worked again but it's a good job it did that day.

I'm sure it's awful living above it and it probably was for our neighbours but I don't think that can in any way compare with the emotions you experience when your own child in inconsolable and you are on your knees with sleep deprivation.

I wish I could make a helpful suggestion, OP.

If you view formula negatively, you're not going to give it a fair shot. You need to sit your arse down, plug in headphones, ignore the baby and write down the pros and cons of breastfeeding. The baby isn't getting any sleep, the baby is screaming in pain, you're not getting any sleep, you're about to go insane - can you think logically - OK, formula might work better? They may still have reflux shit, but once they're taking a bottle, they will sleep longer. You can also regulate shit more. I religiously gave dd Infacol, as if I didn't, she was in pain. But you have to be religious about it. As if your life depended on it. Miss a dose before a feed, and off you go again.

Op you do need to persevere with a bottle if that’s what you want to do, of course he wouldn’t take it - he wants breast.
You have to decide your new routine.
So if you want to breast feed throughout the day with weaning that’s a great idea, then from 4pm no more breast- offer bottle /get dh to offer bottle and do not give in. It will be very very difficult. But not forever - just a couple of days until he gets used to it.
Same with the sleep - he needs to learn to settle himself, how long do you leave him before picking him up and he then settles in your arms?
I wonder if co- sleeping is not helping him, if he’s a light sleeper does he wake when you move/turn over/dh moves or turns over? Snores? Then he’s learnt to settle by feeding.
It’s a viscous cycle. Maybe you need a whole new re-think.
But I also wanted to say you are doing amazingly well.
Good luck tonight - and tomorrow night........

This is tough.

Do you have a carrier? It was a god send for my refluxy intolerant baby. It allowed me to rock him but secured him so he couldn't wriggle.

I cut every thing it was hard but it made me appreciate food. I just thought if it was me that was allergic I'd have no choice so I was happy to do it for my child.

Also baby massage with a good sleep aromatherapy oil is great integrated into your routine.

Whatad I am not directly his is the thread to vent your frustration with your neighbour really.

OP - I hear you. I had a baby that had to be cuddled to sleep (most nights it would take 4 hours for him to go to sleep), only to wake when put down (fitted with an over-sensitive "tilt switch"...)

Also had colic - only thing (we think) helped was colief drops but wasn't a miracle cure by any means.

Also had a baby with awful reflux - we had domperidone, renitidine, omaprazole - plus CMPA - who refused neocate because it tasted bad.

It's really hard. With taking a bottle it sometimes takes a few days to convince them so please keep going. I wish I had the magic answer for you, but know you're not alone.

My friend was like this (our dc are now 6) but it turned out her lo was just hungry all the time. He had her up constantly in the night. Once she started weaning & also gave formula he became a really contented baby & is now a lovely happy healthy boy. She weaned before 6 months in the end & was totally the right thing for him. I think you lo is older anyway. Take care of you too. You need your sleep to be able to function. Hope things improve op

Whatad so unhelpful, why did you feel the need to write 3 comments stating the exact same message which is irrelevant to the thread. If you want to talk about your neighbour, start a thread or go actually talk to the bloody woman. Don't hijack a thread about a frustrated mother looking for advice to repeat your own problems over and over.

Just wanted to give you a message. You are doing much better than you think you are I promise you. You're sleep deprived and it is hell! Your baby will sleep. Just give up on trying to do things around the house. You will be ok. 7 months is tiny. Much love to you strong mama and don't be hard on yourself.

Thanks all.
He gave me 3.5 hrs in a row and then started the straining and the writhing again.

Where is the manual?!

If its straining it sounds lower GI to me. At least you got some sleep.