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Original poster

I quit. I've had enough

323 replies

Mississippilessly · 05/04/2019 20:26

Nearly 7 month old baby - sleep is getting progressively worse, not better. Pretty velcro during the day. I don't really get anything done. Has stopped feeding from my right. Cant pump to try and boost the supply because I just dont have the time. I look ridiculous. Spend most of my life bouncing on a fucking yoga ball in the dark.
Bored of people suggesting I have PND. I haven't had a full nights sleep in 7 months. I spend most of my time with a baby attached to me.
I'm not eating gluten or egg as he has suspected intolerances but I have got differing opinions from different paediatricians.

I'm done. I've had enough. No fucking way will we ever give him a sibling. What the fuck is the point of my life right now?

Sorry. As you were.

OP posts:
LaPopie · 05/04/2019 20:57

I was you OP. Went to my GP thinking I had PND. DS who was 5 told GP the baby was waking hourly to bf. GP liked at me and said 'you're not depressed you're f*ing knackered'. He prescribed pheregan for baby to give me a three hour window of sleep early on in night, reommended Ferber and nightweaning. Was a week of Hell then he cracked it and I felt like a new person. The baby was 2 btw and we used the phenergan twice before I get roasted.

So yes, totally possible that being knackered can make you seem depressed/anxious.

Chocolate35 · 05/04/2019 20:58

You haven’t done anything wrong. We’ve all been there. Functioning on no sleep is hard. Breastfeeding is great but it’s bloody exhausting and no one can take the pressure off. Expressing is shit and long. Give him a bottle. Do you have friends or family who could help? Someone you trust who could take the baby out so you can get a few hours sleep.
It does get easier, it doesn’t feel like it but it really does. You’ll find what works for you in time and baby will sleep more and more.

ElloBrian · 05/04/2019 20:58

Hang in there OP. Get the bottle going. Get your P to take a night shift - one of you do the early shift and one do the late shift. It’s brutal I’m afraid. Keep posting. There is so much support here for you. Flowers

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ElloBrian · 05/04/2019 20:59

And YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG ! Don’t turn this in onto yourself. It’s the hardest thing anyone can ever do. You’re doing great. Keep going.

LaPopie · 05/04/2019 21:00

We were co-sleeping too (has taken side off cot and pushed it up to our bed). I started stopping feeding him to sleep and also making sure he was in his cot rather than our bed. Also managed to move cot away from our bed and put the side back on and then move cot into his own room.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 05/04/2019 21:02

Right. We are buying formula tomorrow. Dh is taking him for the night - will bring him to me for feeds. He wants me to out ear plugs in - not sure I can do that.

OP posts:
managedmis · 05/04/2019 21:02

Formula, tout suite.

I know a woman at the end of her tether with it all and you're there

mrscloppity · 05/04/2019 21:03

Oh, OP. I feel you! I have a very demanding baby (well, now 16 months old) and it.is.hard.
I breastfed my other two until they were over 2, with this one, at 6 months I persevered with formula and did controlled crying out of pure desperation. I used to go to bed when he did just to get some rest because exhaustion is horrific.
The bottle and the sleep routine helped me regain a bit of sanity and patience. He's still a clingy sod, but I am slowly less tired.
Things will get better, be kind to yourself.

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 05/04/2019 21:06

He used to go to sleep in his cot and stay asleep for about 3 hrs before the night fun began. He doesn't even do that anymore.

Thank you so so much for posting. Its keeping me sane reading that other people have been here.

OP posts:
Iamthecaptainnow · 05/04/2019 21:10

Other thoughts:

  • could he be teething? Is he in pain?
  • is he warm enough? Could a grobag help him feel more secure, for example?
  • is there a noise disturbance? Could you try a white noise machine or app or similar?

Not that it helped much when I was struggling- but this too shall pass!

droningtraffic · 05/04/2019 21:10

Could he be teething?

droningtraffic · 05/04/2019 21:11

Could he be teething?

theheatherjane1 · 05/04/2019 21:12

Oh, it's so shit to start with, you have my full sympathy.
Mine was the same. We're now a year later and life is much more bearable.

Introduce bottles and keep trying him in the cot because one amazing day, when you're not expecting it, that little bugger will deign to sleep in it!

Hang in there.

droningtraffic · 05/04/2019 21:12

Also, will he take a dummy? Saved my sanity

theheatherjane1 · 05/04/2019 21:13

Oh, and we hired a sleep specialist at six months when I was about to jump off the roof.
Changed our lives

Heatherjayne1972 · 05/04/2019 21:14

It’s not until you have a baby that you understand why sleep deprivation is used as a torture method
It’s hell. It really is
I’m Another one who’s been there op
You are doing fantastic. You really are You haven’t done anything ‘wrong’ You're doing everything you can to get through this stage - I second the formula/ weaning advice tho

I know it sounds trite but it does get better

mrscloppity · 05/04/2019 21:15

Also, make sure you do something nice for yourself - even if it's a bubble bath, a book, your hair, whatever.
Demanding babies are SO hard - it definitely helps if you feel better about yourself. Wine

coffeeaddiction · 05/04/2019 21:16

Been in the same position sleep wise and all I can say is that it will get better at some point .
For us it was at 11 months he suddenly decided to sleep ,there was no reason for the change apart from being more active in the day as he was walking .
Hopefully it will get better very soon !

Original poster
Mississippilessly · 05/04/2019 21:16

He has a dummy. Might be teething tho I'm not convinced
Def warm enough
Has white bastard noise.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mississippilessly · 05/04/2019 21:17

You're all bloody lovely.

Weve enlisted a sleep consultant. I'm not prepared to do CIO but hopefully it wont be another 200 quid down the drain...

OP posts:
OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 05/04/2019 21:20

I'm another one who has been there.

She's now a lovely 19 year old who is sitting next to me watching Have I Got News For You Smile

Yes it's awful whilst you're going through it but it will get better. I even went on to do it again (albeit with a 4 year gap!)

On Friday and Saturday nights, when DP didn't have to get up for work the next day, he would have DD in the same room as him and I would sleep in the spare room. DP would just bring her in when she needed a feed and then take her away again to wind and settle her. God, I lived for those nights!

BoobiesToTheRescue · 05/04/2019 21:20

The forumla isn't a 'fix all' so don't be surprised if it ends in tears. It takes a while.

How long has he been preferring one side for? I'm sure you have already considered ear ache, infection or blockage in that ear? Hense not wanting to lay and feed from that side?

Not having a full nights sleep in 7 months is quite reasonable, expected in fact.
But how often is the waking? If it's very 2 hours then there might be an issue. If it's every 15 minutes there absolutely is an issue and if it's only twice a night then there probably isn't.

Missnearlyvintage · 05/04/2019 21:20

Oh you sound worn out!

Definitely time for your DH to step in so I'm glad that he is doing. If you are feeling depressed then it might be time to see your GP or your local healthy families co-ordinator, (ours aren't called HV anymore?)

You will feel miles better after a little bit of time to yourself.

What time do you get up in the mornings and what time do you go to bed? For a long time when my DS was little I used to go to bed with him, (he co-slept and was hyper aware of me being with him even when fast asleep, so I couldn't do more than go to the loo without him waking up), and then to make up for the night wake ups we would both sleep in in the mornings. We used to sleep 1am - 10am I think with feeds in between that. I wouldn't have coped at all if we'd been going to bed at 1am and I'd been trying to get up at 7am etc. Is that something you could do if you don't have any early morning commitments? Having naps while they nap as well is a good way of getting a rest in, though it can feel defeatist if that's when you have most of your alone time. With DD I couldn't do that as DS was already in nursery, but I would recommend it to anyone struggling to get enough sleep!

Breastfeeding wise can you get some help from your local healthy families team or your local children's centre might have a breastfeeding clinic? There is nothing wrong with getting some formula in so you can have a break as others have said.

Hugs and leave the vast majority of the housework for now if it isn't urgent!

GivemeGinandTonic · 05/04/2019 21:20

Stop being so hard on yourself, you’ve done bloody fantastic doing soong breastfeeding!
Well being of you and baby priority moving forward and sounds like formula mag end up giving you both a great nights sleep!
It’s not surprising you’re exhausted !!
You’ll stand a much better chance of enjoying your time as a mother if you’re getting at least some rest or breaks.

droningtraffic · 05/04/2019 21:21

I'd give a dose of calbrophen anyway- just in case he is teething

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