Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I quit. I've had enough

323 replies

Mississippilessly · 05/04/2019 20:26

Nearly 7 month old baby - sleep is getting progressively worse, not better. Pretty velcro during the day. I don't really get anything done. Has stopped feeding from my right. Cant pump to try and boost the supply because I just dont have the time. I look ridiculous. Spend most of my life bouncing on a fucking yoga ball in the dark.
Bored of people suggesting I have PND. I haven't had a full nights sleep in 7 months. I spend most of my time with a baby attached to me.
I'm not eating gluten or egg as he has suspected intolerances but I have got differing opinions from different paediatricians.

I'm done. I've had enough. No fucking way will we ever give him a sibling. What the fuck is the point of my life right now?

Sorry. As you were.

OP posts:
BoobiesToTheRescue · 06/04/2019 12:50

God I've no idea, I've always just taken my boobs. And when DS1 went onto bottles he was 11 months so I just did cows milk blue top.
I'm sure someone can help though.

Best of luck, keep us posted how it goes.

rightreckoner · 06/04/2019 12:51

Agree with elspeth.

Prioritise yourself now. Not the baby. Not DH. Not the sodding cat. You need to get some sleep. He may be working hard but he can do a night shift or five (sorry you’ve probably said about expressing and I’ve missed it)

I would honestly be working vvhard to get onto formula right now so the load can be lifted off your shoulders. I had a nonsleeping poonami baby and nannycare goat milk formula worked for us.

Not very MN but that’s my advice. I sobbed about giving up BF too - now the DCs are 12 and 9 and I can barely remember why I was so concerned. I think it’s because when everything is so out of control BF seems like the one thing you can do and so you cling onto it for dear life. You do grow in confidence as a parent once the basics are down (sleep, food) and the bf thing and all the other things you must get right seem to loom less large as you go on.

Mississippilessly · 06/04/2019 12:54

Thanks everyone.
In definitely upset about the fact formula will be more hassle, especially just as we are going away.

I will also be so upset f I give up BF and it makes no difference to him.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

ElspethFlashman · 06/04/2019 12:55

You need a microwave steriliser. You only need to do it in the evening if it fits 6 bottles. You leave them in it till you want one.
Then at night you wash all the bottles and put it on.

We got a Tommee Tippee Perfect Prep after about 2 weeks. We got it half price in Asda at their baby event. That's basically a coffee machine for bottles and it is amazing.

But other people usually make up bottles in advance and put them at the back of the fridge.

The important thing to remember is that powder has to have boiling water on it to kill any bacteria in it. So a slosh of boiling, then filled to the right level with cold.

Mississippilessly · 06/04/2019 12:55

I'm on the fecking yoga ball 2 feet away from bed. Everytime I try to move on to it he wakes up.

OP posts:
Mississippilessly · 06/04/2019 12:57

He's writhing around in my arms Sad

OP posts:
rightreckoner · 06/04/2019 12:57

It makes me laugh when I remember my anguish about BF.

I do make an effort to provide a good diet for the DCs but some days my kids live on pizza and toast and I don’t raise an eyebrow. There’s something so unnerving about having a small and unsleeping baby that you become (in the nicest way) a bit of a loon. I was. Being woken up on the hour every hour for a year will do that to you Grin. All I can tell you is that this will pass and you will get to a point where bf and all that is a tiny footnote.

It is important but you’ve done 7 months which is massive. And now you need to fix this sleep thing. Bon courage !

BishopBrennansArse · 06/04/2019 13:01

Unless you have to get prescription formula you can get most popular brands in cartons ready made. You can also get disposable bottles individually wrapped too.

A trick I found was keeping them vertical for a bit after feeds then walking up and down stairs a few times brings up wind beautifully.

BishopBrennansArse · 06/04/2019 13:02

Have you tried a swing? That was a sanity saver for me

BoobiesToTheRescue · 06/04/2019 13:07

He's writhing around in my arms

Reflux

Mississippilessly · 06/04/2019 13:09

I think so too.

OP posts:
motheroftinydragons · 06/04/2019 13:09

Oh OP. Another one who has been there, for the t-shirt. You poor love.

My first had terrible silent reflux (ranitidine and omeprazole suspension helped) but by the time we managed to get seen and medicated she was 16 weeks and completely bottle averse. She did not sleep. I expressed and mix fed for six bloody months because I felt so guilty that I couldn't BF (she couldn't latch due to birth injuries and my milk didn't come in for 12 days for the same reason). I had a baby who would ONLY dreamfeed, so I had to cuddle her to sleep for every. single. fucking. feed. She was also on another medication for an unrelated issue that she could only have if she ate well because it could make her ill otherwise. So that was fun! She'd sleep in arms, but no where else until she was ten months old.

It was like a switch flicked at that age. It was nothing I did or didn't do it's just like one night she decided she didn't want to be cuddled to sleep, I put her down and off she went. I still had to dreamfeed but at least she slept, I could cope with difficult feeding if I was well rested. She's been a great sleeper ever since - so much so that she now has a baby sister, who luckily has no such problems despite being parented in exactly the same manner!

You've done nothing wrong. Nothing. BF for six months is an amazing achievement.

In your shoes, I would be asking the doctor for reflux meds and a prescription for dairy free formula. Use vanilla if it works, who cares. You need to give the dairy free
Milk a good four to six weeks to get the dairy out of baby's system. The sleep is almost certainly linked to diet/reflux/intolerances. Once you've got the diet sorted sleep will no doubt follow.

Don't give up. And is now the right time for guests? You sound like you need a break not more work. I hope they are going to be helpful guests not ones that want waiting in hand and foot!

Chin up. You'll get there.

Mississippilessly · 06/04/2019 13:13

Now is absolutely not the right time for guests. But I'm stuck with it.

If they're a buying I'm gointoto swear at them

OP posts:
somuchinfo · 06/04/2019 13:19

@Whatad I understand as I also have another Dd like that and I'm not allowed to see my Dgc, which is what makes my relationship with youngest Dd and my dgc even more special. But youngest 22, and dgs live with me so it's a different scenario.

myothernameismyrealone · 06/04/2019 13:21

OP, I thought I'd add to the already helpful (although admittedly conflicting!) advice you've had. I've been where you have twice - my first just wouldn't bastard sleep then DC2 has (had?!) silent reflux and possible CMPA and still rarely sleeps through (18 months).

By 9 months old with DC1 I was on the very brink, I don't think I had PND either but by god I was unhinged - deranged. There was other bad stuff going on at home as well , but I was being woken every 45 minutes by a screaming baby who only napped in the day if I'm the buggy and MOVING. No rest during nap times for me, I had to be out pushing the shitting buggy in the worst of the winter wind and rain.

The thought of cosleeping would have sent be over the edge, I needed space, not more time with the baby. I couldn't wait any longer, so the idea of "this will pass" was utterly unbearable, I had NO reserves left. So we sleep trained at 10 months. We did controlled crying which is NOT the same as CIO. It took three days and DC cried significantly and I mean significantly, less on the nights we CC than they did on an ordinary night waking every sleep cycle, so make of that what you will - and has slept through ever since barring illness etc. But importantly, there are even gentler methods and sleep training does not have to mean being harsh on your baby.

BUT of course if reflux or allergies are the issue then this won't help (yet). DC2 didn't respond to ranitidine- there is also the option of omeprazole. Your Paediatrician sounds unhelpful to say the least. It's hard but I think you go back and get demanding. It may help if you can get DF formula. Giving formula does not necessarily mean the end of the road for BF, I successfully combi fed both of mine - but of course you would have to maintain your dietary exclusions. But you could phase in F and see how you and baby feel about it. Please don't feel it has to be all or nothing or even an immediate decision- that's not pressure you need.

Lastly, do you know anyone IRL you can offload to? Most people I know second time around have been much more honest about how shit things can be with sleep and diet and it makes me feel so much more normal! I also have met other Mums with allergy babies which means you can share the struggle. It's damned isolating being with a small baby and it's easy to imagine everyone else is doing better than you.

And don't feel too awful about the cat - I am a proper "cat lady", avid cat lover who thinks animal cruelty is unforgivable but Jesus wept my noisy mogs have come VERY close to getting a wallop after going and shouting outside DCs door when I've just got them to sleep and I'm desperate.

And don't ever think you're failing because of how your baby is - it's luck of the draw, not your parenting skills!

ememem84 · 06/04/2019 13:23

You’re doing amazingly to have bf this long. I gave up after 6 weeks with ds. (Now 18 months). I couldn’t handle the sleep deprivation.

A week or so after we introduced formula though and he slept through. (Well 5 hours straight).

We’ve been superbly lucky with him.

Dc2 on the way now and I’m hoping we’ll get lucky with them. Unless it’s just one per household....

QuestionableMouse · 06/04/2019 13:23

I've sent you a pm but forgot to say get video of him when he's screaming. A few videos over a couple of nights and show the GP. Make sure your phone is on loud.

BoobiesToTheRescue · 06/04/2019 13:25

Ah yes, typical refluxy babg. God forbid the pram or car stop moving!

myothernameismyrealone · 06/04/2019 13:28

Just saw your update and agree sounds like reflux too. Also second advice of filming it. Has an HV or paediatrician observed your DC feed and / or sleep? The HV observed the feeds and was sure it was SR and she said she was happy to put in a call to the docs to back me up with the docs when I wanted reflux meds etc

And on a side note - I've never found making up bottles that much of a hassle. Takes moments and you'll have the time for it if you have a happy sleeping baby. Microwave sterilisers are cheap and easy.

madcatladyforever · 06/04/2019 13:28

Firstly it isn't your fault, it doesn't matter what you do every baby is different.
Mine slept all night from the word go. My sister who is 100 times a better mum than me (I was 21 and knew nothing) has two little shits that kept her awake for over a year until her hair started to fall out and you couldn't have any kind of conversation with her.
Even now they are 5 in the morning kids.
She breastfed both hers, I bottle fed mine, I don't know if that made a difference.

livinglavidavillanelle · 06/04/2019 13:29

Yes you would need to stop breastfeeding if you give nutramigen. But you could always continue to pump for 3-4 weeks, that way you can go back to breastfeeding if the formula doesn't work. Yes it's more of a faff, but at least you'd be keeping your options open?

Mississippilessly · 06/04/2019 13:34

My head hurts Smile

OP posts:
JeanMichelBisquiat · 06/04/2019 13:40

I've read most but not all, so apols if I'm replicating a reply above, but OP - look at the allergies again! You mentioned coming off dairy, but did no one tell you to cut out all soya as well? The proteins are v similar, so the crossover of gut allergy to both is about 60%

It really, really sounds like an allergic kid to me, and if you stop BFing and introduce formula, you may then end up begging for prescription formula etc.

Like Boobiestotherescue said, revisit the allergies issue - this sounds like a baby in discomfort still.

JeanMichelBisquiat · 06/04/2019 13:43

Ps pm me if details of gastro allergy specialist you can see privately would be of any help

Mississippilessly · 06/04/2019 13:48

That's a good idea.
DH has fucked off out. Baby is just miserable unless I walk around with him
Deep joy.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread