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Original poster

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?

249 replies

GottaGetUp · 30/03/2019 20:49

One that will be friendly and sit on my lap and purr, and not just hit my face at 5am for breakfast and then fuck off out until it gets hungry again?

Or are they all arseholes who let you pet them just often enough that you’ll keep feeding them?

OP posts:
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35
User10fuckingmillion · 31/03/2019 18:43

I had a cat that wasn’t an arsehole! He was very polite.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 31/03/2019 19:24

My favourite cat is an arsehole. He's very old, so he howls in a confused fashion, throws up all over the house, and has bitten the hand that feeds him on a daily basis for 15 years. He was an adult rescue, so I knew what I was letting into my life and did it anyway. When I was single, he slept on the other pillow of my bed every night, which was usually fine except that he snores and on one occasion attacked me like a creature of hell when I got up for a wee and disturbed him.

Our other cat is cute, fluffy and lovely, but still an arsehole. Her favourite place is in the way. She kills everything she sees and her favourite food is the old cat's special expensive prescription-only stuff.

All cats are arseholes, but they're so worth it.

Davros · 31/03/2019 19:29

Sorry, haven't rtft. I think keeping our cat in for the first 6-8 months made her very attached to her humans and she's never killed a bird or mouse

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Blackandpurple · 31/03/2019 19:53

They are arseholes. There is one who lives nearby and ive just seen him running in my field with a bunny in his gob😡😡😡

Little shit. Why not kill the rats which are around?

AllCaughtUp · 31/03/2019 20:02

I have a tabby since he was a kitten. He's quite happy to potter about through the day when we're busy, then on an evening sits on my lap and purrs.
Although, we have young children so I think he tries to avoid them during the day then when they've gone to bed he's ready for some cuddles.

Crunchymum · 31/03/2019 20:05

Any excuse for a cat meme

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
OffToBedhampton · 31/03/2019 21:12

Lol!! I have four British short haired (two are direct brothers) all male and each one is softest, friendliest cats, who love lap sitting and 'the smoothings'!!

They're all a bit cute arseholes at times, Xmas trees are regularly felled by climbing cats!! And don't start me on the full-on bar brawl worthy fights they have at times, or all the bringing in of mice and birds for "a playdate then lunch" (mwah ha ha!). Occasionally we get a mouse in for a few days who hides behind washing machine. Cats take turns on 24/7 guard duty if that occurs. They're quite diligent.

Rarely they overdo their arseholery- once one brought in a rat 🤮 and another time a full sized pigeon 🤔🤪 . I cannot imagine how they got said pigeon sideways through cat flap, as no one owned up to that!

Only one of my 4 is an annoying arsehole, as extremely greedy. He jumps up onto table to steal food whilst we're sat eating it or pushes plates onto floor (when covered on side) so he can get to the meat. He can never be in kitchen when we're cooking or eating, he's too damn quick! He also overeats all the other cats food and makes himself sick. Then goes back for more! But he's very cuddly. Just annoying.

All of mine are the softest most gentle cats though. They (almost) never scratch as they were given so much toddler (over)love as kittens. I think they probably got Stockholm syndrome and I regularly had to send SAS in to rescue kitten hostages from the indignity of being dressed up in tutus and bonnets. Silly cats still seek DC out, even when youngest DC is getting toy pram out ready for a stroll in garden with cat baby.

We never let our cat overlords in bedrooms or they'd leave hair on pillows, sleep in our beds more than us and wake DC up all night with "is it morning feed yet? What about now?.." over keeness.

So in summary, we got ours as kittens, they are soft and cuddly even oldest at 10. Still arseholes though...

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
OffToBedhampton · 31/03/2019 21:26

janetWeiss
Lol my greedy cat does this too...
....one who insists on hugs, shouts a lot, and goes round telling all the neighbours that I starve him cruelly.

Arsehole. 😂

Moominfan · 31/03/2019 21:29

My cat knows how rough it is out there. We're her 4th home. No idea first owners. 2nd locked her out and cba. My mum adopted her from said shitty neighbors but already had 3cats. Basically landed on her feet with us, no other cats just a toddler to contend with.

Babdoc · 31/03/2019 21:39

I’d echo the PP who recommended a black British Shorthair. I’ve always had them as rescue cats and they have lovely personalities. My current one is a great mouser who regularly goes out murdering vermin, but she sleeps on my bed and purrs on my lap very contentedly.
They’re long lived - my last one was 21 when he died, so you only have the distress of saying goodbye to them once every couple of decades or so.

bilbodog · 31/03/2019 23:07

Thats why i prefer dogs!

MissGuernsey · 31/03/2019 23:14

I have an arsehole cat. He is very old.

I bought him a cat bed. He refused to use it. I returned it to the shop and he refused to use the replacement.

However, he is happy to sleep in an empty Aldi 40p shopping bag. He loves to hit it so it makes a noise. Is this normal?

ineedaknittedhat · 01/04/2019 00:40

Get a neutered male black cat. These are the nicest cats ever. Make sure you go to a rescue shelter as rescue cats are always grateful for a good home.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 01/04/2019 05:59

My puss cat soldier has always been very loving and affectionate

He will sit on my lap follow me around cuddle me at night

And also tap my face for attention around 4am if I ignore him he will tap again with his claws out

The human and cat relationship isn’t a healthy relationship if you accept its about their needs first you might me happy in it

jaffajiffy · 01/04/2019 06:40

I have two cats both from rescue. Girl tabby areshole who visits the neighbours. Friendly but on her terms. Black long haired dope who falls off sofas and cba to groom so has clumps of matted fur that they have to clip out. He is the friendliest snuggle cat ever.
So another note for black male.

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
BarbaraofSevillle · 01/04/2019 06:58

Another vote for an older rescue that has been in a foster home so their personality in a normal home environment is well known.

I'd say don't get a tortie or tortie white. They're well known for being arseholes in exactly the way you describe. I have a 12 YO tortie white and she does sit on my lap, but she will slap me if I don't stroke her exactly in her preferred manner and she will also slap me when she has had enough. She also demands that we get up when she wants her breakfast.

sashh · 01/04/2019 07:12

Be careful what you wish for.

Mine would happily sit on me 24/7 with just a food and a toilet break.

This makes it difficult to do anything, I have got adept at typing around her, I am now used to sweeping an arm across me when I turn over in bed so I don't roll on top of her as she perches on my hip.

She follows me from room to room, she has gone to sleep curled up on the side of the bath while I'm trying to relax.

When she had only been here a couple of weeks I was cooking, chopping something and I felt claws in my back, she had jumped up, she then climbed up so she could watch me cooking over my shoulder.

My only saving is that she is a complete tart so if I have a visitor she will curl up on them and purr.

MissGuernsey

Mine like to get into a Lidl bag in the middle of the night so she can crumple it to wake me up and then jump on my shoulder and wail in my ear because I'm awake and she needs me to tickle her belly.

BarbaraofSevillle · 01/04/2019 07:29

I've also had cats that were too loving of lap time. We had a cat that was the biggest mummy's boy ever and was on my lap every time I sat down and agree that it can be wearing sometimes when you need to get stuff done.

In the last couple of years of his long life, he probably developed a dementia type illness that meant he got real separation anxiety if I wasn't there. Sad

We've also had the 'bag rolling around the bedroom in the middle of the night' but in our case it was a Primark paper bag, which is quite a startling thing to wake up to.

In my experience, black cats, especially those with some Burmese or Siamese in them, are especially loving. Added advantage is that black cats usually take longer to rehome, historically because they were seen as bad luck or witches cats, but now because it is harder to take nice pictures of them so not as instagram friendly Sad Angry Hmm.

sashh · 01/04/2019 08:09

We've also had the 'bag rolling around the bedroom in the middle of the night' but in our case it was a Primark paper bag, which is quite a startling thing to wake up to.

I was once woken up by a chinchilla chasing a cat under my bed.

CosyAsAToasty · 01/04/2019 08:15

Get the ones with batteries. Sold from any decent toyshop. If it's being an arse, turn it off. Problem solved.

Glowerglass · 01/04/2019 08:17

All cats are arseholes. Kittens are supercharged arseholes.

I think it's the luck of the draw.

MsMustDoBetter · 01/04/2019 08:21

I have two very affectionate cats. They are so sweet and gentle by nature and love nothing more than cuddling up.

I've had arsehole cats in the past.

DerbyRacer · 01/04/2019 08:29

I am so lucky. My rescue cat loves to be cuddled and sit on my lap. She even strokes me with her paw. She loves sitting in the garden with me in summer. She is the perfect companion for me.

roundligament · 01/04/2019 10:48

I've come back to say my husband told me that if a cat has more then three stripes on the back of its head it's not a legit domestic one. It's like a feral little beast.
My cat, has 5 and she is more nasty then a cheetah.

PetsFactor · 01/04/2019 13:59

We thought we were getting a crabbit arsehole cat, turned out to be a cuddly big baby