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Original poster

What secrets do you have from your DH?

143 replies

DirtyDennis · 28/03/2019 10:13

I have a couple of really dull secrets that I keep from DH

First, DH doesn't know I'm on MN (been here for 6 years). I had a dream last night that my DH caught me on MN. I woke up in a cold sweat like I'd been caught out in an affair Blush
He wouldn't care, I think he'd just think it's a bit weird because we don't have children and he'd assume MN is for parents.

Second, I have a secret email account that I use for complaining to companies about shoddy products or service. DH is a really relaxed person and never lets anything get to him or phase him but I'm kind of up-tight and actually find it quite cathartic to voice my complaints about really mundane things. Grin

A friend was recently telling me that for the last few years she's told her DH that she goes to yoga on a Wednesday evening but she doesn't - she goes to an art gallery for a wander around then has a coffee and cake before jogging home (to look sweaty). Again, he wouldn't care but it's been too long now to tell him the truth Grin

Tell me what weird and completely inane secrets you've got from your DH...

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 28/03/2019 13:44

He doesn't know that the guy who recently started work in my tiny office (there's just the two of us there) is effing gorgeous. It's not a secret as much as I can't find the words to let him know.

One day he'll meet him then be like you never told me he was THAT good looking! Can't win really.

EssentialHummus · 28/03/2019 13:45

My taste in porn would blow his mind I think.

myidentitymycrisis · 28/03/2019 13:56

Secret savings
Termination in my youth
I comfort eat ( but I’m slim so he wouldn’t think)

HotChocolateLover · 28/03/2019 14:07

That I haven’t read the book he wrote. I feel so bad about this but I just never have the time plus it’s in a genre I would never read. I just feel bad because he would read any crap I wrote 😂😂

TreacherousPissFlap · 28/03/2019 14:22

I'm also loving the amount of secret wanking that goes on Grin I thought it was only me Confused

CakeNinja · 28/03/2019 14:36

Not much other than a few big things friends have told me that he would be shocked to find out. Not really ‘my’ secrets.
But a pp has reminded me that I lost an earring from a very expensive set he bought me the first night I wore them out. I got very drunk and think I fell over in the beer garden (makes me sound like a terrible boozer!) - he may have had to carry me home Blush
Next day I only had one in so I whipped it out and replaced them with a very cheap but quite similar pair. He has never noticed and often compliments himself on being such an excellent earring chooser Grin
I don’t know why I didn’t tell him, he wouldn’t care about the money, he didn’t particularly spend ages agonising over them, they weren’t bought for a birthday or anything but because he was buying himself something from the jewellers and got me something at the same time. I think I just felt bad because they were so expensive.

KateGrey · 28/03/2019 14:56

That I strongly suspect that I have undiagnosed adhd (two kids with asd and adhd diagnosed). That I masturbate a lot. That I have a lot of crushes on women and wish I’d explored that before I met him. That I have two vibrators. That I’m quite bored and unsatisfied with my life and slightly wish I could have a do over (life is very restricted due to the two children with disabilities). That I’m crap at moderating the junk I eat so sometimes Chuck half full bags of crisps of mine in the bin to stop me binging.

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme · 28/03/2019 16:22

.
I don't love him he killed my love over the years- I'm staying because he is behaving like the man I fell in love with after I discovered his old affair .we have kids and I can't afford the house on my own. When the kids are no longer dependant on me ....

Proudirishnotpaddy · 28/03/2019 16:23

I don’t have a DH.

I do t have to be duplicitous. It’s great. I’d recommend it.

Mof3K · 28/03/2019 16:30

That i applied for a PPI refund on my credit card and got 3 grand. I didn't tell him. I just spent it.

That i use Instagram obsessively.
I also watch porn.
I binge eat.

tobee · 28/03/2019 16:42

Not much but I often say I got "xyz at £xyz as it was reduced" I don't lie about the price because we have joint credit card but I make it sound like it was a good deal. Whereas in fact it was full price. But only occasionally.

Murinae · 28/03/2019 16:49

I didn’t tell him I dropped my iPhone down the toilet and had to pay £160 for a replacement one. Just paid in cash so he never noticed it on our bank account.

Dramatical · 28/03/2019 17:00

I recently told mine about the time I went out to sort the laundry when we were on holiday but secretly I paid for a service wash and went for a quiet lunch alone while leaving home with 3 small children in a caravan Grin

It was about 15 years ago, but he had no idea until a few weeks ago Grin

Jaxhog · 28/03/2019 17:03

How much I spend on shoes. (Although, I think he probably knows.)

Witchend · 28/03/2019 17:11

I have a secret cupboard where I have a couple of packets of biscuits and cans of cola. I think he suspects though.

Glitteryfrog · 28/03/2019 17:38

That there is all sorts of fun in the cupboard, but he'd actually have to bend down and have a proper look.

PH03b3 · 28/03/2019 17:42

I spend far too much money on takeaway coffees on the way to work. Realised other day I'm using an account that's in both of our names but he doesnt use it so he could easily see he wouldn't care we can afford it but still i got nervous!

Nuffaluff · 28/03/2019 17:47

That I’ve just ordered a new vibrator from Lovehoney.
That I’ve already got three stuffed in my underwear drawer upstairs.
That I’ve got a ridiculous crush on sexy yoga guy from my yoga class (which is getting worse).

IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy · 28/03/2019 17:47

My Pinterest account. He knows I use it for crochet patterns, decorating ideas and recipes. He has no idea I have secret boards for pregnancy stuff, decorating a baby nursery ideas and baby outfits.
We are ttc but have fertility issues and it may never work out. He wouldn't understand it but I have a fantasy life that gets played out in Pinterest.

I watch Christmas films in the summer and I watch Gilmore Girls.

I keep a lot of my family members secrets because they're not mine to tell

kbPOW · 28/03/2019 17:52

Love this thread. So much wankingShock Grin. And this That I haven’t read the book he wrote is quite special.

I'm single, so no secrets.

Iminitforthewine · 28/03/2019 17:56

I have sneaky fags now and again i love a coffee and a ciggie we "stopped" 5 years ago Blush

Tinkerballs1 · 28/03/2019 17:59

A whole other life

TooOldForThisWhoCares · 28/03/2019 18:02

That I write really smutty fanfic. He knows I write buy not the content 😂

Annietheacrobat · 28/03/2019 18:28

That I lost my virginity to a barman on holiday. Classy.

Yearofchange · 28/03/2019 18:32

That I sold a limited edition perfume he bought me but kept the packaging so he would think I still have it Blush I just didn’t like it but it was so expensive I couldn’t admit it

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