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Original poster

What secrets do you have from your DH?

143 replies

DirtyDennis · 28/03/2019 10:13

I have a couple of really dull secrets that I keep from DH

First, DH doesn't know I'm on MN (been here for 6 years). I had a dream last night that my DH caught me on MN. I woke up in a cold sweat like I'd been caught out in an affair Blush
He wouldn't care, I think he'd just think it's a bit weird because we don't have children and he'd assume MN is for parents.

Second, I have a secret email account that I use for complaining to companies about shoddy products or service. DH is a really relaxed person and never lets anything get to him or phase him but I'm kind of up-tight and actually find it quite cathartic to voice my complaints about really mundane things. Grin

A friend was recently telling me that for the last few years she's told her DH that she goes to yoga on a Wednesday evening but she doesn't - she goes to an art gallery for a wander around then has a coffee and cake before jogging home (to look sweaty). Again, he wouldn't care but it's been too long now to tell him the truth Grin

Tell me what weird and completely inane secrets you've got from your DH...

OP posts:
Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 29/03/2019 16:50

I don't think I deliberately keep stuff from him, I'd tell him truthfully if he asked me, I just don't volunteer the information Blush

  1. I put money into a secret savings account just in case. Never from the household budget, I just save a lot of my 'fun money' that we give ourselves. Just because you never know.
  2. That I watch a lot of trash TV when he's at work - say yes to the dress, teen mum etc etc
  3. That I eat more junk food than he thinks. He knows I buy cereal and fruit for the week on my way to work but I've not volunteered that I also buy a big bag of crisps for the week and usually some chocolate too Blush
  4. The amount of people I've slept with - I think he thinks it's just him and ex long term partner. I slept with a friend at uni and had a ONS not long before I met him. Not hiding it from him, just embarrassed because it's out of character for me.
Chocolateisfab · 29/03/2019 20:02

Time - my phone let me see the start of your post and I thought it was reading larger penis!
Blush

TurquoiseLagoon · 29/03/2019 20:18

Chocolate I thought the same thing GrinGrin

TimeIhadaNameChange · 29/03/2019 21:11

That I would not know!!!!!

Mummabear2212 · 29/03/2019 21:16

That I've got 3 boxes of 5x Cadbury caramel eggs hidden so I can eat them alone. I save them for Thurs and Friday when DS is napping, I'm not at work and DH is. I can't share them. I'm addicted and need my fix and sharing would mean I'm 1 precious egg down.

In reality, he probably suspects I have a secret stash as I get addicted every year, he just doesn't know where Grin

Hiddenaspie1973 · 29/03/2019 21:17

All my secrets are out of the window now he's just installed cctv.
I ordered a dominos last week on my day off... then shit myself realising that he'd see it on the cctv. 😂😂😂
It's just no fun.
However, he doesn't know how much I eat. But he's found all my stashes so i have to become more cunning. We've lived together for 22 years though.
There are 2 others I've never told and never will.

Elizabeth2019 · 29/03/2019 21:29

He knows I dislike clutter, and suspects I get rid of the junk he accumulates (serious hoarder!) but he doesn’t realise how much of it I dispose of! Like seriously A LOT! But I’m sneaky, I clear loads away and put it in the garage / attic / cupboard for a few months to see if he notices - he doesn’t. I then donate or throw whatever tat it was.

To give an idea - several more TVs than rooms, unfitted lights, 4 big bags of light bulbs, random statue / ornament things 😱 he can’t resist a “bargain” but doesn’t understand it’s not a bargain if it’s not needed or wanted! I do save any sentimental items such as cards etc for him.

Oh and I spend way more on clothes than he realises 🤗

Mummabear2212 · 29/03/2019 21:36

A more serious one, he doesn't know that within half a day I could organise DS and me to leave him and set up elsewhere. Not because I have plans to or any need ,but watching DM in an EA marriage with DF for half my life has meant that my way of 'protecting' myself is to always know my way out even though I hope I'll never need it.

Now, back to my eggs...!

whitehalleve · 29/03/2019 21:41

I have many £10,000s in the bank he knows nothing about.

ilovepixie · 29/03/2019 21:42

I ate his Easter egg my mum bought him! I ate mine weeks ago lol

bellalou1234 · 29/03/2019 21:44

Mellongoose, i have that same delicious habit

Wilberforce2 · 29/03/2019 21:45

That I am trying to pay off a debt from about 20 years ago and it's really getting me down. I have a post about it on the money board if anyone has any advice.

Also I kissed his brother before we got together Blush His brother is dead now so that secret is safe with me!!

AIBUtopickanyoldname · 29/03/2019 21:46

DH doesn’t know I’ve had Botox.

As I see it, it’s my face, my money and none of his business.

Deadringer · 29/03/2019 21:47

I hit DH's car when I was turning on our road years ago. He didn't notice the dent until a couple of weeks later when we were in town and he assumed it happened there. I never said a word.

Gibble1 · 29/03/2019 22:15

DH doesn’t know that I am squirrelling money away to repay his Mum. Well, he knows but he doesn’t know that I have over £300 in my knicker drawer from last month alone. We owe her 2K and I had saved £375 and given it to her in November and then 2 days later crashed my car and had to borrow it back to pay my excess.
He is totally infused about paying her back whereas I worry about it constantly because I need to get work done on the house and want to start saving for that.
Every month on our respective paydays I will work out how much was left in the account and withdraw the cash to give her. I frequently have to buy stuff for a voluntary group and then claim it back so I pay the cheque in and take the cash out as it’s always over a month before I get the cheque. The cash goes into my knicker drawer.
Hopefully I will manage to repay her this year.

MitziK · 29/03/2019 22:41

That I think his cooking/mealplanning/timing is fucking shit and I cringe at almost everything he brings out of the kitchen (half past ten last night, he brings out Toad in the Hole. Just that. In a bowl. And that was the best thing he's made for weeks).

SuddenlyISee · 29/03/2019 22:43

We've just started watching a new box set together but I haven't told him that I already watched the lot whilst on maternity leave.

captainkangaroo · 29/03/2019 22:59

2 yrs ago my mum gave me £20k. I have it in a savings account and every month I add what I can to it. I only wok 24hrs a week at the moment 4 kids been a sahm for 10 yrs. but as soon as my youngest goes to school next September, I will go back full time and I will be in a great position to leave him. He's an arsehole and always tells me if I leave I will leave with nothing. I cant wait to see the look on his face.

babyno5 · 29/03/2019 23:35

That I have a secret YouTube habit-love watching pimple popping videos 😂😂

ScruffGin · 30/03/2019 11:47

He thinks I gave up smoking over 6 years ago, but in reality it was the day I found out I was pregnant, which was only 18 months ago

RavenClaw180 · 30/03/2019 11:50

He thinks I'm a vegetarian. It's been 13 years, I can't tell him now!

ChodeofChodeHall · 30/03/2019 12:00

I can't think of any! I think it would be horribly stressful trying to keep a secret from DH. He knows me so well, I'm sure he'd know something was going on.

Diemme · 30/03/2019 12:01

My weight
My secret eating
How much facial hair I'd have if I didn't wax twice a week.
And that I'd quite like to sleep with a woman at some stage!

BringItOn88 · 30/03/2019 12:03

Another one for secret wanker and porn watcher here

Petitprince · 30/03/2019 14:20

How much I save each month. We both have our own money each month as well as joint money for bills and joint savings. But I save some each month too, because looking at it makes me feel secure. He knows I have some, but I think he'd be surprised if he knew how much.