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Original poster

What secrets do you have from your DH?

143 replies

DirtyDennis · 28/03/2019 10:13

I have a couple of really dull secrets that I keep from DH

First, DH doesn't know I'm on MN (been here for 6 years). I had a dream last night that my DH caught me on MN. I woke up in a cold sweat like I'd been caught out in an affair
He wouldn't care, I think he'd just think it's a bit weird because we don't have children and he'd assume MN is for parents.

Second, I have a secret email account that I use for complaining to companies about shoddy products or service. DH is a really relaxed person and never lets anything get to him or phase him but I'm kind of up-tight and actually find it quite cathartic to voice my complaints about really mundane things.

A friend was recently telling me that for the last few years she's told her DH that she goes to yoga on a Wednesday evening but she doesn't - she goes to an art gallery for a wander around then has a coffee and cake before jogging home (to look sweaty). Again, he wouldn't care but it's been too long now to tell him the truth

Tell me what weird and completely inane secrets you've got from your DH...

OP posts:

cheezels · 28/03/2019 11:37

@LittleScottish 😂😂 that escalated

SurgeHopper · 28/03/2019 11:38

I often tell him it was half the price it actually was

I have a secret UK account and spend it on treats for me like lunches and pedicures

All sorts of other stuff

Keener · 28/03/2019 11:38

That the last person I slept with before he and I got together was a woman. It wouldn't bother him in the least, I just like having some private history.

Hungrymamabear · 28/03/2019 11:39

This is gonna sound awful, but the fact I have a secret Instagram to keep in contact with people from my past (before him) he is controlling and doesnt approve of keeping in contact with supposed bad people who are old friends when in new relationship even though he still talks to friends he knew before me!
Also keeping from him that I'm actually leaving him next week hell get a shock when he comes home from work and no ones home

cheezels · 28/03/2019 11:40

I don't have anything too interesting. Just the same as some pp's halving or rounding down what things cost, usually clothes.

I drink a fair bit of MacDonald's coffees.

cheezels · 28/03/2019 11:41

@Hungrymamabear and to you! Good on you! He sounds like a knob!

EstrellaDamn · 28/03/2019 11:44

@Hungrymamabear good for you!

MorrisZapp · 28/03/2019 11:44

He doesn't know tons of small stuff that isn't his beeswax.

He doesn't know I have botox.

He doesn't know that my lovely sister in law has been shagging the plasterer. I can't tell him that as I promised not to.

chickenalapesh · 28/03/2019 11:48

@LittleScottish LOL I like you

BertsFriend · 28/03/2019 11:55

That the friend I go to lunch with a couple of times a year is an ex boyfriend from 30 years ago, dh thinks he's just an old colleague, but we lived together for 18 months when I was nineteen. I feel bad about it, but there's a big age gap and dh has commented about grown men with teenage girlfriends before, it would be embarrassing.

Loyaultemelie · 28/03/2019 12:07

That I secretly ate the white twix pack he bought to try and pretend I haven't seen them

I also hate scarves and he keeps buying them when he sees nice ones

Very inane I'm afraid

handslikecowstits · 28/03/2019 12:40

That I have re-washed the load of washing that he put on this morning before leaving for work. He rammed so much in the machine that once it had finished it didn't smell that much better than when it went in and certainly wasn't clean enough for me. I've divided the loads and re-washed.

Can't think of anything else. Rock n roll!!!

HappyGoLuckyGo · 28/03/2019 12:41

Currently, that I'm pregnant! The baby is his But I'm waiting til he's back from a long work trip in about ten days, before telling him...

Original poster

DirtyDennis · 28/03/2019 12:44

@Hungrymamabear Good luck to you!

@MrsPerfect12 here your friend is concerned that is lying and I would be extremely hurt if that was my DH. I wouldn't be able to believe there wasn't more to it as it's a pointless lie

She did go to yoga for months. Then one day it was cancelled but she couldn't go home (can't remember why now) so she grabbed a coffee and a cake at the gallery. She loved it so did it again a few times and then just gave up on yoga. However, because her Wednesday evenings out became routine, she kind of stopped saying she was going to yoga because it didn't need saying - they just have some tea then she goes out (i.e. without saying "I'm going to yoga" specifically). She says it's gone on too long now to just say "Oh BTW, I don't actually do yoga any more". Her DH wouldn't be hurt by it

OP posts:

WhoKnewBeefStew · 28/03/2019 12:50

I watch porn occasionally and wank more than he realises

He’s no idea the amount I spend on bike gear or a next (manager to receive and send back a huge box of stuff yesterday - didn’t like any of it)

amusedbush · 28/03/2019 12:56

That after I wave him off to work on a Saturday morning I lock the door behind him and have a wank

How much I spend on take away coffee.

How much my hair cuts cost.

limesoda · 28/03/2019 13:11

Just how much money I spent on various sticks to pee on when we first started TTC.

Not much else. I probably drink more wine and spend more on lunches than he realises, but I don’t think he cares. Likewise I don’t have tabs on every bag of chips the man buys. We are grownups and both fairly aware of how much disposable income we have.

Original poster

DirtyDennis · 28/03/2019 13:11

I'm really loving all this secret wanking by the way. Maybe I need to add secret wanking to my list of illicit extra-marital secrets- it's certainly more exciting than my secret complaints email and MN habit

OP posts:

pisspawpatrol · 28/03/2019 13:25

That I once ate his birthday sweets and secretly replaced them. He was a bit surprised to find they had multiplied over night but I pleaded ignorance and in the end he thought he'd just eaten less than he thought!

NerdyBird · 28/03/2019 13:29

Probably the amount of money I spend on junk and snack food. It's my own money so no reason for him to know! He knows I read and post on here but isn't interested in the details, just like he knows I have Instagram but again isn't interested.

MinnieMountain · 28/03/2019 13:30

EastMidsGPs I admitted to that. He doesn't understand but he didn't divorce me

I have a slight crush on a colleague

HollowTalk · 28/03/2019 13:32

@WhatNowRandy

He doesn't know my closest friend's (who he also kind of knows) MH struggles and horrific abuse past, because that's not my secret to share with anyone, so I guess I'm keeping that from him?

I think you sound a really good friend. So many women on here try to justify telling their husbands their friends' secrets.

Hiddenaspie1973 · 28/03/2019 13:32

Crikey i haven't told a soul, never will.

RomanyQueen1 · 28/03/2019 13:33

No secrets, we are both brutally honest
It has it's good and bad moments

Awks · 28/03/2019 13:40

That I've lost the really expensive clutch bag he bought me got our silver wedding anniversary. I think I mistakenly gave it to charity with a load of other cheap bags.

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