I can solve all your problems, forever

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

You could invest him
In our venture Dog but still leave a review, you might get another free one!

That's a good idea Dangly, a matching set of fuckboys will be very useful, I'm sure.
Perhaps they could be on the calendar shaving each others ears, or someother amusing pose?
Obviously, I'm happy to lend them out to other Thighlanders who may be in need (although I reserve the right to refuse to lend them the pineapple, I'm not sure she would treat them well).

I think that pineapple would turn her nose up at the fuckboys! She'd only waste them in any case, she just wouldn't know how to get the best out of them like we do.

Just a minute, is this our internalised misogyny talking? Why are we raising money for Fuckboys when we should be having a slanket drive for Thighlanders in straitened circumstances?

I’m abstaining from Fuckboys... I only go out to work (sorry!) and I hate guests so... 🥴

dangly dog I hope you're not being "clever", or "thinking", pineapple would be quite angry!

If anyone offers to adopt a Fuckboy I think there should be a home inspection first.

DT i fancy some strawberries but am scared of the vitamin c and possibility of detimbering. Would they be safe if smothered in sweetened condensed milk? Enough to bury them.

How do you know if you’ve got megalomania? Asking for a friend.

Thigh, you are so right (as usual), I shall immediately donate my fuckboy to a charity auction to raise money for slankets for Thighlanders in need (stin). My autocorrect just changed stin to stain.. how appropriate.

Oh fair point thigh, but I was thinking maybe cream off some profits for thighland? And are any of us actually suitable for rehoming, what with the pissing etc?

midnight when you've seen thighs heart rending campaign you'll sign up for a pair. They do keep each other company, you know.

Slankets for Thighlanders in absolute need (STAIN)

I'm not sure I like the idea of giving succour to faded Fuckboys.
It reflects, far to realistically, my real life.
I think they would be better off being laid gently on triple ply plastic sheeting and cast adrift on the river.
Out of our sight, ergo out of our mind.
There are, as honourable pp has already mentioned 'plenty more fuckboys in the sea'.
There is no logical reason for preserving hoary, hairy earholed, fringe length eyebrowed fuckers who expect Liver and onions on a Tuesday.
(Please remember my previous description of my Russian poisoner with reference to tights, tennis balls and gonads).
Can we have an indicative vote, Great Thigh?

Pooter, no danger of me being clever, i'm still trying to list my skillz, I have not got very far, but I have now sharpened my crayon in readiness for any inspiration that may strike me.

Caroline A PAIR OF THEM?!?

😫🤯

Thigh I had a trying W/E and so purchased red velvet cake before the sun rose ( well sort of) but it was dry and greasy at the same time and didn't take the pain away.

WhatshallIdo?

Eat it anyway. It will be like the ghost of a fine wine that has turned to vinegar: still worth drinking

I’m telling you, MN is noticing me to marry an older man and get him life insurance before pushing him down the stairs.

THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE MESSAGE HERE

‘Enticing’ not ‘noticing’.

Yes!
S.T.A.I.N
Perfection.
Dog I will put forward your name as campaign manager.
We need people like you to spread the word.

Midnight don't panic dear, you only need them to raise funds with. They might be ok kept in a shed or a cage down the garden in between calendar shoots.

Lad don't worry we'll be keeping the money ourselves, as is our right as their owners surely!

No, don't worry Pooter I am only able to be smug and (so clever) when the megalomania gets out of hand but I'm ok with just being thick at the moment. It's a good thing as I'd hate to offend pineapple in any way. It's always been a concern.

Just realised my STAIN acronym didn't work, it'll have to be slankets for Thighlanders absolutely in need.

Project print that off and leave it with your solicitor. When you get done for murder, who can argue that mn didn't force your hand?

Whoah! Hang on Lad , I never signed up to be a manager. Remember, I have no skills.

Slankets for Thighlanders Arseholed In Neath.

Naked The only answer is to get hairy faded fuckboy cocklodger, to bin it.
Go online.
Tesco fuckboy (young, strong, not hairy or whinging) will bring fresh cake and 100 cigarettes for no charge.
(If you've subscribed to delivery saver t's and c's apply of course).