I can solve all your problems, forever

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

Danga how quick can you get here mate? I'm seeing mice everywhere ...

Getting don't panic, I'm in First Response mode, I should be round the corner now, that's if the satnav on my phone works and you really do live in Australia!

Either way I'm nearly there with my toolkit! Do not panic!

Ok I'm here!

I got here via dingo in the end. Now keep your head still and you'll know nothing (ever again!)

Oooops I forgot my glasses!! Never mind, stop wriggling about!!

Is that you or a dingo Danga I'm trying to distinguish the shade of your fur, but the light is so bright...

midnight those are wise words!

dangly I have being doing an in-depth survey of the rest of MN, and let me tell you it's sheer hell out there. I have limped back to thighland a sadder and wiser person. My slanket is here, and there are snax. Home again!

I'm seeing lights at the end of a dark, hairy tunnel. Is Thigh here too?

Another satisfied customer!

Bye Getting see you soon!

Pooter stop leaving, it's not worth the effort! Would you like a lobotomy? I might be passing yours on the way home, actually best not, I really need a wee now and Getting looked a bit pasty when I left her.

Shall I piss on the return Dingo?

I'm seeing ads for Experian about getting a loan! As IF I would want to know about my own credit rating! That's not going to cheer me up is it? Pah!!

Is it just loads of smug (I'm so clever) rubbish.....?

I love it that pineapplecore thinks:
A) that anyone thinks what they are writing is clever
B) that being clever is an insult

Hang on, she is Paulinebot. Will that woman ever die, thigh? ( did you like what I did there? I'm sooooo clever)

Hello naked

I missed you so much I was nearly sick but didn't want to waste my galaxy and scampi knick knacks.

I've just lobotomised Getting so she might be clever now!

I'm so glad you witnessed the pineapple in action.

I'm feeling smug and (so clever) today having just done major surgery on my own!!

pineapple wouldn't like it one bit, she would declare it nonsense and bang down her gavel to rest her case importantly!

If she is PaulineBot, she has fucked right off!

I hope not to plot against thigh again! Keep a close eye on thigh she might start on that sultana bran again!

bang down her gavel to rest her case importantly!

Ooh Dangly you're so masterful, it's verrrry attractive

naked I think it's just a blockage near AIBU. Has anyone got any drain rods?

I think it was the destabilising effect of pineapple's opprobrium yesterday that caused our dear leader Thigh and our dearest founding member Getting to be distracted into a high energy duel this morning.

It's a divide and rule strategy, we must resist by turning over slowly and stretching, do not point your feet if you practise slanket stretching, I did this morning during the duel and was forced into an upright position due to foot cramp.
I almost fainted.
Stay strong.

Thanks lad my slanket technique has been quite poor recently and I am glad of a refresher course. There doesn't seem to be much on youtube.

BTW while on my travels I stuck my head in at Gransnet, but it's still in lockdown. Some skank with a shiv I believe.

naked why thank you, I actually AM feeling verrrry attractive and masterful as well as the usual smug (and clever).

Oh blimey! I've caught the meglomania from thigh !! Never mind!

Lad stop moving about so much, it burns calories! Have a little nap instead.

Do you know where we can buy the much advertised Yorkshire Tea on toast? It's thick, just like some people I've seen on FB this morning.....

polarpig hello!

But what is this Tea on Toast you describe? Is it new snax we should be knowing about?

Pooter Stop going away - you know it makes you cross. Being cross wastes valuable calories that you made the effort to ingest. Why do you do it? They never pay attention and they have such silly troubles, not like us. As Pineapple pointed out, we are very, very clever. She wasn't being sarcastic was she?

Dangles is your van called a lobotomobile? It should be.

I'm so sad that Getting ignored me this morning. It's really affected my self esteem. It's made me go all C Cluster, I feel a tear at the corner of my good eye.

If my self esteem plummets any further I'll stop suffering from megalomania and thinly veiled sociopathy and then where would we all be? Style and Beauty, that's where.

FUCK OFF Shark Vacuum - I don't want you. Not even in 2 easy payments.

New ad - Do you like to hunt or fish - Fin and Field. And MN jobs - No. I offered to power share with MN waaaayyyy back on thread 1 and they turned me down. Their prescience almost impresses me, they knew we would take over the entire world.

FUCK OFF SHARK CORDLESS.

Now a Yoga bendy job - this really is taking the piss.