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Original poster

I can solve all your problems, forever

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/03/2019 20:41

I'm a self appointed non medically trained kindly interested nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and welcome you to my advice clinic.

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Thread gallery
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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:21

Please love me Thigh I'm so gay for you, I'll sing Waltzing Matilda and call you Kylie again.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:22

I'll change anything about myself Thigh tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:23

Clever Getting, and devious. She knows my Achilles heel is to be ignored.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:25

STOP IT! You win.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:26

I'm ordering you to stop ignoring me Getting.

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Gettingnowhere · 01/04/2019 09:26

Sorry, didn't quite catch that. Can you repeat it?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:27

HOW DARE YOU!

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Gettingnowhere · 01/04/2019 09:28

Squeak, squeak, squeak. There must be a little mouse running about

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:30

You do realise you've exposed my weak spot to the evil forces now, don't you?

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:31

I had kept my pathological attention seeking under closely guarded wraps up until now.

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Gettingnowhere · 01/04/2019 09:31

Oh, I thought you said your weak spot was that little spot on your belly that's all tickly when I stroke it with a feather. My bad

TheLoneWolfDies · 01/04/2019 09:32

My ads are coffee and dubai. Fuck off dubai, totally irrelevant to me with a 5 month old. Rub it in my face mumsnet! Coffee can stay though.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:33

Ooh flexible yoga lady ad - what does it mean? I'm not working harder, more flexibly or doing yoga so that's a wasted ad.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:35

My ads are for really strange dresses, very long and shapeless linen - burkhas? Could I be getting your ads Wolf?

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:37

Wolf what are you doing with a 5 month old? Hand it in at the police station ffs.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:39

Oh Wolf I thought you were in Dubai, obviously why would you go on holiday there? Don't think you're allowed to have sex on sunloungers so probs not a safe place for you.

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TheLoneWolfDies · 01/04/2019 09:41

Thigh Ill take long and shapeless linen, you can have Dubai. As for 5 month old, I was thinking of training it to fetch things for me and do the dishes. Will see what his work etique is like before turning him in.

DogHairEverywhere · 01/04/2019 09:41

My job ad is of a woman lying down...it could be just the job for me!

I can solve all your problems, forever
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 01/04/2019 09:42

Great, have to load the dishwasher again. Eating into my fucking nap time.

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CarolinePooter · 01/04/2019 09:42

Eh, what? Did somebody call my name, or was it just Dog emitting a ladylike fart? Let me turn my hearing aid up to 11.

Thigh I am really really shocked to hear about Gwynnie. I know she is a fierce brexiteer, but bombing Dresden???

Also, this fanny infringement has got to stop. OK anyone with a travel kettle and a good aim - fair play to them if they want to risk it. But cigars up there as well? If a nicotine patch was good enough for the Queen Mother, then it should be perfectly OK for the rest of us.

DogHairEverywhere · 01/04/2019 09:44

Ppprrraaaarrrrppppp, nothing ladylike about THAT one!

CarolinePooter · 01/04/2019 09:49

Huzzah! Nothing worse than trapped wind . Give it some welly, dog !

DanglyTassles · 01/04/2019 10:00

CarolinePooter Where have you beeeen???

I was just about to complain last night that you appeared to have run off with naked when, as if by magic, naked came back. I was so glad and confused I went back to sleep.

MidnightBlue28 · 01/04/2019 10:08

Where e’er you be let your wind go free!

DanglyTassles · 01/04/2019 10:15

Hello Midnight nice to see you!

Getting !!! You are out of control!! I am coming to Oz in my van to give you a lobotomy! It's for your own good mate, hang fire, be with you in 5.

Is there a Virgin train to Auss or do I have to get the old slag train?