When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
"he was treating me badly and i was living on eggshells"
"he makes my life hell, threatening to come to my workplace and beat this othee guy up."
"how long do i put up with being shouted at and being uncontrollably upset by the things he is saying."
"I've wanted to leave so many times, "
"He's a pretty aggressive person, he's punched a hole in one of the walls and a door in the house, and put his foot through a plastic chair. "Some of the things my OH has said he would do to him are awful though and it scares me."
"We had another bad night last night, thoughg i was doing right when it seems i can't do right for doing wrong"
"I said he's making me ill with the constant arguments and nasty behaviour but he said its what I've caused"
"He tells me (because of the messages) if i leave him i will only ever be used and no one will love me like he does, I'll end up being alone and living in my parents box room. I don't recognise the person he is"
"I'm not allowed to go to the town where this guy lives, or go out with people from work incase he is there. I've got a tracker on my phone (which i know is ridiculous but i had nothing to hide so i agreed) and he wants me to do a lie detector test."
"He's been nasty in the past, his brother and wife actually said they dont blame me for leaving in the first place because they have aeen how he has treated me."
"he's told me things that i kniw is a blatant lie and its all to make me worry, overthink and question myself."
"it petrifies me thinking this is my life forever"
"I've explained everything time and time again, he doesn't listen and says he's not satisfied with the answer. He got up tjis morning and the first thing he said was get dressed because we're going to that guys house!"
"He says things like he doesn't care of he end up in prison, he'll have nothing left anyway, i know the latter is mind games "
"He's just flipped out, i told him, in fact begged him to stop all of this. I said he's making me have a breakdown. Amd its domestic abuse, he flipped and turned the table over in the living room"
You have rescued yourself from all this!
Your relationship was already unhealthy before you left. He was already abusive and controlling, and it must have been pretty bad for his own flesh and blood to have said so. As you say, it is always worse behind closed doors, so if they noticed, and spoke out.....
It is now far worse, and if you go back it will get worse still. He will not change. He will be crueller, you will get exhausted and your self esteem will sink below the level that you can help yourself.
You have done FANTASTICALLY WELL to get out and to talk to your parents and your friend.
You took that lifeboat - keep rowing!