Live parking thread - cheeky fucking builders!

[TinselAndKnickers]

So my neighbours are getting work done again, and as usual they haven't told us (yesterday the work started at 6:30am but that's another story) and today I have gone out ready for my day to see a big fuck off lorry blocking my drive. Knocked on next door. No answer. Fence between us so not like I can even just use their drive to get out!

Crappy diagram attached.

FUMING

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

That parking diagram deserves an award OP. I realize you're not in the mood at the moment to go accepting awards while you're on the hunt for these CFers.

I would lean on the horn.

I would also post a note through the letter box saying that if you can't exit your driveway, they are going to be billed for any time that you're not in work as you've managed to work out your hourly rate and it comes to £150 per hour or part thereof. You'll charge them £150 for the first hour (even if you are blocked for part of that hour) and then it goes up in 'part thereof'.

The ONLY way to deal with this is to hit them financially in their pocket. Make it a disincentive to park across your driveway when there is an available driveway to park on.

[Notwotuknow]

I think you should write that message on the side of the actual truck (in lipstick, of course).

[cjt110]

I would let the air out of their tyres personally...

[Notwotuknow]

"Big Fuck Off Lorry" is the message I mean.

[BeanBagBalls]

The neighbour who is having the work done or a different neighbour?

[lmusic87]

What a twat.

[NetballHoop]

Should you decide to leave them a message written in Vaseline, I suggest you make it stand out a bit more by pouring glitter over the Vaseline. I'm assured that it makes it stand out much more. Obviously it would be unfortunate if some fell down into the air intake for the fan...

[TildaTurnip]

Id be furious! They don’t know you didn’t need to be out for an appt or to collect children!

[Lweji]

I'd have called the police after 5-10 min max (in fact, I did once and I wasn't even blocked in, just out). You're too patient, OP.

[Lweji]

Wait... according to some poster (the same) on another thread, you're supposed to ask neighbours for lifts.
You should have made your neighbours take you to wherever you want to go, or pay for taxi there and back. They can take it off payment to the builders if they want.

[64sNewName]

That diagram is so great

[TinselAndKnickers]

Following on from another thread, can’t the OP catch a bus/tram/train/taxi to where she wants to go?

After all, it must be important for the neighbours to have it there, no?

Not the point! My drive - get your fucking lorry off the end of it  there are no direct buses to where I was headed and I don't see why I should have to pay £10+ when I could use my car for much much less in petrol!

@BeanBagBalls the neighbour who is having the work done came back and I grabbed her. She has agreed to let me know about all work done. She has let them into my garden before to use our hose and they left loads of tools scattered on the floor! she picks the woooorst workmen.

[TinselAndKnickers]

Neighbour has managed to get through to original Gumtree poster who is now ringing their minion workmen. They better fucking move ASAP!!

Agree with PP who said I'm too patient - however I go bright red in most confrontations

[Lweji]

Never mind public transport. Ask her for a lift. Even if you don't need to go out now, go shopping or whatever. Make her pay for your taxi and call it.
Her mess, she sorts it.

[Romanov]

the neighbour who is having the work done came back and I grabbed her. She has agreed to let me know about all work done. She has let them into my garden before to use our hose and they left loads of tools scattered on the floor! she picks the woooorst workmen

she did WHAT????

[TinselAndKnickers]

THERE IS MOVEMENT PEOPLE - one of the men has jogged back. Is now by the van texting.

[TeaForDad]

Chase the van and block him in

[TinselAndKnickers]

Its moved... about a metre Enough to get out. I might park right on the end so there's no way they can park it there tomorrow??

[Godowneasy]

Honey on the door handles may make them remember not to park over peoples drives again.
Damn those schoolkids on their lunchbreak

[MooseyMoo]

Hopefully not a bowel movement ...

[Jakethekid]

Didn't you ask your neighbour why they haven't parked on her drive?.... this is a bit confusing. Your neighbour hired these men, she's responsible for sorting it out

[bigbangfangirl]

@Godowneasy ooooo I like your style!

[Notwotuknow]

Or you could rearrange out so it reads "Fuck off, big lorry"

[cjt110]

Or dogshit under the handles...

[TinselAndKnickers]

@Jakethekid they needed "space" for their many pipes. They're only "doing up the patio" as she said so I'm not quite sure what for. She's very scatty - getting the men off Gumtree is evidence