I definitely look 50 ! 
I had my kids a little than older than normal at 40 and 38, and lost one in pregnancy at 46.
I’d had a decade of DV before leaving with my toddler and newborn-in-arms.
I then jumped out of the frying pan into the fire and have had a couple of years of abuse from a family member, and continuing narcissistic issues from my mother.
But I passed my driving test at 47, am about to be married for the first time age 50, and I read books about solo female kayakers in their 60s and 70s paddling around Vancouver Island on which I plan my own trip in 10 years, and I’m still healthy, have young kids, a well respected and lovely fiancé, so I’m incredibly grateful to be alive, and don’t really care how old I look, despite still believeing from a child actually, that I’m ugly looking.
But we still sit here on the sofa genuinely astonished that the bloke off First Dates is ‘our age’ when he looks 60
. We deluded ourselves !
It’s true what our elderly re,stickers used to say to us as kids though. “I might be 60 my little granddaughter but I still only feel 18 inside”.
I still feel 28.