I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and can solve anything, no matter how trivial.

Please enter my advice clinic where you will find kindly Agony Aunt services. My rules and solutions are mostly as follows:

1. Lie Down
2. No Guests
3. No One is Too Fat or Too Thin
4. No One Gets Told Off

Maybe I will have a mural of you all across my shoulders?

With Else, angel fish, bastard cat and the dark lord in training included, obviously. I wouldn't want the dark lord in training to be mad with me because I left him out.

hellen so glad to see you!

Have you any wine on you? If so mine's a pint!

Helmut nice to meet you! Glad that you're planning to be drunk soon!

Don't worry about betraying the confidence and making friend cross because you have all of us new thriends in Thighland now!

OH FUCK I HAVEN’T GOT A SLANKET. Am I still allowed in? I’m lying down and have been for two hours, I’m getting up to forage for food. My ‘partner’ is too busy dancing with my small dictator/dark lord person.

Hello! I have a problem. For maximum relaxation, I like to be lying down in bed. But when I have a cup of tea next to the bed, I want to be able to drink it whilst still lying down. I've yet to find a way to achieve this without spilling the tea down my neck and onto the pillow. Also, whilst considering my options and trying to muster the energy to sit up, I often find the tea cools to a sub-optimal temperature. What can I do?

Please can I seek Thigh wisdom. I am stressed about a job I may not even get (interview next week). I am already lying down. Is there anything else you suggest?

I've had another cunning plan, Helmut. On our last thread we made a range of greeting cards as an attempt to raise money for Thighland. Nakedscientist came up with some fabulous leaving cards. Give us your office address and we'll all send one to your friend.

Hold on there Project you agreed to have my face on your face and now you want to put Luaa's face over my face on your face.

So I'm just an afterthought between two faces!

That's it. Getting I'm sorry, I'm having your face on my face now.

I'm very humbled your Thighness. I'm only a small elf so I'm sure I'll just fit on your cheek

come that's an easy one, syphon the tea out of a nice closed insulated cup. I've got one, it's ace. Failing that, tea in small jug, funnel.

come have you tried a child's beaker I'm a bit out of practice with these and hope they can hold hot drinks too?

If not then put wine in instead.

thigh but you’re in the middle of a face sandwich. Everyone knows the best bit of a sandwich is in the middle.

Hey thigh what did I do to make you reject my face? I feel you are gay for Getting now and I am chopped liver!

Hey speaking of liver, Klept can you jot me down for a new one for you next organ harvesting networking event please?

Thank you! I will try these options, I think the beaker is probably safest.

Bag do not panic!

Carry on lying down and think of it this way - if you do get the job you may have MUCH less time for snacking and failing at life!

Never forget you are aiming for no improvement or even better reverse improvement so its win/win get the job or not!

Ok, I'm going to have to pass an edict.

Everybody has everybody's face tattooed on their face. The whole face, we've left RL behind anyway.

Bag just be yourself and you’ll be fine. It’s best to state up front that your interests are lying down, eating monster munch and harvesting organs (I assume they are?)

Bag remember to wear a slanket to the interview. You'll be more yourself if you're comfortable.

I dunno thigh. I knew a guy who had his mum’s face tattooed on his chest. Just think about the fun that would be for your sexual partners. I just don’t want to rule that option out.

Yay everybody's face on our faces!!

Who said they could do this for us? I am really dying for mine done now!!

Reg of course you can stay without a Slanket but it is in your own best interests to order one from Amazon ASAP just so you can be REALLY comfortable whilst snacking!

Dangly the very next liver is yours mate. Is it too early in the week for vodka d'ya think? I've had a particularly trying day involving spreadsheets.

Reginald good job you're here, did someone steal your slanket? Your services as a tattooist are much required. Naked has offered tippex if there are errors, which obvs there won't be.

Can I just have my face tattooed on my face? Only side on, like a Picasso.

I love it here. It's completely hatstand.

Klept thank you so much for pencilling me in for the next liver!

Don't worry about getting that vodka poured - no rules in Thighland and also ... we are all down for new livers so is fine on every level of OK!