Can I speak to HR about my anxiety over colleague's health?

[SilverRingEarrings]

I share an office with another woman and have done for 5 years. She has documented health problems concerning her lungs and breathing. She's been hospitalised at least once each winter.

This year has been particularly bad but she is still coming into work. She looks ghastly and her breathing is very laboured. She admits to feeling unwell.

I am really, really scared of her collapsing and having to try and deal with that situation on my own. It keeps me awake at night. I have never seen anyone so poorly that hasn't been in a care home or hospital tbh.

Our manager is in the same wing but isn't always there. I could be on my own when something happened to her

Will HR be able to do anything? I unofficially raised it before and was told she cannot be sent home.

"How can she not cope with dialling 999? It’s three numbers.
confused"
Really, you're confused? So the op should just dial 999 and then go back to her work, sipping her tea.
Op, I realise I am adding to your anxiety but if you did call 999 someone would need to be on hand to get the paramedics to the right part of the building. You'd need to consider how to manage that without leaving her. Maybe have reception number on your phone.
Some posters on this thread are amazingly naive.

Presumably if the number to dial was longer you'd understand the issue

The OP knows that she is not necessarily the best person to deal with it if her colleague is suddenly ill. She is suggesting asking for a move for her and her colleague to where there are more people around. So instead of just the OP, colleague would have a lot of people around for help if the worst happens.

This in some people’s heads makes the OP selfish? Instead of trying to ensure her colleague has more confident & calm people nearby she should take it all on her own shoulders, knowing that that could result in a less-well-dealt-with emergency?

🤷‍♀️ I’m baffled.

There was a similar problem at an old job where a colleague was bleeding and messing furniture (office chairs and stuff, bleeding from his behind ) and would not do anything, even when his line manager said that he was worried about him. Occupational health were involved but they couldn't force him to seek medical help. It wasn't until he was rushed to hospital outside of work hours that he got any help. Unfortunately he did pass away (cancer).

It's not your place to go to HR, I don't think. Talk to your line manager about your worries about your colleague, framed around your concern for HER health. Obviously your well-being while at work is also important, and your line manager is also the right person to talk to about your anxiety over this. Just don't expect immediate happy results - your colleague can't be forced into anything.

@JudgeRulesNutterButter - so am I!!

if you did call 999 someone would need to be on hand to get the paramedics to the right part of the building. You'd need to consider how to manage that without leaving her. Maybe have reception number on your phone

Why could op not leave her? She doesn’t have to stay with her. She simply goes to the front of the building to get the paramedics or contact reception or shout down the corridor for help.

Fair enough. I'd not want to leave someone who had collapsed alone. I'm guessing the op feels the same because of her compassion.

There must be a trained first aider in your company, find out who it is, have them on speed dial. Speak to HR. There’s always a chance that any one of your colleagues, or yourself could suddenly fall ill or have an accident at work. I think sometimes the worry about something happening is worse than the event. I have the sick phobia and avoid very drunk people because of this, however I do look after people if they are sick, some instinctive part of my brain takes over and deals with it —I just don’t eat for the rest of the day—

I haven't seen much compassion from op tbf, I think if there was less focus from the op on how she is affected by raspy breathing and being on her own iIF something happened this thread might have gone very differently.

Why does leaving someone in order to get help signal lack of compassion?

You have had some harsh responses OP. I can see why this is making you anxious. I don't think you sound horrible, just anxious. Waiting for the paramedics to arrive when someone is seriously ill, thinking you might need to do CPR etc is scary. Some people are better in those situations than others. Some people go into a blind panic, some freeze and some do the job well.

I would talk to your manager for sure.

I do think it would be a good idea to have some First Aid training. Not just for work, I think everyone should do it.

It's probably the right thing to to do. But in that situation id be torn. I'd struggle to know what to do for the best. I'd question my own judgement and worry about the consequences of my decisions. At worst, she would die alone while I was getting a colleague. I suspect the op is similar.

The 999 call handler would talk her through what to do/going to get the paramedics. They don’t just say “thanks love, I’ll send them around now, bye”

I get that. You don't get that it's not the length of the phone number that is worrying the op though. Which is a little strange

Call handlers are used to people being in a panic, if you’re ever in that position then just focus on what they are saying and follow instructions. That’s all you can do, little point worrying about it if you’re not prepared to take a first aid course.

I haven’t said it’s just the number.

You said you’d be worried what to do. I said that that call handler would guide you.

How is that making out it’s just about the number?

Have we contemplated the possibility that she may have a contagious lung infection?

No @justilou1

We are all all to busy calling the OP scum of the earth it seems

Apologies if it wasn't you. Someone said how can you be anxious about dialling 999,its just three numbers, or similar

Well yes, I said that. It’s not all I’ve said though, is it?.

Can we not just accept that we are all different?!! Whilst some people would not be worried about working with someone who sounds as if they're going to collapse at any moment (because they would 'deal' with it) to others it would be deeply distressing and worrying!!

I hate that some posters have assumed that because the OP has concerns relating to how she can cope with her colleagues illness that she isn't concerned about the individual herself.

As though we can only have one way of thinking and feeling about a situation.

The fact that she worries about how she could best help her colleague shows that it's about her colleague.

Like as a parent of a sick child we are anxious both for the child but also that do the right thing.

So enough with the aggressive accusations.

I’ll accept it, lunch is getting cold anyway..

Well said @BuildAParsnip!!! :-)