Can I speak to HR about my anxiety over colleague's health?

[SilverRingEarrings]

I share an office with another woman and have done for 5 years. She has documented health problems concerning her lungs and breathing. She's been hospitalised at least once each winter.

This year has been particularly bad but she is still coming into work. She looks ghastly and her breathing is very laboured. She admits to feeling unwell.

I am really, really scared of her collapsing and having to try and deal with that situation on my own. It keeps me awake at night. I have never seen anyone so poorly that hasn't been in a care home or hospital tbh.

Our manager is in the same wing but isn't always there. I could be on my own when something happened to her

Will HR be able to do anything? I unofficially raised it before and was told she cannot be sent home.

Why do you think her health problems are all about you? Keep your beak out.

-Make sure you know who the first aiders are in the office and how to contact them should you need to (you should probably know this anyway, irrespective of this situation)
-Call 999 if anything happens

Anything else is between this lady and management / HR / occupational health.

Also, has she ever collapsed at work before? You don’t mention it so is it possible you’re worrying unnecessarily about something that might never happen? The only time someone ever collapsed in my office it was the healthy 21 year old intern who stood up too quickly and who apparently has low blood pressure (she was fine by the way)!

They are not all about me, but I reckon there is a high chance that she may require medical assistance while I am the only other person there.

Quite the opposite of poking my beak in.

It will be an awkward conversation if I asked her, but I think I will need to do it.

I’d be careful of that, unless your her doctor she might complain about you

I hope she tells you to mind your fucking business.

Great- so in the event she collapses I'll also mind my own fucking business then, yeah?

You need to leave your job. HTH.

No - help her without making it all about me me me.

@SilverRingEarrings I had a similar situation at work only my colleague was "falling asleep". Turns out she was actually passing out due to a serious heart problem, she could have keeled over at any point and to make things worse she was still driving to work. I raised it with my manager who saw her "falling asleep", in turn my manager told her to get to her GP or she'd get a referral to OHS. Her GP sent her to straight to hospital where she was kept in for a long time until she was stable enough to go home.

Rather than speaking to HR I'd speak to your manager and find out if there are any other options to put your mind at ease

If she becomes really bad, collapses, you can just call 999, what else can do if you're there on your own. What would a first aider do? help her sit up, make her feel comfortable or if shes on the floor place her upright or in the recovery position. She could collapse in the toilet, theres only so much anyone could do on their own. If I knew someone well I'd say I am concerned about them, are they alright.

It's a difficult one Op. If it was me I would actively show concern to/for her and try and plan between you what the best thing to do is.
However maybe you should also be looking to help for yourself and your anxieties. I say this as someone who has suffered similarly

She's a red herring op, your reaction to this is not normal. Speak to hr of course, but the problem here isn't her health it's your over-worrying about simply having to phone 999/get help, something all people should be capable of.

I think it can be quite distressing to see someone struggling to breathe. Personally I would send an e-mail to your manager and copy HR in outlining your concerns. Some people will only act once serious concerns are in writing and saved forever on e-mail.

You need to go to your GP and get some medication or CBT for your anxiety. If she collapses then just phone 999, it’s not a big issue.

The only thing you can realistically do to improve this situation is to get help for your anxiety.

The only purpose of HR is to prevent the company being sued. They have no other reason to exist.

So long as you know how to call an ambulance, (as you are not comfortable with any first aid) then I cannot really see what else you want the company to do.

I think the OP is getting a bit of a kicking here.

I would probably be in a constant “heightened state” if I was in an office one on one as yes - like it or not you are first responsible person if she collapses. And should it happen you’d more than likely flee, freeze or act in autopilot but to be frank who knows and also we don’t know what impact it could have on her life - or otherwise.

It is very scary to work with a colleague who has uncontrolled health issues (for whatever reason) and “just call 999”...well it’s not that easy. It’s uosetting on so many levels; your human compassion for the person, the fear that you will fail to help properly if it’s needed or make it worse.

I feel for you OP; I worked with a lass who had epilepsy and her GP changed her medication that led to her fits returning, 999 were called to the office most weeks sometimes more than once. It touched everyone as it was so horrible, for her, for colleagues....

So in short, I would flag to your manager and HR but verbally. You know you’re “poking your nose in” but you’re scared for her and to a degree yourself.

That’s normal.

Are you actually concerned for your colleagues ill health might be affecting her, or is it just how it might inconvenience you if you have to call 999 one day? The poor woman might HAVE to work.

Why is she still working if she's so unwell? Surely she should be signed off and receiving sick pay?

Isn’t SSP about £100 a week or something? There isn’t anything in the OP’s post to suggest this lady isn’t able to do her job, so why should she have to be signed off.

OP, is there a reason why it needs to be you who shares the office with her? Hard to understand without knowing the layout of your workplace.

My colleague's ill health is directly impacting my ability to work. I can hear her rasping and rattling. I am worried about her as she is clearly very ill. I am worried that it will fall to me to look after her.

I am often the only person within talking distance. I don't like it. I am being put in a position of responsibility I haven't asked for.

But apparently ignoring that is the best course of action

What’s with all the people telling this OP to keep her nose out? You all save lives solo before breakfast and cure cancer as an encore, do you?

The OP has a legitimate worry that she might at any moment be the person responsible for her colleague’s life. I think it’s reasonable that she’s finding that stressful. If she didn’t give a shit then that would surely be weirder?

Whoops, x-post with you OP

You sound rather young, silly and selfish. If and it's a big if, your colleague actually collapsed all you would have to actually do is call for help and let others take charge. Not really much to ask is it. I think the real issue you have here is your own anxiety which is just irrational in this instance.

Seriously, why don’t people think it’s a big deal to need to call 999 for someone and potentially help keep them alive? Am I missing something?