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I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 21/02/2019 18:07

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

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Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 21:16

Royal again. I can't help thinking that if you stopped refering to yourself as Fatty and started to refer to yourself as Royal things would look brighter for you

Iamdanish · 27/02/2019 21:18

Project 👋

For anyone not properly fed by their servants, I still have left over open sandwiches, I would swap for flying pigs or a bathtub.

Re. Money can I suggest you plant money trees, start now and your summer will be care free.

Helen hi, would you NOT tell on me if I send bones for your police dog?

Thigh What a beautiful realm you have 😄.

Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 21:18

Thigh. We don't have any statues in the wonderful land of ours.

Just sayin'

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 21:20

Lostara wise words Project! Brava!

If this macro human can sleep outside without getting stolened it can navigate it's way home using a sextant and the wind.

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HerRoyalFattyness · 27/02/2019 21:21

Gettingnowhere
Of course!
Dog walking is an excellent idea. Now just to find someone who will walk the dogs for me so i can stay led down.

DanglyTassles · 27/02/2019 21:23

lostara it may be to your benefit if your micro-being stays at camping forever and then you will not have spend another day lifting a finger to raise it.

The small-you will enjoy an extended holiday and you could just go visit it sometimes when your car is fixed.

So much more time in your life for snacking and lying down etc

Luaa · 27/02/2019 21:23

I have a confession to make. Tonight I went outside. The sun was not shining. I did not lay in the garden, I went for a run. I feel that you will all be so disappointed in me, it's SO un-thigh!

As I was running (very slowly jogging) an empty monster munch packet drifted across the pavement in front of me and I felt one of my thisters was sending me a sign - DO NOT RUN! GO HOME AND LAY DOWN! but sadly I ignored the sign and carried on. It was a horrible run too. I should have listened to the monster munchy sign. I have learnt a valuable lesson today.

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 21:24

That's the spirit Royal! You've found your inner Thigh.

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Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 21:25

Oh Royal, I feel our inner thigh is rubbing off on you already

ProjectGainsborough · 27/02/2019 21:25

Inspired by this this thread I am watching Silence of the Lambs.

It’s not helping. Jodie Foster looks so very YOUNG all of a sudden. I am so VERY OLD.

hellenbackagen · 27/02/2019 21:26

luuaa wtf?

do not go outside. ever.
the only reason i ever go outside is for a run. but its a good run. with trees and sun and fresh air and stuff and its nice.
going outside for Any Other Reason should be banned.

Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 21:27

Project Jodie Foster had young fresh flesh and looked delicious. You're keeping yourself safe from cannibals. You've obviously done very well so far

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 21:27

PROJECT no one is too old or too young in Thighland. I mean, look at Clarice - she jogs. Do you want to jog? Exactly.

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LostaraYil · 27/02/2019 21:29

Thank you for your advice! I will let my human find its own way home and make the most of my car being broken down by spending more time lying down and eating snacks. Genius!

hellenbackagen · 27/02/2019 21:29

im on the reight expensive bourbon and its shit. (dp paid like £40 for it from the whiskey exchange)

id rather have the £5 baileys from aldi. help. me.

LostaraYil · 27/02/2019 21:33

I also confess to going outside, but only to lie down on the trampoline to enjoy the sunshine (thanks Thigh). I let the dogs do the running.

ProjectGainsborough · 27/02/2019 21:33

hellen just keep drinking. That’s the main thing

ProjectGainsborough · 27/02/2019 21:35

Letter is giving Barry some great ideas on how to run meetings though

ProjectGainsborough · 27/02/2019 21:36

Lecter, LECTER. Damn it Barry.

thislido · 27/02/2019 21:41

Lostara if you need to drive, perhaps to obtain snacks, open the window, it will clear the smell and solve your problem. Thigh has created nice weather to enable open windows.

I have tested this approach with the smell of leaking radiator fluid. Everything was fine.

If you a hippy you can substitute by burning some joss sticks.

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 21:47

Hellen i have to correct you. You said you work for the police, you don't, you work for us. You confessed you were only in the police force for the sex and pension.

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Luaa · 27/02/2019 21:52

Hellen I know, I know. There was fresh air and trees, and sunlight, it just wasn't sunny and warm anymore. Which was ok actually, I don't like running in the warm.

Now I'm home and grumpy with my husband. I've told him to just leave me alone and give me chocolate and salt and vinegar McCoys for the next few days and I'll be ok again after that. I never used to get this hormonal when I was younger. And I'm not even old! (Not that anyone is in thighland)

Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 21:53

Speaking of chopping people into bits, has anyone heard from Klepto? Dangly?

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 21:57

Running..........

Words fail me.....

Dangly? Any advice for these heathens?

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Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 22:02

I only run away from crying babies, Thigh. That is sensible

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