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I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 21/02/2019 18:07

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

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Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 20:26

You also have to accuse people of being Second in Command to Oriental dictators, Thigh. You do that all by yourself

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 20:27

Thislido exactly, I'm panicking about the promotional slankets. I'm crayoning money as fast as i can.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 20:28

Exactly getting i do that all belone.

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ProjectGainsborough · 27/02/2019 20:30

Hello danish!

Hellen isn’t the way to ingratiate yourself with the police to roll your trousers up and expose your left nipple? Seemed to work for me last Friday night. (Well, at least I wasn’t arrested.)

Reg you are beautiful.

I have a problem. How do I stop real life n shiz people from talking to me? Barry has helped at work, but my family continue to expect me to ‘interact’ with them after working hours. In fact the dark lord is calling now. How do I convince them I have nothing left to give?

thislido · 27/02/2019 20:30

Where’s Klept with those organs? I want to hear how the “networking” went.

thislido · 27/02/2019 20:31

By giving nothing, project. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

thislido · 27/02/2019 20:32

Also you can activate Barry’s family setting.

thislido · 27/02/2019 20:33

thigh just do one note nicely. One of us must have access to a “work” photocopier.

hellenbackagen · 27/02/2019 20:34

Dunno project. Might try it. Felt I work for them? Guess rolling up those cargo troos and exposing a nipple would get me noticed by management?

Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 20:34

Good point This

Naked, can a kiddy chemistry set be used to make a shrinking potion?

HerRoyalFattyness · 27/02/2019 20:36

Oh wise and powerful thigh i need your help.

I woke at 2.30 am and could not get back to sleep. I'm now so tired I'm not tired. Im also hungry but DP is daring to play xbox with our 10 year old instead of feeding me.

What should i do?

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 20:39

Thislido i think as Project is dealing with the Dark Lord in Training he will not be abated by "nothing" Project you must give him all he demands.

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Gettingnowhere · 27/02/2019 20:39

Oh This, your advice was flawless up to now.

Have you ever experienced the torture that is a work photocopier? With all those buttons that do nothing but flash up error messages? The chewing up of paper and screaming when you try to retrieve small scraps of the hapless documents? Like wrestling a stick from a psychotic dog? The printing two hundred copies of the same test sheet?

It's easier to train a troop of adolescent monkeys to copy money than it is to use an "office photocopier".

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 20:41

Project we both know the zeniths and nadirs of the Dark Lord in Training's power. It's futile to resist.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 20:44

Getting you're obsessed with monkies - is this because you are simosexual?

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DanglyTassles · 27/02/2019 20:44

I am here o thigh.

I would never run away from you my th'adoration knoweth no bounds.

Also you are right, I cannot run with or without my slanket, I am always at my peak lying down so I just stop here!

I agree that Reg is HOT!

thislido · 27/02/2019 20:45

I have done vast amounts of illicit photocopying in my time. The trick is to arrive early when the machine is cool and well rested. And to scan and then print rather than copy, they prefer printing. I’m freelance now though, so no copying for me...

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 20:46

Fatty interesting dilemma. You need snax but your "husband" needs to be killed for playing on an Xbox when he is over the age of 1.

Do you have a slanket?

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ProjectGainsborough · 27/02/2019 20:48

Dear Fatty (if I may call you that) shave you tried screaming at the top of your lungs until they do what you want?

Seems to work for the dark lord

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 20:48

Reginald is hot, i can't remember if she has a "husband" or we already killed him?

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thislido · 27/02/2019 20:48

Fatty, we must get to the root of the issue. What was keeping to awake at 2.30am? What is stopping you from retiring to bed with Monster Mmunch now? You will be tired if you lie down.

ProjectGainsborough · 27/02/2019 20:50

^shave. Apologies Fatty. Don’t shave anything. I meant ‘have’z

thislido · 27/02/2019 20:50

Has Barry’s family mode fallen short?

pineapplebryanbrown · 27/02/2019 20:50

Ah, my dear Dangly never break free, we are now conjoined.

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HerRoyalFattyness · 27/02/2019 20:51

I screamed. I now have egg and cheese on toast.
I can't go to bed now because I'm not tired.
I woke at half 2 because my body clearly hates me. Probably something to do with the antidepressants I'm on, but they're making me lose weight so I'm not moaning too much about those...

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