I can offer you solutions to all your problems *Title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have a problem? Bring it to Thighland and we will solve it for you.

After we have solved your problem we will nurse you back to full health and change your life for the better.....forever

Where is Klepto with our organs?

Thigh, I'll have you know I am strictly Agalmatophilic

Excellent Fatty, well done. A hot bath and a soothing cup of gin might help, if I remember back to my days of antidepressants.

lido Barry is powerless against the dark lord. I wonder if he would respond to a hot bath and a cup of soothing gin?

Fatty firstly, change your username. Rule 3 of Thighland is no one is too fat or too thin. Here we worship snax, lying down, doing nothing and fucking around in Thighland.

It's thighrepy.

I can't go to bed now because I'm not tired.

You can in Thighland.

Project, perhaps get some opium, that’s how they kept the babies and toddlers quiet in the mills so their mums could work.

Not that I’m suggesting you should work, obvs.

getting excellent use of ‘algmataphilic’.

I had to google it. I particularly enjoyed the image search

lido where does one get opium? Don’t we have a pharmacist in thighland?

But... ive always been fatty!
Fatty stays. I don't mind being called fatty.

I am led down. This is good yes? Lying down?

Lying down is excellent Royal. May I call you Royal?

Nothing came up for algmataphilic, it's made up.

Like sepiasexual.

Dearest thigh I am never ever ever leaving thighland. It is my destiny and my spritual home.

Fatty I admire your skills at procuring a tasty snack! Screaming is very good for the mind and soul!

I do hope you get to sleep through tonight and can think of a few more problems for us to solve tomorrow. We know all the answers to all problems ever invented here so you are in thafe hands.

Got it, vg Getting i like that one.

Particularly the statue of Priapus.

I’m sure I was prescribed some once in France.

I think we established Barry was a pharmacist. Failing that, the Dark Web. Just crayon yourself some Bitcoin and Bob’s your relative!

Fatty, royal, I'll answer to anything!
I work with babies, so im very used to just being poked at when they want me.

The term is Agalmatophilia. I had to swap the last "a" for a "c" to make my sentence work

Project Yes, yes we do have a pharmacist, if only we could remember who it was. Hopefully not someone we've murdered. Sometimes i wonder if we're a bit.....aggressive?

Almagataphilic is an entirely made up word. agalmatophilic is the right one.

Blame Barry. I’ve delegated all typing to him

Bob does have 3 nipples doesn't he? So is probs all your relatives rolled into one.

Well, Royal that's why you can't sleep! You're surrounded by babies. Even if you don't have to tend to them at night, your "hormones" and "body" knows it is surrounded by babies all day and responds. It doesn't care that it's night. It says "Tend to the babies!!"" I still run when I hear a baby crying... In the opposite direction.
Have you considered getting rid of the babies and starting a dog walking business?

I don’t hold with french pharmacists. Far too keen to stick things up your bottom.

I am seeking sanctuary in Thighland as I have so many problems! Mainly my car smells of burning clutch and I don't know how I will collect my macrohuman from a camping trip tomorrow... I will also have to do rl shizz like phoning a garage. I'm putting it off by lying down wrapped in slankets, with dogs and wine and ice cream. I bring offerings of gin and salt and vinegar crisps (sorry, out of monster munch) and beg humbly for some of your wisdom.

If the human is big enough to camp, it is big enough to find its way home. Surely it has a compass? Character building, innit?

Project that's the French for you. May i also caution you against Dutch ones. They are not polite. Viz "you are very fat so I'm going to use a longer needle". Clearly blind as well as thick.