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Original poster

Teenager paying for takeaway

191 replies

dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 14:48

Hi all!

Interested to see what others think of this first world scenario.

DS is 15. He gets pocket money every week, which sometimes he uses to buy a joint take away with friends on a Friday night ( when we aren't having a take away ). His money, his choice what he uses it for.

Tonight we have friends coming over and we're getting in pizzas ( take away). DS1 is currently out with friends and has one staying tonight. Originally they were going to be out past the point we'd be eating and would have sorted themselves out ( ordered own pizza later or eaten in town).

They're now going to be back in time and DS checked whether they'd be able to have pizza with us, which I said yes.

DH thinks that DS is being really cheeky. Effectively is expecting us to pay for something he was going to pay for himself- it's his choice to be out ( arranged before we arranged to have people round).

My stance is that we're having a take away. If DS was at home as normal he'd be having the take away with us- paid for by us. His friend is staying as our guest- so we feed him. I feel that even if DS missed the take away time with us then I'd probably give him money to sort himself out for tea.

So, after reading that essay, what would be your opinion on this?

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 20/02/2019 18:32

I’d be flippin chuffed my teenager was bringing a mate back and would even consider sharing a meal (pizza or not) with us and other ‘boring grown ups’. I’d get them pizza.

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 18:36

Drip feed?! Why did I have to put that detail in my OP? It's totally irrelevant. If I later stated he treated his bio child differently then I'd get your point, but he doesn't!

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 20/02/2019 18:39

I can’t believe this thread. Your poor son.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

15 year olds Families
Holidayshopping · 20/02/2019 18:55

I actually couldn’t be with someone that could treat his child like that-bio child or not. It is deeply unattractive. You sound like you are dreading that he’s going to have a go about it to you later whereas if I were you, I would be furious with him!

cuppycakey · 20/02/2019 19:18

I was just about to ask if DS was your DH child.

I feel very sorry for your DS. I don't understand why you would live with someone like your DH.

Crunchymum · 20/02/2019 19:31

Well it's good to know he's an equal cunt to his biological son Shock

TearingUpMyHeart · 20/02/2019 19:35

Gross. What a horrendous attitude. Despite what you claim, it is no surprise to hear he is a stepson.

jcq17 · 20/02/2019 19:39

Pay for the pizza is this serious!! He's your child!

RestingBitchFaced · 20/02/2019 19:43

I was also wondering if it was his biological son, I thought not by his attitude -awful

Margot33 · 20/02/2019 19:45

Of course feed your son and his friend. If you were cooking you'd feed them dinner. If youre buying take away, it would be so mean to exclude them both. They're children still.

Thisnamechanger · 20/02/2019 19:49

Your DH sounds mean and weird

Yeah, inclined to agree with this

tartantroosers · 20/02/2019 20:13

He sounds grim. Does he have any redeeming features? I regularly feed an assortment of dS's mates as do their parents when the roles are reversed. No one EVER keeps score. And that's just friends. His stepdad does? FFS.

Pinkiii · 20/02/2019 20:25

Some of the threads i read on here make me think I grew up in a totally different kind of family to some posters ( which i am so thankful for) something like this would never have been a question for my mum growing up and for anyone else in my family.

Ontheboardwalk · 20/02/2019 20:55

The thought of a step father charging a 15 year old and his guest for food in his own house makes me feel sad

Is your ‘D’H going to charge your friends coming over for their share of the pizza as well?

Daddylonglegs1965 · 20/02/2019 21:05

My son is 15 (eats like a horse) and I wouldn’t dream of not getting him and his friend a pizza if we were having a take away anyway.
I was quite shocked when a friend of a friend said her son the same age was staying at a friends house for a sleepover at his friends insistence as he is an only child and often wants company and he was told to go home for money for a takeaway by his friends mum as the friends mum wasn’t paying to feed them both.

JustHereForThePooStories · 20/02/2019 21:10

Am I really reading a thread where a mother is questioning if she’s responsible for paying for her child’s food?

Floralnomad · 20/02/2019 21:18

This thread is surreal , in what universe is pocket money given to provide actual meals , surely if it is used for food it should be for extra treats on top of the minimum 3 meals a day that parents provide . Sorry OP but you need to give your head a wobble if you think your husband is being remotely reasonable or amusing .

thegreylady · 20/02/2019 22:31

It’s telling that I, like several others, wondered if your dh was the boy’s bio dad. I know you said he treats them just the same but I bet dc2 is quite a bit younger.
Be mindful OP and buy the pizza for everyone.

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 23:22

@Floralnomad - you know what's surreal about this thread is how people have twisted what I said. I said DH SAID this , I didn't at any point say he wasn't GOING TO BUY the pizza for his DS or his friend, but everyone decided that was the case.

Yes, I don't understand his thinking, hence the reason I started this thread to see if others could, but I know he would never not provide for DS etc

Yes I think he has a grumpy outlook on life at times, but I know he acknowledges it and works hard on it, his Dad is much the same. He took on my son as his own, even when his own father couldn't be bothered. For that I will totally stick up for him and am angry against those that decided to use the " oh he's not the bio dad " brush.

And for those of you telling me I can't stick up for DS, if DH had in any way treated DS differently today or any other day I would have walked away without a backwards glance. DH totally knows this.

OP posts:
Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 23:26

@Floralnomad - sorry but I really don't understand the thinking of pocket money paying for a take away with his friends? Why is that such a problem? He's wanting to spend his money on that! I can't afford to give him pocket money, provide a meal for the rest of us and give him extra money for a take away! So he knows if he wants that treat then he has to use his pocket money on it

Why is that so wrong? He can eat 3 meals a day with us but chooses not to!

OP posts:
BrendaUrie · 20/02/2019 23:29

I keep thinking about this thread. I hope you start to stand up to your bully husband soon and put your son first.

7yo7yo · 20/02/2019 23:34

Maybe you can’t see what a lot of posters on the outside seem to be seeing op.

Your husband seems to be a controlling, tight, fuckwad creep who is such a cunt that even you don’t know what is normal behaviour.
Because this isn’t.
He is probably treating your son (his SS) differently but you can’t see that.
I feel sorry for your son.

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 23:35

I did @BrendaUrie , but you know, you read what you want.

We all enjoyed our evening, DS and friend included.

OP posts:
Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 23:38

@7yo7yo - he made a comment. That is all. He's a miserable git at times but never stops me or our boys doing anything. He's never laid a finger on any of us, is the proudest dad in the world and is very supportive of me.

I'll say it again, he's a very miserable git at times, but never does anything to show it.

OP posts:
1poppy1 · 20/02/2019 23:43

My DS spent some of his pocket money on buying a McDonalds with his friend earlier in the week. I think that's pretty normal, e.g. using pocket money to buy treats. If his friends had been here when we were ordering a takeaway, then we would have bought for them too.

I think people are being a bit harsh on the OP, surely we are here to compare opinions on parenting, without being judged so fiercely.

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