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Original poster

Teenager paying for takeaway

191 replies

dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 14:48

Hi all!

Interested to see what others think of this first world scenario.

DS is 15. He gets pocket money every week, which sometimes he uses to buy a joint take away with friends on a Friday night ( when we aren't having a take away ). His money, his choice what he uses it for.

Tonight we have friends coming over and we're getting in pizzas ( take away). DS1 is currently out with friends and has one staying tonight. Originally they were going to be out past the point we'd be eating and would have sorted themselves out ( ordered own pizza later or eaten in town).

They're now going to be back in time and DS checked whether they'd be able to have pizza with us, which I said yes.

DH thinks that DS is being really cheeky. Effectively is expecting us to pay for something he was going to pay for himself- it's his choice to be out ( arranged before we arranged to have people round).

My stance is that we're having a take away. If DS was at home as normal he'd be having the take away with us- paid for by us. His friend is staying as our guest- so we feed him. I feel that even if DS missed the take away time with us then I'd probably give him money to sort himself out for tea.

So, after reading that essay, what would be your opinion on this?

OP posts:
MerdedeBrexit · 20/02/2019 16:37

What BrendaUrie said - he shouldn't have to use his pocket-money for take-aways anyway. Crikey, I'd go spare if my husband was as mean as yours, OP, I couldn't live with it at all!

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 16:42

@BrendaUrie - DS choses to spend his pocket money on a take away, that's up to him. It's what his friends like doing together. If DS wants to save his money, he eats with the rest of the family. He's not a shopper, nor are any of his friends, so most of his money goes on food.

If I just gave him money every time he fancied a take away he'd take total advantage and want it most nights!

OP posts:
DerelictWreck · 20/02/2019 16:44

Is your DH your DS' bio dad?

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Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 16:44

I totally agree @ShartGoblin ! I'm pleased he didn't just turn up as there would be no food left for anyone else Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 16:48

@DerelictWreck - he's not, however DH would have just the same thought about DS2 ( who is his biological son).

It is just thoughts though everyone. DH might be miserably minded , but does suck it up and puts up with it. I just find it hard to understand anyone who thinks like that, but he knows that! Normally I can see where he's coming from, on this occasion I couldn't

OP posts:
ShartGoblin · 20/02/2019 16:52

I suppose from the perspective of your DH he might be miffed that your son didn't want to spend time with you both until there was food involved. I get it I suppose but I remember being a teenager and of course I wanted to spend time with my mates more and of course delicious food would tempt me back.

Tbh as an adult I quite often reply to invites with "Are we getting food?"... god I want pizza now. Great now I have to order takeaway for tea, good thing it's payday!

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 17:01

DS isn't coming home earlier due to the lure of pizza, it's just because his plans have changed so he'll now be back before we eat. I do wonder if that's how DH is seeing it though

OP posts:
BrendaUrie · 20/02/2019 17:02

Derelict I was just about to ask the same question.

Not a surprise at all that he isn't his bio son. Sad

BrendaUrie · 20/02/2019 17:02

FGS woman. But your son a pizza and stop letting your DH be a controlling dick.

BrendaUrie · 20/02/2019 17:02

Buy*

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 17:04

Are you reading my responses @BrendaUrie ?

OP posts:
Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 17:06

@BrendaUrie - where did you read that DS won't be eating with us?

OP posts:
notacooldad · 20/02/2019 17:10

Of course we would buy the pizza, we would get coke and extra garlic bread for them! They are his mates!
DH is being ridiculous.

ssd · 20/02/2019 17:20

Just read he's not his bio son

Poor bugger, I feel for him

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 17:22

Seriously @ssd?! Even though I said he has as equally grumpy opinions about his bio son? Come on!

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 20/02/2019 17:23

Tight hubby. Buy the boys pizza.

LovingLola · 20/02/2019 17:24

How old is your second boy?

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 17:24

I'd be just like you @notacooldad! I always have biscuits, crisps etc in for DS's mates

OP posts:
GregoryPeckingDuck · 20/02/2019 17:25

Your husband thinks it’s cheeky for a child to expect his parents to feed him Shock

Original poster
dontknowwhattodo80 · 20/02/2019 17:25

10 @LovingLola

OP posts:
ssd · 20/02/2019 17:30

Yes seriously

He's got an arse of a stepdad and a mum who doesn't seem to know her own mind

Crunchymum · 20/02/2019 17:30

Was just going to post to ask if the 15yo is his.

Way to drip feed OP.

Greensleeves · 20/02/2019 17:32

Your DH is being a dick. My stance is that if the boys want to eat with us, they need to be here when we are serving food (we do let them know when this will be, if they're planning to be out). If a meal is on offer at home, but they would rather eat out, they pay for it. If they'd rather wait and heat something up/make a cheese toastie when they get home, that's also fine. If we are ordering a takeaway, then they are included! even if they're out, if it's something that can be eaten later I will order for them.

I'd be pleased that he and his friend want to come back and eat with you, and would make sure I got in the stuff they would like. But I miss having my boys around all the time now they're teens and out a lot, and am always chuffed when they want to hang out here with their friends.

LovingLola · 20/02/2019 17:36

And how does he treat you OP? Is he ‘grumpy’ with you if you ask for more than he thinks you should be entitled to ?

BrizzleMint · 20/02/2019 18:16

I would, and have, paid for a takeaway for DS and his friends in that situation.

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