can she force this adoption?

[rolypoly85]

My brother has 3 children, one of which has a different mother from the other 2 and he hasn't seen since she was a baby. He has a very close relationship with his other DC.

Mother of his DD was very emotional/unstable/angry/bitter and put up a lot of hoops/emotional blackmail ringing up to 50 times a day etc, he ended up blocking all contact with her. When his DD was 3 years old he wrote letters asking for contact, offering contact centre or supervision from family member etc. He received no replies so went through a mediator, who was also blanked by the mother. Presents and cards for his DD were returned.

DD is now 7 and the mother has asked if he will consent to her being adopted by her partner, who has been with the mother since dd was 2.

Brother does not want to consent to this. Does anyone know much about what happens if he does not consent? Is a court likely to grant the adoption because of the lack of contact between my brother and his dd?

He has been paying maintenance for years and the mother has also kept in contact with our father , dd calls him grandpa.

He's 23.

@AmICrazyorWhat2 - there was significant DV involved. I made it very clear to my solicitor at the time that any contact requests would have to go through the court (I was granted a non-molestation order against him), and would have to be within a contact centre.

He last saw DS when he was 16mo. The only time he's ever reared his ugly head is when he's bored, his latest abused girlfriend has left him, or he fancies slagging me off to all and sundry. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 7 years. He has no actual desire to be part of DS's life, it's nothing more than another means of control to him.

waitrose - totally missed all of this bunfighting and flouncing by OP however thank you thank you for your post on page 1 questioning my sources. This is what I found a few years ago when looking into the possibility of DS being adopted by DH, and I always found the prospect that we couldn't to be depressing and unfair. DS hasn't seen his dad since he was 2 and is now 10. XP won't even agree to changing his name. DH has been there for him for 8 years. I've searched and read every post of yours on this topic and I'm going to contact a lawyer

@TrixieFranklin @PositivelyPERF @WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup

Well. He's just told me his feelings.

Sorry I was out, if thats something you want to do, im more than happy to have that done. Would be a wonderful thing to do 🙂

@WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup Can I have the lottery numbers for the weekend please?!!

OH

MY

GOD.

😁😊😁😁😁

Steve I'm so pleased for you, and glad your son will be your son in legal terms too.

@BertieBotts that's great news!

My Husband adopted our Daughter almost 4 years ago, and has been her Dad for 8! I'm really happy to talk via private message if I can help you in any way.

To echo others, birth father did contest (well agreed at first and then contested when I refused his request to be paid back the £2000 of maintenance he had paid by that point...a whole other thread 🙄) but as he had made no effort to even see my girl and spoke so detrimentally about me and her (the social worker noted he never referred to her by name, always 'the child') in the interviews, the social worker recommended the adoption go ahead and the judge said she could see it was 'absolutely in the best interests of child's name for the adoption to be granted.'

It did take a while, but only because a social worker is needed to conduct the interviews and complete the report and children not at risk are bumped down the list as soon as at risk situations occur (as is absolutely right!) Once the arse was picked up it took about 8 months start to finish.

He has another child by a really wonderful and brave woman that is in the process of being adopted by their step parent at the moment.

By the arse I meant the case

@SimplySteve oh my goodness just caught up! I have a little happy year in my eye for you! Make sure it's followed by the biggest party ever! Congratulations x

@BertieBotts I wish you so much luck! I'm so glad some good had come of this thread. I was beginning to despair!

Eeeek congrats Steve that is a fabby way to start the week!!

I'll PM you Waitrose :)

Just spoke to Social Services, now I'm extremely upset. I shall go make my own thread though.

@SimplySteve I just caught up and went from happy to sad.

Hope all ok- can you link your new thread

@BeautyGoesToBenidorm

That's what I meant by a good reason not to have contact. I'm sorry that you've had to go through this with your ex and can totally see that you're protecting your child.

The RP discussed in this thread may or may not, have good reasons to prevent the OP's brother from seeing his child. But we just don't know. It sounds like a big mess all round and I feel sorry for the little girl.

Threads here: Adopting my stepson, and the murky field of PR www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3492485-adopting-my-stepson-and-the-murky-field-of-pr

Can I just say a massive thank you for your wonderful messages, you're bloody amazing.

@AmICrazyorWhat2

Thank you for your kind words. XP is pure evil and there's NOTHING I'd stop at to keep my child safe from him.

I agree about the situation on this thread. Ultimately, this is about that little girl and what's best for HER. It doesn't sound like either of her birth parents have covered themselves in glory, but as you said, we just don't know, do we? We haven't even heard either parents' side of the story!

Going to pop into your thread later Steve