Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

Glad I had mine in the 90s and 00s

Never known anything like this and would have hated it

My DH ran a pub at the time and couldn't have been with me all night, nor would he or I want him to have been . I had had an emergency C Section but just got on with it .

Some of what I have read here is bloody well outrageous , especially the bloke telling a new mum not to disturb him again . wtf.

But either way, someone isn't happy. I'm just wondering why it has to be women who feel vulnerable alone who have to compromise? Other posters have also stated they would've died or been seriously ill without their husband.

Completely, utterly unacceptable to have to share a bathroom with strange men in the hours after giving birth! This is a time when privacy and extra care is essential for women and their health.

DS was very poorly in the days after he was born, not only did I want DH there for support, both physical and emotional, but he deserved to be there for his son. There were no side rooms available. There were a number of cocklodgers also there having a pop at their partners, seraring, reeking of cannabis (one example) but unsurprisingly none of them stayed, despite at least one of their partners struggling physically herself and with a very prem baby. It's not that they shouldn't be there, any visitor to a ward should know how to behave respectfully, regardless of how long they are there for.

Oh and the ward bathroom was for patients only, all visitors had to use the one out in the hall

Other posters have also stated they would've died or been seriously ill without their husband.

Because in an ideal world, postnatal care would be adequately funded to ensure that all women were properly cared for by a qualified medical professional.

As others have pointed out, this arrangement doesn’t happen on any other type of ward, and yet there is no nationwide scandal of patients dying because they don’t have 24 hr care from a partner or family member.

Pennymordant Charlotte Bevan springs to mind. Her partner was sent home and they said she had to stay in overnight, and he was assured she would be watched over. She managed to leave the ward and kill herself and her baby before the staff even noticed she was missing.

Oooo! @CosmicComet I was about to lose it! However, you're right I was alone, my mum was my birthing partner yet she couldn't stay with me

But! I don't have a partner .... never did 🤣 fucking insane

Ribbons- that woman was failed, but like I said- if the system was funded properly and there was adequate staffing on every ward every night there would be no need for partners to stay.

Or Amanda Cox, who took a wrong turn on her way back from NICU and died in a stairwell, bleeding, alone, because no one noticed she was gone.

When I had my two they had a tag on their ankles. If you took them past a certain point the alarm would go off.

Pennymourdaunt I totally agree! But that is what should be campaigned for people shouldn't be having a go at other women who have to rely on their partners to cope in these situations it's not their fault! We should be focusing on the staffing levels and the privacy on wards. At this time many women do need their partners on the wards with them sadly.

I wouldn’t have coped without my partner staying with me on the ward (I was kept for 4 days after a cs). I couldn’t move, I’d undergone major surgery, suffered temporary kidney failure due to severe dehydration, blood pressure through the roof, 25 hour labour and hadn’t slept in 3 days as I’d been on the induction ward before my labour, I was just about hallucinating by the time I was moved from the recovery ward to the main ward.

And guess what? The one time my partner left for a few hours I asked if my water jug could be refilled (I had been on a fluid drip for 2 days prior- including the day I was in labour- and had to keep my fluids up) as I really couldn’t walk. I was told that there was a water fountain down the end of the (long) corridor off the ward and was briskly left to it. I didn’t drink for a few hours despite being very thirsty despite, ironically, being kept in hospital longer due to my kidneys not recovering as quickly as expected from damage caused by dehydration. I couldn’t reach the bell to call the midwife as it was far behind the bed and I couldn’t twist my body. I tried calling to staff coming in and out of the room but I wasn’t heard.

I don’t think anyone else who had medically suffered my ordeal would receive such poor care...but because it was caused by birth we’re expected to just cope? If it hadn’t been for my partner I think I would have grown ill very quickly in the hospital. So no, I don’t think men should be banned- that’s a very short sighted suggestion.

FYI my partner slept on the floor next to my bed

I was told not to breastfeed because the woman in the bay opposite husband was coming in. By a Healthcare Assistant. I'll call her Jeanette. Awful woman. I'm still cross I didn't report het.

Having my DH there was incredibly important to me, but not more important that the feelings of other women who may not want him there. Would happily support a rule change on that basis.

It's more of a problem that postnatal women are still on communal wards.

Yes more private rooms are needed.

I'm going to add a male perspective and as a father of 7 children - if you're going to deny men permission to be available as fathers in the first few hours / days of their child's life, why expect them to get any more hands on once you get home

You're absolutely right, fathers should never have to lift a finger with their own children because after their partner just went through a risky, painful and frightening medical procedure they didn't make it all about him in the hours following.

Are you sure you found someone to have 7 children with you?

If somebody seriously suggested separating mothers from their newborn children there'd rightly be outrage about interfering with the bonding process

Well yes because she is the actual patient who's just given birth genius 🤦🏼‍♀️

seline I hope you have understanding family if you have a second child. Able to have your child for as long as you choose to stay in hospital.

Women who've had a section are often required to keep their curtain open so staff can easily check on them. Privacy is at a premium and whilst every woman on a ward might think their partner is a delight, the other women don't know that.
Staffing levels are at minimum levels and there's no slack to prevent bad behaviour.

There was a thread on MN not long ago about it. I have plenty to say on the topic (as you will see if you find that thread) but suffice to say it’s an absolute disgrace and shouldn’t be allowed.

Congratulations on your baby and hope you’re home in a restful and comfortable environment soon.

Aornis what? I have three children.

It's more of a problem that postnatal women are still on communal wards.
That's historic and has become a cost cutting measure. A communal ward with open curtains means fewer staff. A staff member can spot a problem more easily than if they had to open a door to a safety schedule.

Who looked after the other dc when your dh bedded down for your stay in post-natal then seline?

In the 1980s there was a know your midwife scheme at St Georges hospital in Tooting.
It worked very well.
One of the proposals around that scheme was to have something like Travel Lodge accommodation for post natal care. Family rooms with ensuite bathrooms for women who had normal deliveries.
Midwives on site.
Much cheaper than hospital beds.
It was never implemented.
It was proposed by Professor Carooine Flint in her book "Sensitive Midwifery".
Such a pity we have gone backwards since then.