Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

It beggars belief how some people think. "This was my view and my experience and my lovely husband so other people must be in the same circumstances". I couldn't imagine being so unfortunate that you have that narrow a view point and think because you wouldn't mind a man hearing about your bleeding or seeing your bum that others shouldn't too.

Exactly this.

Doesn't mean you can treat all men as potential criminals.

Feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable around men in such a situation is not treating them as potential criminals. It's just how many women feel.

@Seline, it's not about the men. It's about the needs of women, who shouldn't be expected to share sleeping quarters with unknown men at possibly one of their most vulnerable moments. Yes plenty of women would be ok with it, but many not, for very valid reasons that should be respected. Solutions to this are possible.

Feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable around men in such a situation is not treating them as potential criminals. It's just how many women feel.

It's acting as if they're a threat.

I don't want to be looked after by someone I don't know
Why go to hospital then?

Exactly feeling. All those pesky strangers and their medical qualifications helping patients at the hospital. Tsk.

The blood pressure machine is easy to operate, we have one at home so technically I could do that.
Oh FFS, of course you could operate it...can you read it effectively...and what if it showed that you were seriously unwell! I think you must be being disengenous on purpose because your arguments are nonsense. What would be the problem with a hcp bringing you a drink?

Selene, I have no idea why you're blind to the fact that single sex services are totally standard in many situations. For privacy, dignity and yes for safety. People don't usually expect to have to share close sleeping quarters with strangers, and particularly with strangers of the opposite sex.

Why go to hospital then?

Presumably because you don't have any choice? That doesn't mean it doesn't adversely affect you. My experiences were 20 and 25 years ago - I am still hugely affected by the lasting damage. Is that ok? Is that ok so that women who were only in for 1 night got what they wanted and I had to be in for 4 weeks with my first baby and struggled?

Yes, I can read it properly. It's hardly difficult. I monitor my own as I have an issue with very low blood pressure. It's not a difficult job to take someone's temperature and blood pressure and to record it on a chart.

The problem is it's awkward to keep asking them and I don't want to be left alone in a hospital. I don't trust them.

What would be the problem with a hcp bringing you a drink?

I'd have no problem with that. The fact is that they wouldn't - you had to walk to the dayroom, even when you couldn't walk.

Presumably because you don't have any choice? That doesn't mean it doesn't adversely affect you

Precisely. I hate hospitals. But I didn't have a choice because of the nature of the pregnancy. So I would appreciate it if that experience could be made as pleasant as it could, and that involves not being on my own.

I didnt particularly want to be in a state of undress in front of strange men, but they were all there to look after their partners, as my DH was there to look after me, so I had to put up with it. There was no alternative.

I don't think anyone likes going into hospital but it's a necessary trip most of the time.

If you don't trust the very strangers that are there to look after you then maybe steer clear.

So I would appreciate it if that experience could be made as pleasant as it could, and that involves not being on my own.

Then campaign for private rooms for all women. Why should your need for your stay to be how you wanted it trump my desire for everyone else's stay to be how they want it? There has to be a standard and that standard must be single sex and it must be focused on avoiding infection by preserving facilities for patients only.

Why don’t you trust HCPs?

I think the difficulty is that for women who have straight forward births and healthy babies who are mobile and self caring and only stay in for a few hours or over night the idea as to why some women might really need more support or practical care is hard to comprehend.

Yes, having enough staff with enough time to provide good care for mothers and babies will help a lot. It isn't the complete answer. Certainly mothers with babies on SCBU need a completely different type of care and the difficulty of that situation shouldn't be underestimated.

I wonder how the poor OP is getting on?

Look, both my births were traumatic emergency c sections with my babies being very unwell in SCBU. That doesn't change my opinion about post natal wards not being mixed sex.

@SnuggyBuggy @LadyGregorysToothbrush yeah he did actually I just laid on my side. Obviously not straight away after about 5 ish hours

Why don’t you trust HCPs?

Rude attitudes, never bring pain relief on time, had no idea about my pre-existing conditions, ignored me when I was screaming in pain, left me bleeding to death...

I've had multiple bad experiences. Doctors are fine but once they've gone the nurses just ignore their wishes.

Surely the answer is to have two wards or ward bays. One ward, private rooms or bays for those who want their husband there and the reverse for those who don't.

Your partner is a disgrace bunnyrabbit and an argument in favour of banning men from wards at night.

Why is he a disgrace? How does that hurt anyone other than potentially bunnyrabit who is okay with it?

AssassinatedBeauty

But then you are assuming that everyone feels the same as you and is able to cope the same as you.

I don't know the answer. On antenatal wards I don't think it is right for labouring women to have to cope alone because it's outside visiting on post natal wards I think women who need the help and support of a partner should be able to get it. If that means separate bays then maybe that's the way to go.