Men on a post natal ward

[RogueV]

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.

@Raspberry88

I’m not saying it’s right - it’s not. But they are necessary at this point!

So, as has been asked before, what do Muslim women do? What do survivors of sexual violence do?

The same as they do in the daytime, I suppose.

"So, as has been asked before, what do Muslim women do? What do survivors of sexual violence do?"

Well it seems clear that the expectation is that they discharge themselves as soon as they can, or they have to put up with it and remember it's for the benefit of other women.

The problem is, apart from the fact that many would be mortified to be fed and toiletted by relatives, many simply won't have anyone available to do this sort of thing.

I remember my late DGF being stuck in soiled clothing because the idiots running the convalescent home just assumed everyone had family in the area who could do laundry. I don't live near my parents either and really hope this doesn't catch on.

Night time on a ward is not the same as daytime. There are much fewer staff around, the lights are off and you are trying to sleep. It's blindingly obvious that you are more vulnerable in that situation, and someone who could just about cope in the day might be unable to at night.

Can't understand the anti daytime visitors lark either. Who wants to be alone in hospital?

@AssassinatedBeauty

Exactly so - we were told at our hospital that fathers were able to be present for ‘bonding’, and ‘sharing in the experience’, but it isn’t true. They’re actually needed to mop up vomit and blood, change sheets, help partners to the shower, to the toilet, fetch water, bring in edible food and even pass screaming babies to immobile mothers when no midwives are to be found.

Because people may want to have stitches checked or ask embarrassing questions without the presence of some random man.

So for the sake of one five second question you spend the rest of the day on your own

No, ward rounds where men have to go to the day room or elsewhere would be a compromise

I'd love to have my whole tribe with me in hospital.

He shared my bed and no one said anything 5 day stay ward was full for 3 no separate rooms.

bunnyrabbit your “D”P slept in your hospital bed for 5 nights after you had a placental abruption and a haemorrhage? Really?

How did you both fit?

It's odd because generally you aren't allowed to sit on the patient's bed at all, ever for hygiene reasons.

Because people may want to have stitches checked or ask embarrassing questions without the presence of some random man.

Then this is an argument against having visitors on any ward.

Well it seems clear that the expectation is that they discharge themselves as soon as they can, or they have to put up with it and remember it's for the benefit of other women.

And I discharged myself following a PPH with my 2nd baby and an hb of 6 ratger than stay and have a blood transfusion because I just could not manage to look after myself and a baby on my own. So is that ok because some women can manage just fine on their own?

did you really not want your partner there with you all the time
No I didn't feel the need. He would have been bored out of his mind and I was quite capable of looking after the baby on my own. He made me sandwiches and bought them in for me, which was really nice (the food wasn't very nice, and totally inadequate for a breastfeeding woman).

No I didn't feel the need. He would have been bored out of his mind and I was quite capable of looking after the baby on my own.

And some women aren't fortunate to be well enough to look after the baby on their own so what should they do?

Then this is an argument against having visitors on any ward.

Yes, on other wards rounds generally take place outside visiting hours, so these conflicts are less likely to arise.

Being in hospital without visitors leaves you at the mercy of the staff. It's your word against theirs if anything goes wrong.

No, that's the point. Neither is ok. The only solution is to fight for private rooms where possible or if not, to have two separate wards (one for partners to stay and one not). It's pointless to argue about which set of women should be put in an impossible situation.

no one is suggesting in these situations that proper nursing care should be taken over by family members.

I don't think family members should be doing nursing care.

I do think that it's ok for fathers to do basic newborn care/change nappies etc so mother's can recover. I don't see why that's something the NHS should pay for, except in cases where there isn't a healthy parent to step in.

It's a free at point of use service, and as such is bound to have limitations such as shared wards, where different people want different things. We could switch to the American system and pay several thousand dollars to give birth in hospital?? If you object strongly to the current system that's always an option??
The service I received was reasonable, the visitors on my ward (women as well as men) mildly annoying but not excessively so. I was given basic aftercare as befitting a free service in a struggling healthcare system and was grateful for that.

The only solution is to fight for private rooms where possible or if not, to have two separate wards (one for partners to stay and one not). It's pointless to argue about which set of women should be put in an impossible situation.

Absolutely agree.

Whoever made postnatal wards open in the first place was a bloody idiot. Should always have been own room only.

Other types of patients aren't routinely expected to have mixed sex wards. The NHS policy is supposed to be reducing mixed sex wards, not increasing them. Yes, it is a stateprovided service, but within that, women should not be treated differently to other patients because no one can be bothered to provide suitable care for post natal women.