Being a single mum is proper graft isn't it - come on in single mums

[Janeyscleavage]

And no you can't join if you 'feel like a single mum because your husband works long hours'

Weather is looking shocking this weekend and in the last few weeks even my bills have had bills... so it's going to be a cheap weekend.

Tomorrow we're going to try and find some Roman remains - i.e., trudge through a field whilst listening to "mum, mum, mum, mum do you think I'll find a Roman sword?", "mum, mum, mum, mum..." Repeat for at least 1 hour.

If there's any gap in the weather I'll try and get us all to the beach on Sunday.

Today I have my youngest off school as apparently his penis hurts... but he won't show me. Doesn't seem to mind showing me when he's performing The One and Only Magnificent Winky Show! So I'm waiting for the doctor to call. But that's fine... because I only have 6 million fucking things to do today.

Going to a soft play/adventure place on saturday to keep the youngest two entertained and burn off some of the never ending energy they have. See if I can drag DD1 with us, she's grounded but my grounding methods include being forced to spend quality time with family. Sunday will probably be spent trying to organise the house, moved a few weeks ago and half my things are still in boxes

Sorry to hear of your shitstorm Disney. Some days one foot in front of the other is all we can do. And that’s good enough.

Eggstatic: I’m sorry you have to go through that 😘 soft play is an abominable shit. But if you can carve out a couple of hours for yourself afterwards then so be it.

Nothing going on this weekend (save for all the driving to kids activities, DS having mates round (of an age where I will be buying beer and carbs)).

Got a massive food delivery this morning so am cooking for the week this morning and then workIng. Except I’ve just realised there’s only half an hour left of this morning. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Fuck.

I'm more angry at myself for ranting at the dds over a fucking tie of all things

I might not be completely sane but I don't mind soft play, at least this one isn't terrible and has nice coffee

Big break out of the Friday blues here. Sympathy to all of you feeling frazzled.

All change at my work and I may or may not lose my job - awesome!!!!!! Nothing like financial uncertainty to keep you up in the wee hours.

DS had a camera up his bottom this morning (by a doctor, not just a random camera) and DD thinks she has something wrong with her cervix!!!!!!!

Definitely one of those days where I mumble to myself "this too shall pass, this too shall pass" on repeat multiple times!

and to one and all!

My eldest dd has got swimming and dancing tomorrow . Then taking them both to get their hair cut .
Sunday eldest has gymnastics then going to do pancakes as not back from work till 6 on Tuesday . Might watch some films too if weather is rubbish .

Disney I think we all have those moments when we lose it over nothing at the kids .

Margo I'm sorry to hear about your job and I hope the children are OK.

My youngest cried off sick from school yesterday with a sore penis. He was quite upset about the prospect of showing the doctor - but I explained that doctors have seen loads of willies and even have to sometimes stick their finger up someone's bum! So we got into surgery and the doctor reassured him that he saw a willy every day and was something of a willy expert! DS2 said he hadn't seen many willies but he could always look on YouTube. "No no no no no!" from me and the doc!

This is something they don't tell you about lone parenting. I am not a willy expert. Whilst I have seen more than one - I can't imagine what lumps or pains or stings might feel like.

I have definitely lost my shit over the most benign things.

zigzag, he is a character, isn’t he? 😂
A few days ago my DD asked me if her dad is contributing anything at all towards her school trips. I have never discussed this with her before, not something for her to worry, but I have always paid for everything, her dad’s only ever paid minimum of maintenance which she knows about and is horrified at how little it is.
So I said, no, he has never contributed, it’s all me.
She gave me a hug and said: sorry mum, I never realised.

Last night she came for a hug and said: I asked dad for at least some spending money for the school trip. He didn’t like that one bit, mumbled something about he’s not happy about it and will see what he can do.
And then my DD came out with it: it’s ok, I won’t go and see him, I will refuse contact to the point where he won’t see me anymore, see how happy he is about THAT.

She is a teenager. Not a little girl anymore. And she’s begining to see him for what he is.
She said it’s not the money, she knows I’ll give her spending money, it’s the principle, why should he not help at all?

I’m afraid the daughter is getting closer to shredding her dad to pieces. And I’ll be there to deal with the aftermath, for years to come, because something like this will mark her for life. And I’m sad for her.

8FencingWire

This week I sort of had the opposite On contact day X took a leaf straight out of the seperated dickheads toxic idiot playbook.

Told dd1/13 that she has to pay me for every contact and the only way she get to see them us by giving me money.

FFS seriously FFS.

I really don't know how to counter that one. other than ignore it and add it to the stack or reasons as to why social services and the courts did what they did. I only wish I hadn't been so generous with the amount of contact I said and gone with my barristers recommendation of fuck all.

I'm finding that the contact is making lone parenting harder than I expected. The dds come home from it in a seriously fucking foul mood and getting them ready to go out for it is a chore if they do not look sparkly, I get hammered for it. And I realise it's really an inconvenient set up

Mine come home hyper (OD on sugar) - then foul moods for 36 hours. Every single fucking time.

My ex moans about clothes/shoes - although the last time he stuck his hand in his pocket to buy them any clothing was 2010... He was raging at me one weekend (I had to hang up on him) because my youngest had unbeknown to me decided to wear his big brother's shoes so they were about 3 sizes too big. I honestly didn't notice - had just bundled them in the car and driven them there. He could've nipped to sportsdirect or Tesco and picked up a pair... nope - he raged at me for being a shit mother. It upset me the entire weekend. :(

fencingwire That's interesting to note that she's seeing him lacking... but you're right. It'll be you who continues to picks up the pieces.

Oh fencingwire it’s heartbreaking isn’t it? So conflicting for them to see their other parent for who they really are 😔 and that they work it out for themselves.

She has you. You are enough for her.

Same Disney. Your DDs have you.

I always get upset when people say to me ‘don’t worry the kids will see him for what he is one day’.

LikeI should be looking forward to the day they realise their dad really doesn’t care. Is that my life?

We’re having a family/friend’s get together for DD 12th birthday as she was at her dads on the actual day. I’m on the verge of cancelling as she’s just sat and moaned at me all morning when asking for help to tidy up and get ready.

I’m tired, spent. I’ve got a chest infection that won’t go away and just want to rest.

Disney I never loose my shit at the big things, it’s genearlly the little tiny issue that just puts me over the edge. Big hugs x

Hi all I'm thinking we need a new shiny thread.
OP I loved your original rules - do you fancy doing the honours? If not I'll get off my phone and onto the laptop so I can link to it.

Think I might be a bit late to the thread? Very new single mum of a 10 week old here. Lovely thread

Welcome Greenwhales 😊 how are you getting on?

It's getting better, thank you. I've recently moved to a new city and made some friends through baby groups so things are looking a lot brighter than they did a month ago.

Universal credits, child benefit and council tax discount applied for. Now trying to get my head around bills. Need to
Switch lots to save money and I haven’t a booody clue. Gas and electric is the big one and there as so many company’s out there I don’t know who to go for! Is it better to go with a reputable company?

Brilliant! Well done Naps!
I use Uswitch or Compare the Market. Look at moneysavingexpert.com for advice. I’m with OVO which have been pretty good, and they pay 3% on any credit balance.

Cashback sites like Quidco or Topcashback often have cash back on energy too. Generally do your shopping/travel/justeat etc through them and you can make quite a bit of cash.

naps, I swear by Martin Lewis’s website, he has an energy club where tariffs are negociated and fixed. It’s free to register. I’m with Flow, happy with them so far.

Had one of those rare afternoons when DD is in a good mood and wants to talk. We kept it light and just gossiped, head in my lap, no screens. Felt good :)

I should probably look at changing. I've been with whom I am simply through ease, but I got a letter last week saying my tariffs are going up so it's probably time to look into it. Is it really as simple as it sounds? I'm apprehensive about the better the devil you know aspect.

I use the money saving expert site too and it works well. You often get cash back on the deals too . I swap pretty much every year and never had any problems . Currently with green energy .
Feeling tired this morning as 3 year old woke up screaming twice and then got in bed with me .

I'm in rural Scotland with no gas so my bills are usually pretty big - except weirdly this winter it's been so mild the heating hasn't kicked in much at all. I'm a huge fan of Quidco so will see what I can get - who doesn't love a bit of cashback?