Being a single mum is proper graft isn't it - come on in single mums

[Janeyscleavage]

And no you can't join if you 'feel like a single mum because your husband works long hours'

@Napssavelives

Have a good read of your policy for exclusions, it will probably relate to no payout on suicide, the most common.

Also watch out for invalidations, one if the mist common ways an insurer avoids a payout us if you haven't updated thenm if something. The most common is change of address or it could even be telephone number.

Check your plan year, and policy inclusions and exclusions

napsavelives Well in a previous life I've usually had to be put through to the underwriters for travel insurance and they've said "we won't cover suicide/SH" which I'd have thought would be pretty obvious. But the life insurance companies won't even cold call me back when I make an enquiry and MH forums tell me that travel insurance has absolutely rocketed - e.g., I used to pay £70/year to ski in the US - now they're wanting a few hundred for a week in the med!

@ZigZagZombie can you get that cover through your pension or even a credit card add on? Didn't know mh issues aren't covered.

Also on a single parenting note, I've been so tired last week I lost my handbag 3 times!

My pension is abroad and was tied to my job... so I'm no longer covered there. Not sure about cc... although tbh since I moved back to the UK I let my passport expire because I was utterly "done" with abroad having spent 20 years there. Been everywhere, seen it all = meh . So it's not something I've worried about for a while.

I have epilepsy so cant get cover either... unless i want to pay hundreds a month. I try and save a little to leave the kids but because i can get to it easily I end up using it for washing machines and residentials.

Anyone else have grumpy kids today as its back to school. Its my day off and I was looking forward to a coffee after shopping. Then realised my youngest has an inset day. Sheer fluke its my rostered day off

#flukeparenting101

Everyone has got up surprisingly well and dressed with minimal fuss. It's a messy day for me today, I've got a DPD delivery booked before 1. I've got to go to a Child Protection Conference this afternoon - fingers crossed the dds will either be reduced to children in need or off the register completely.

My X has been trying to contact me since yesterday, and I've agreed to talk this morning, I'm expecting some hard core manipulation, the texts gave been rather needy - I'm not looking forward to it.

My ex is taking mine straight to school this morning. I've not heard from them all weekend... he's probably furious because I put in the contact book "absolute no age-inappropriate films"...

Well done chuckles fluke parenting indeed haha! When I was looking my initial premiums were coming in at £300/month which was huge... and I couldn't decide whether to go for it or just put that money aside. The brokers made the decision for me!

Good luck this afternoon disney - that all sounds horribly stressful and what a shame it's come to all of that.

Fuming fucking fuming. I arranged to talk to X this morning , I called, X answered and then killed the call without saying anything then sent me a patronising text.

Back to the nits, as DD's entire year group got some massive infestation when she was 13. They are bastards to get rid of. I did the whole chemical warfare thing and it didn't shift the fuckers either. DD has the finest hair and at the time it was long. Jesus wept, it nearly killed me, but we did the cheap conditioner and metal nitty gritty comb every weekend for about 3 months & finally got rid of the little glinting gold bloody eggs. She developed nit paranoia and I was checking her hair for nearly a year afterwards, but we kept her hair tightly french plaited for school and they didn't come back. Not had any further infestations.

Good luck with the Child Protection Conference this afternoon Disney. Unless you desperately need to engage with your X, would it be better to leave it for today?

disney What a dick!

We didn't have nits last year thank god and being boys it's easier to deal with. One of my neighbours is a hairdresser and she always gives me the heads up when there's an infestation at school... teachers have told me off the record it's always the same bloody families every single bloody time while the rest of us battle them. I've got very fine hair and the first time we had nits I was still with my ex and I was in tears as it hurt so much to comb through my hair - I was also at the time suffering an exzema type outbreak on my scalp. Great times!

It's turning into one if those days Just got a call from the school asking me to collect dd1 as she was caught cutting herself. Throughout half term she got through and over it and stopped, as soon as she is back at school the bullies come out. Someone has given her a pencil sharpener blade (those fucking things are now band at home) and encouraged her to cut.

I plainly said no to the school as I have to be off to cp conf. I very firmly told the school to tackle their bullying problem and get to the bottom of who these abusers are and as they are now all over 13, then I'm within my rights to contact the police.

For fucks fucking sake is my day going to be filled with shit like this. I had Mr needy micro manager from work texting me this morning because he didn't check the time off schedule.

And breathe

How did you get on disney?

I got the contact book back - it's obviously annoyed him as he's requested I have a "real-time conversation" by phone/text/email rather than the silly book. I have post-dated "I thought it would be easier to use a book so we don't forget to communicate important information" for example like you having a girlfriend for 4 +/- years you neglected to tell me about when we were having those normal real-time conversations .

Off the register, no longer need support from social services. It's been a difficult time I do feel compassion for my X given the nature of addiction and MH, until my X says something that winds me up and I have to walk away. from it

ZigZagZombie Thanks for your thoughtfulness

Good news disney re cp. That must be a relief. How's dd1 after today? My dd uses pencil sharpener blades to cut. It's bloody awful. CAMHS first bit of advice to me was that they 'advocate safe self harm.'!!!!! I was like 'you what?!!!' whilst wanting to hide every sharp in the house!
Dd is coping better now but it's still an issue. My kids are no longer on the CP reg but it's had a huge impact on my job. Particularly DD's self harming. Can't go into it on here as it would be too outing but it's me that is still suffering the knock on effects of my controlling, narcissistic ex husband and my dd's relationship.

*Happyinheels"

It felt good to get them off the register, I walked 5 miles hone from the building to decompress and think about it.
.Interestingly I was wearing a brand doankibg new pair boots, that I hadn't broken in and when I was nearly jone, I thought to myself Blimey these boots are comfy.

In drinking this evening not to celebrate but more to switch off

disney That's fantastic news and what a bloody relief! Although you KNOW you are innocent and a good parent - it's fucking terrifying having them breathing down your neck nonetheless!

Btw I wholly agree. Your DD probably wouldn't feel as "pushed" to SH if she weren't being horrendously bullied. Few wake up and think "today I shall damage myself doing X" if everything's hunky-dory!

And finally... congrats on breaking in the new boots! Boots are a thing of great joy even when the rest of life is shite haha.

Disney totally get you - drink and slowly it will sink in. Not tonight but it will.

And fab re your boots - those boots were clearly made for walking!

I am now drunk and I will not be ashamed of what I am about to say

I once had this director who used to say to me "I know who wears the pants in your house", he also asked me out for a fight in a meeting because I disagreed with him. When I stood up and said "OK in here or outside - no police or lawyers, let's do it" he backed down.

I say all if that to establish bloke credentials because.

These boots, £295 of gorgeous tan Italian nubuk leather with vibram soles and glove leather interior - to fucking die for, or walk 5 miles in. They even came with their own maintenance kit.

I nearly shit out of going, I asked to go before my X came in to be told of the outcome because I'm shit scared to be in the same room. Our first time in court I was loaded up on diazepam from my GP because I had difficulty coping.

Men are easy to deal with; Mano a Mano, that's how I was brought up. This stuff has fucked with my head, Seperation, courts, Child protection, police , irresponsible behaviour from my ex, single parent to 2 messed up dds, trying to get then to a health happy place. Making sure they are OK on a daily basis. and that they are safe. Getting my arse to work dealing with some fucking difficult needy bastards who need a kick in the balls and told not to be manchildren.

I've had to learn how to deal with first periods and washing the result, I'll be better with dd2 (I hope)

Fucking rock

Fucking hard place

Me in the fucking middle

Sorry I've unloaded, it's the drink

disney, big hug from me
A woman after my own heart, I’m partial to a good pair of shoes and getting drunk to destress.
Hope it gets easier, for you, for me, for all of us.

It's a good place to unload Disney.

Firstly - need pictures of said boots 

Secondly - there's no need to feel ashamed. I hear what you're saying though. Society puts this on to men, the whole macho image. But you've been through one hell of a shitstorm. You've coped with so much. Nevermind throwing hormones and periods into the mix!!!

Thirdly - you may feel overwhelmed right now but it's massive, an end to months and months of absolute hell and torture, interrogations, judgements, walking on eggshells, looking over your shoulder. Give yourself a break and stop being so hard on yourself. What you're feeling is normal. Go with it for tonight.

You're not alone...

Sorry 8FencingWire, I'm a single dad with no one irl to talk to about being a single parent, I have the dds full time all the time and nearly all if what everyone says I recognise about my own sutuation., regarding X, bringing up the dds. Dealing with work, trying to just get by. Sorry if I gave the wrong impression the booze had got to me

Fracap Explorer size 45, better than Timberlands, note the sole cutouts for added flex

My bad, I assumed. A man after my own hear then!

8FencingWire Just over a 10th of single parents in the UK are men I looked up the stats at the ONS 1.3m women to 153k men my figures could be out if date though. So you are not wring to assume that,