Being a single mum is proper graft isn't it - come on in single mums

[Janeyscleavage]

And no you can't join if you 'feel like a single mum because your husband works long hours'

We think babies and the sleepless nights are the difficult bits... then the teenage years come 😖

Oh eggs! I have no idea how I'd deal with that one but sure thing your DD will know your feelings on it! Like O4FS says, who knew that the teenage years would be so much worse than the baby years?!! I'm just about coping with the hormonal strops and the boyfriend break ups and every other day that has some drama in it by drinking copious amounts of red wine and lying down in a darkened room but when it comes to boy stuff I'm totally lost with my DS! Steep learning curve! And as a single parent we have all these battles to fight alone! Sending strength eggs!

@O4FS I have a teenager, toddler and a newborn!!! I forget what it's like to sleep and showering

You have it ALL going on!!

So much to do, benefits to sort, devastated kids to comfort, I stupidly thought I’d decorate too so everything was done before the baby was born so I started.

I feel so overwhelmed

{hugs} Napps.

I really do know that feeling. You're not stupid - it's really natural to want to have everything in place before the baby arrives.

Without wishing to sound patronising, I have learnt that actually I don't have to do THE WHOLE THING in one go, whether that be the court forms, the Chinese visa (for work), ALL the things that the kids need doing - but actually just doing 10 mins will make a dent and make me feel that at least I've made a start.

I have high expectations of myself (I didn't realise until it was pointed out by my psychologist) and when your brain is exploding with pressure something has to give.

I would go through periods of thinking "right, when DS is in bed I shall do x,y and z" - and I just felt crap because I just couldn't muster the energy. So instead I'd do just 10 minutes of it, or decide that I would find just one of the five forms I needed to locate. It sounds so simple. But I remember a penny dropping with the therapist said 'you know, you don't have to do the whole thing'. I was like, WHAT?

First of all I'm sorry I've not posted your book yet - it's been packed up and ready to go since Sunday night - I've just been caught up in various crap.

Secondly - I live for lists. As much as anything I use them as a "brain dump" tool. I feel even more overwhelmed if I'm carrying around all this Mental Load [tm] - at least if it's assigned to a list then I can consider the priority for it - and then, as FV45 says, it can be broken down further. 10 minutes towards the goal is still 10 minutes. :)

I write everything down. From the day I need to pay BT, to the day I need to think about arranging the MOT (if the dealer doesn't auto-remind me), which day of the school hols I need to check uniform for quantity of/fit/etc. It might sound over the top - but once it's written down I can totally forget about it - and even if I have a few shit days in a row I can refer back to my planner and know what needs to be "caught up" with, what can be safely ignored and what sailed past and nobody got hurt!

I also use a digital calendar for repetitive tasks - e.g., my bloody meds I've been having to take twice a day and so important not to fuck them up. Without a digital reminder I'd have forgotten half the time or not eaten with them or something like that.

I have no idea about getting everything ready for a baby as my first was premature on my first day of ML so I had no fucking idea what was going on. This practice has continued to work for me for the last 9 years.

This bloody momo thing! My son is 13 next month and I swear he never left my side last night - even ended up sleeping in my bed! He's absolutely freaked out by it. We were burgled a few years ago and he's only just able to stay home for an hour or so on his own. He didn't even go upstairs to his room to play on his Xbox. Has anyone else had issues with this 'thing??' Bloody knackered!

What’s going on with this Momo thing? Seems to be a lot of talk about it but some saying it’s all made up?

Naps - agree, lists and break it down. It’s overwhelming. Where are you? Can I help?

First thing to do it make the call to tax credits/benefits. That’s the most important thing. Then you can take a breath and review what’s next.

Feels like standing at the foot of a huge mountain, and there’s no choice but to climb it, and it’s fucking huge. I remember it well. But once you start you’ll be closer to the top.

My son is 9 and for the time being I've banned You Tube.
I'm fortunate that he's young enough that I can still monitor his internet usage; I can only image how hard it is for young teenagers.

All I can suggest is to give him the emotional support he needs and give it time.

Hugs Napps so sorry that you're feeling so overwhelmed, I'm not surprised! You've got so so much on your plate right now. I agree with the lists - lists really help get everything down and you can see what you've got to do. It's satisfying crossing stuff off. You don't have to list it in any order, just write everything down you can think of and go from there. I agree that sorting out any benefits is your priority though. Try to do this if nothing else.
Have you got any family or friends around to help you? Especially with the decorating.

@O4FS @TheOrigFV45 It's everywhere I look this morning! My DD showed me a group chat some boys from her school had going with this Momo thing. It was really shocking, the things it was telling them to do. It used their names too.
So many crazy and evil people out there. It just pops up by all accounts, there's no downloading anything.

Gosh. Thanks. I'll keep him on the xbox and off the internet then. Jesus.

I’m in Bristol. Went to ikea today to buy all new plates to replace the wedding ones, also bought pretty bedsheets which are all mine. I feel like such a cliche! Tomorrow I’m going to so apply for universal credits, child benefit and council tax reduction.

I had a massage this afternoon, helped de stress, may have to become a monthly treat!

Love it Napps!!! So pleased you're sounding like you're moving forward. Can't shake the image from The Hobbit, of you rubbing your hands together whilst gazing at your new bedding whispering 'all mine my precious!'

Sorry. I didn't get much sleep.

I'll see myself out yeah?

Well done Naps! Sounds like a really positive day!

Bristol is my old stomping ground. 😊

Well done naps! You spurred me into action and your book should be with you tomorrow - so you can lie in your fresh sheets and read a story to the children. :)

@ZigZagZombie ah thank you!

Lp here too. It does get easier as kids grow. I do have help now though. A cleaner and great family help. It's still hard when you are I'll though

Morning everybody!
Where is disney?
What are your plans for the weekend? Apart from keeping the children alive, that is 😂.
It’s been a week since my DD is sleeping with no bedding. Technically, she is sleeping WITH her bedding, she can’t be bothered to actually make the bed and uses her fresh ironed bedding in a pillowcase as a...pillow!!! Give me strenght. I reminded her every day this week. She’s as tall as me, and can make the bed, btw. She just can’t be bothered.

I am having a shit morning, this week Monday CPP conference Wednesday business trip and contact yesterday final social worker visit today I lost my shit and gave ranted at the kids to get dressed and ready for school and dd2 has lost her fucking school Tie and her hair looks like shit. today I hate my life

Sits with Disney. I hate it when days starts like that, hope the rest of your day gets better.

Weekend plans? Potentially bowling on Saturday morning and soft play. Sunday kids are with their dad and I’m working the morning then will continue painting in the afternoon.

I think I need a new weekly routine, struggling to keep on top of everything. Housework, washing, homework. I keep telling myself that right now it’s about survival but I don’t want my kids to suffer at school and we need clean clothes and to eat

disney do you accept MN hugs from LP mothers? Here's one from me.

Start again tomorrow.

I've had DS2 in tears cos his Dad won't give his nice bike back.

Weekend: we will kick off with getting our dinner in Sains cafe this evening.

Saturday: Football - KO at 9.30am. Sigh.
Then [drum roll] I am going to a stand up comedy show with some family. Booked MONTHS ago. DS2 going for a sleepover. I will get about 2 1/2hrs all to myself in the afternoon. I've told myself I will do some study for the course I'm doing.

Sunday: Half marathon. I raced last week so am not racing this but pacing a friend for a PB.
Sunday pm - do all chores I guess before Monday rolls around!

It's been one of those week's and thanks for the support. It just got to me with the loss of the tie. Having had do many people in my case over the last year and absolutely fucking trivial things like stupid scruffy uniform reported to social workers and then they make a meal of it when my pissed up X assaulted dd1 in a hospital and the response was "well you got there and got them to safety" and that was the total of it, just wears a body down.

This weekend talked the shitpit that the flat has become, take the dds swimming Saturday. Send them off for contact afternoon with X and do a shop Sunday.

Try to plan a better week, realise that I've possibly bitten off more than I can chew Monday. Dd1 has hospital consultants visit in morning then 2 hours late dd1&2 have dental appointment. I badly planned that one. I obviously want to make my life as hard as possible.

Thanks everyone for the nice words