Being a single mum is proper graft isn't it - come on in single mums

[Janeyscleavage]

And no you can't join if you 'feel like a single mum because your husband works long hours'

fencingwire It is what it is. Today I am well. :)

FV45 I don't iron. As long as their clothes are happy and they're washed that's good enough for me. I tend to check bags at the weekend as have been caught out before by squidgy bags of rotting lunch! PE kits go in weekly - again just a case of washing. Sometimes I do packed lunches, sometimes they have school dinners. When I'm on top of things I home bake for their morning snacks - going to do cheese straws later. I suppose we have the added advantage that being self-employed and not tied to an office, we're not required to ensure our tights aren't laddered and our collars stiff!

I'm impressed with your running - it's something I've never been able to get in to properly. Apparently my technique is good, I just find it loathsome. The only times I've really enjoyed it is more "trail running" when I've gone out in the forest with the dog. Maybe I should try that again - although I'll wait until my energy returns.

As far as being self-employed goes - I'm looking for self-employed single mums who don't have a website (or have a very shit one) to be Beta clients for me (i.e., free).

chuckles That's shit, I'm sorry to hear he's dicking you around like that. Yesterday at drop-off as I was getting back in the car I heard my youngest say "you didn't come to my birthday". He didn't phone either. I didn't invite him to the party as he didn't show up to the last one as he was with his gf... one day I'll be able to tell them the truth about why their father wasn't interested! Right now I have to just say "awww dad was probably really busy".

napssavelives When I left my ex I got the children a book called "It's Not Your Fault Koko Bear" which is currently in the charity shop pile, but I'd be happy to stick it in the post for you. It explains that mummys and daddys sometimes don't live together usually because the daddy is an utter cock and has gone too far this time . My youngest says he's going to live with me forever and ever and ever and sleep in my bed when he's a grown-up so I'll never be alone. Which frankly is the last way I'd like to see my retirement panning out!

Clothes are clean - happy clothes are of course an awesome bonus.

@ZigZagZombie that would be so lovely of you if that’s ok? I’m not sure how joe message you my address as on phone atm. Going for the keeping busy technique atm

I need help, I've waged toxic chemical warfare on dd2s scalp, the kind banned by the the UN in an effort to do away with nits, she's left with some dead eggs stuck to hair strands, I've used white vinegar spray and combs.

I'm surprised I haven't been arrested by the UN for hair crimes against children judging by the screams combing out the fucking things.

How do I now get dd2 hair done?

Every time I go to a hair salon, they say no, she's got nits.

Why won't they cut her hair?

Last time four of them stood around around her discussing some shit before saying no yet again. Dd2 was really upset by the snark.

Would I have more luck with a mobile hairdresser?

What is their bloody issue?

I mean there was all that fuss about the family who shaved their daughters head. If dd2 was ds2 there'd be no issue.

I am at a loss what to do

Disney first dry comb repeatedly with a nitty gritty comb, over a basin, see how many nits/eggs come out Then lather cheap conditioner into damp hair, and comb repeatedly until no nits/eggs come out. Rinse out conditioner thoroughly, then go through again with the comb, then blow dry her hair and comb again. As soon as possible after this, take DD for a walk in hair cut.

Wash all bedding, including pillows and duvet quilt, at least 60 degrees OR tumble dry all bed linen. Do a thorough vacuum of all carpets.

Nitty Gritty is the only comb that works properly IME.

Alberto Balsam tea-tree conditioner (the really cheap Tesco one made my kids scalp swell) and a nitty-gritty. Get biscuits, cake, hot chocolate. Sit on the sofa, them on the floor between your knees, put a film on. Comb, comb, comb. Wipe on kitchen paper after each stroke and rinse in a bowl of hot water from time to time.

Inbetween treatments the Vosene repellant shampoo and spray seems to have worked for mine too.

It’s a ball ache. Little fuckers. (The nits, not the DCs).

And you know you can get nit treatment free from the chemist? I didn’t know this for the first 15 years of parenting. 😡

Well I'll definitely be asking for free nit kit as I get free prescriptions for my diabetes.

I've done all if that stuff, including Vosene (her hair looks really clean after that Treseme etc is greasy cheap bollocks that clogs drains).

It's more that attitude of the hair stylists, that I can't deal with. Isn't this what barbicide is for?

Oh and make sure you comb it in sections. Separate sections using a tail comb and clip them out of the way. Work on one section and a time. Get right into the root where the buggers cling on. It takes forever.

I wish more dads would dontheor DDs hair. My girls dance and when the dads stand there waiting for one of us to do a pony tail on their DD it drives me mad. Just as mums assuming the dads are hopeless and do it for them.

I have an irrational worry that used to really upset me. One of those thoughts that gets in your head and tears spring into your eyes: if anything happened to me, who would do the girls hair every day?
(Might just be me though 🙃)

The chemist will ask to see ‘evidence’ so take some dead lice stuck to a piece of paper with sticky tape.

Love being a parent #blessed

Are there any children’s hairdresser who are mobile? Ask on a local FB group. They’ll have seen it all before and no public shaming!

I used to be a hairdresser and one salon I worked in had a rule that if any nits are found you stop cutting their hair, throw away gown and clean everywhere. Just slightly dramatic. I don't think I ever had to do it but I did turn away a few people though

O4FS Who will look after the dds if I'm hospitalised or dead is a major worry of mine.

I've lost weight, quit smoking, bang out 5-6 mile's a day. Made a will, directed "death in service" to trustees who are my solicitors, taken out staggered life insurances, life assurance for the dds. All with the caveat that Xries not touch it if either are under 18. Mainly as it will be frittered away in zero minutes.

I can't afford independent school for them at the time being but I'm going to have a discussion with the bursar of our local boarding school to see if I can arrange something in case if my death.

God that's morbid - but it is a huge worry

back to "lighter" stuff,I have a full on Mexican standoff with my 2, they gave lots of hair I have none. As they point out "how do I know what it's like?". That's true. For me knots = sissors

I spend a chunk of money every month on life insurance, have a will, everything insured and covered. Proper grown up stuff. Doesn’t sit well.

Tangle Tamer. They are magical for knots.

I gave tangle tamers De tangling comb, three sorts of brush, two sorts of deranging spray, just stared using medicated vosene on dd2 (it's good, proper stuff) dd1 uses Aussie Miracle. Various hair clips and several sorts of nit comb. Those ones with the spiral pattern are absolute bastards on dd2 hair as it's so fine. Fuck knows what dd1 has growing out of her head, but now she's 13 it's nothing to do with me.

Thoughts and prayers it is then!

I need to do some of that adult stuff.
Felt pretty adult today, went to Homebase and bought paint!

Well done Naps! Spring is in the air and it’s quite motivating! Will you be painting today?

Thanks guys. It means a lot venting here. I dont with people in real life anynore as they must be sick of it... i sure am.

Im also embaressed about his behaviour and how it may show i lack something or how I could do something better... fix it somehow.

I hope people are having peaceful sundays x

I don’t vent in RL - or even talk about the difficulties of being a single parent - because I don’t want anyone to think I haven’t got this.

.

Zombie I don't think I meet your criteria for what you need. I am self employed but solely for administrative reasons as my head office (and where my wages come from) is overseas. So I set myself up as a company. I don't need to advertise my work via a website.

No problem FV45. :)

I can't get life insurance. Because I have a MH diagnosis they won't touch with a barge-pole. I'm trying to save like a lunatic to buy a flat in their name so at least they will always have a roof over their heads. As for guardians - I'm potentially going to ask a friend next time I see her. My ex and his family will thwart any ambition they might have to lead an extraordinary life. My sister is a fucking nightmare. At least my parents have stuck so much in a trust for them they'll have plenty of options later.

@O4FS will be starting tomorrow, plan to decorate the boys bedroom then do a nursery for the baby. Only been In the house about 18 months - done a few bits but as it’s a new build it’s all very livable. Want to get the boys room all nice for them before the baby comes as I’ll be pretty busy for a while!

@ZigZagZombie I didn’t know you can’t get life insurance with a MH diagnsosis . I have one (or two) .. will need to investigate