Dh has asked me to find a job. I don’t want to

[moneyunsure]

We have quite a lot of debt. Dh thinks that if I work we can clear the debt quicker. I think we just need to budget more.

I think that I’m better off at home looking after the dc (3 school age and a baby). Dh thinks I could manage working school hours but this would then mean we would have to pay for nursery and also I want to be at home with the baby and have anxiety so I don’t want to work.

I have argued that I can save us as much as I’d potentially earn by cutting out all luxuries and having an even smaller budget and just cutting back. So financially the outcome would be the same ??

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue dangerous nonsense, wtf are you talking about?

Medication is a life saver for some and it often requires a bit of trial and error to find one which is right for you. It's not forever, but can help get you on an even keel to then continue working on the problem. Please ignore this person's 'advice'.

Op you're very welcome and I wish you loads of luck in finding successful treatment and moving forward with your life

Medication is a life saver for some and it often requires a bit of trial and error to find one which is right for you. It's not forever, but can help get you on an even keel to then continue working on the problem. Please ignore this person's 'advice'.

ehohtinkywinky What is wrong with my advice exactly?

She’s been on Citalopram for years and it’s not helping. As I have said previously, medication should only be used as a tool to lessen your anxiety alongside therapy, because medication does not cure or address the root cause, it just masks the symptoms.

I have been exactly where OP is and fully recovered; I know what I’m talking about.

@moneyunsure.

I think maybe you underestimate yourself.

You have already made the really positive step to see your doctor.

You are taking on this work for your mother.

I really hope working some hours and clearing this debt helps your self esteem as it is obvious to me you need a confidence boost.

Yes these are small steps but I think you should be very proud of yourself. Once you manage these you can build up to doing more.

I know there have been a lot of negative comments that must be horrible to read but a lot of us are trying to support you.

You can do this.

I really hope you come back in a few months feeling happier. Wishing you and your family all the best.

How are you going these days @moneyunsure?

At 10 months my baby was still up half the night. No way could I have worked evenings. Most mums haven’t gone back from maternity leave then. But when they do it’s day times. I was in bed by 8 every night when mine were that little.

Childminders are cheaper op. I used to work three hours a day (at first) when mine were small. Mornings. It meant I got a break from the baby and an adult conversation plus money! Once in school I worked more hours for same company and stayed some ten years.

It also really helped my confidence and anxiety to have the routine and the break from baby.

ZOMBIE.
Posted 2 years ago.
I expect things have changed a bit.

@Chipsahoy

At 10 months my baby was still up half the night. No way could I have worked evenings. Most mums haven’t gone back from maternity leave then. But when they do it’s day times. I was in bed by 8 every night when mine were that little.

Childminders are cheaper op. I used to work three hours a day (at first) when mine were small. Mornings. It meant I got a break from the baby and an adult conversation plus money! Once in school I worked more hours for same company and stayed some ten years.

It also really helped my confidence and anxiety to have the routine and the break from baby.

I know this is an old thread but this new post......really? We all go back to days?

What do you imagine every shift working mother does?

You can’t seriously think there isn’t a female nurse/doctor/cop/paramedic in the country with a ten month old?

@Chipsahoy Where do you get this idea that most mums go back to work in daytime hours only?

@ItsCokeFFS

Don’t you ever want to find out how the story ends?

I want to know!

Get a Saturday/Sunday morning job which has early hours, then you are home after lunch for a lovely afternoon and evening with dc. Similarly, get an evening job twice per week. Or, get some work from home admin hours a few nights a week when DP is home to chip off a few hundred a month.

I understand completely not going full time with DC, the expenses with nursery etc can make it not worth it.

[quote PurpleSneakers]@ItsCokeFFS

Don’t you ever want to find out how the story ends?[/quote]
It's fine if the OP comes back with an update themselves, but resurrected zombie threads just result in everyone replying to the original post without the slightest bit of interest in what over 800 other people have said.