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Dh has asked me to find a job. I don’t want to

888 replies

moneyunsure · 12/01/2019 16:07

We have quite a lot of debt. Dh thinks that if I work we can clear the debt quicker. I think we just need to budget more.

I think that I’m better off at home looking after the dc (3 school age and a baby). Dh thinks I could manage working school hours but this would then mean we would have to pay for nursery and also I want to be at home with the baby and have anxiety so I don’t want to work.

I have argued that I can save us as much as I’d potentially earn by cutting out all luxuries and having an even smaller budget and just cutting back. So financially the outcome would be the same ??

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 14/01/2019 22:27

Jesus Graphista. I know you’re free to post what you want but I don’t suppose I’m the only person here that skips straight past your posts. They are so unbelievably long that I can’t be bothered to plough my way through them.

RomanyRoots · 15/01/2019 00:02

Alexa

That's such a shame for you, definitely missing out there.

Graphista Thanks Thanks Thanks

Graphista · 15/01/2019 00:44

Thanks RomanyRoots Thanks

Frequency that makes sense given the new information. Good that you're finding ways to keep her doing things that make her anxious without pushing her too hard. It's a fine balance isn't it? And not one I've yet cracked myself. The problem I'm having and am speaking to my cpn about to try and find solutions is that after a small success and when meds are working well I can get OVER optimistic, do more than I'm ready for, push it too hard and then exhaustion and trying to cope with triggers before I'm ready causes relapses.

To be honest the Cmht have also been guilty of thinking I'm doing better than I am and signing me off before I'm ready without a plan in place for difficulties (I said this to my current cpn when I first got her and it turns out they had a new 'boss' just prior to my meeting her who'd reviewed their 'frequent flyers' and noticed it was a problem for others too not just me. So that boss has implemented new procedures to try and avoid that happening).

As I say I'm worst I've ever been but I'm TRYING to focus on and remember that it HAS been better in the past and to work towards that. But I also know I can't do it alone.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

HeyThoughIWalk · 15/01/2019 09:45

OP, I think you're getting a bit of a hard time on here from people who don't understand how all-consuming and exhausting anxiety can be. People saying things like "but if you do the school run and go to toddler groups you can get a job". That's not the case at all.

You may well be able to drag yourself out of the house and get the kids to school, but it might be a monumental effort and leave you exhausted. Toddler groups much the same (plus, you can LEAVE a toddler group early if you get anxious; in work you generally can't).

People saying "make more effort to go to work, push yourself into doing things you find uncomfortable" may not realise that you've used all your effort just to get out of the house, and that getting out of bed makes you uncomfortable.

You sound like you have very little confidence, which can easily happen if you spend many years looking after kids and just "surviving". It's almost understandable that you don't want to work, because that involves putting effort into a lot of other things that people take for granted - wearing decent clothes, doing make up, making small talk with colleagues etc (depending on the job obviously). Those can all be, individually, overwhelming to think about when you haven't done them for years.

But I think you'll find that dealing with your anxiety will help a lot with changing your attitude. It sounds like Citalopram isn't working brilliantly for you. There are other meds, and options like counselling. In your shoes I think step 1 is to get to the GP and discuss this. Explain that you need to get back to work, but your anxiety is making it too overwhelming. Ask whether you could be referred for counselling, or whether they think different medication would help more.

Do things to build your confidence. Some places allow you to volunteer on an ad-hoc basis, rather than committing to a certain time each week. Try that and you may discover skills you didn't know you had. It will also take your mind off yourself for a while, which will change how you think about things.

Try a simple mindfulness app (Headspace is good, but there are others), or look up relaxation exercises on YouTube.

You say you don't go to the supermarket. Try going some day. Not to do a big shop - just go in have a browse, maybe buy some milk. Keep doing it until you're just on auto-pilot and not even thinking about being anxious.

Basically do all you can to deal with the anxiety, and see where it leads. In a couple of months you might find yourself wanting to get a job, but even if you don't, you'll find it easier to make yourself do it. And it will show your DH that you're making effort.

Little changes will make a difference to your thought patterns, and that's a good step towards beating the anxiety.

TacoLover · 15/01/2019 10:31

Plus how ANYONE can think a mother of 4 including a bf baby is LAZY is utterly ridiculous!

I mean...one of them is a baby and the rest of them are school age. It's not like she's running around all day looking after them. I'm not saying she's lazy at all but having 4 children doesn't automatically make you some super mum, you're acting like she spends her entire day looking after 4 feral animals when I'm reality three of them are at school and one of them is a 10 month old. She had four kids, doesn't make her not lazy.

vuripadexo · 15/01/2019 10:49

AlexaAmbidextra Jesus Graphista. I know you’re free to post what you want but I don’t suppose I’m the only person here that skips straight past your posts. They are so unbelievably long that I can’t be bothered to plough my way through them.

Yes it was torture to read.

Graphista - you seem to be mixing up anxiety and a learning disability. Having anxiety doesn't mean you need to be treated like a child and coddled. Most people with anxiety understand how their anxiety works and that they are actively engaging in strategies to deal with it.

You keep basically saying "don't tell the truth to the OP because she has anxiety and it will make it worse". That's not how chronic anxiety works at all. It doesn't make you childlike and helpless. In fact treating the anxiety that OP can't understand is extremely unhelpful and untrue.

The reason the OP lacks confidence is not because of anxiety but because of being out of the workplace. Honestly your issues don't sound like chronic anxiety AT ALL. They sound like other mental illnesses that you are boxing under anxiety for the sake of lecturing other people on this thread. I don't think you should lecture people as if you are a psychologist when you pretty clearly have many many problems that go way beyond chronic or severe anxiety.

The advice the OP is getting is completely appropriate for CHRONIC ANXIETY. Exposure therapy, working through the fears rationally, using medication, behavioral techniques, building back up to feared activities - these things WORK.

You are the only one on the thread arguing that these things do not work and OP shouldn't try and also we should all coddle OP because anxiety makes you stupid apparently. You clearly don't have or understand chronic anxiety.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 15/01/2019 10:56

Unfortunately anxiety is exacerbated by not facing it. If you get work anxiety or social anxiety the best thing you can do it go back to work. Add that to your debts and that’s another reason to work. I know your dh has responsibilities but having dc isn’t a ‘get out of work free card’ if you’ve got debt or can’t afddird your existence then you need to work. I’d love not to work, but I can’t afford to retire early so I go to work. As someone else said, you could work weekends or when your dh doesn’t work. You’d get your time with dc after school etc. It’s not ideal but afraid unless you’ve got money stacked away somewhere you need to make sacrifices. I doubt you could budget better and scrape back the same as a monthly salary

FaFoutis · 15/01/2019 11:46

There should be a word limit on posts.

RomanyRoots · 15/01/2019 12:01

vuripadexo

You are entitled to your opinion. I find graphista quite knowledgeable, anxiety comes in many forms. Yes, you are right with your comments above, but if you know anything about anxiety you know it doesn't work like that.
I did all the positive solutions once because I was unable to hold down a job, I needed to pay bills.
In the end I was agoraphobic for 18 months, because I forced myself to find a job when I wasn't up to it.
So small steps and facing your fear doesn't always work.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/01/2019 14:00

A bit mean to Graphista, wasn't it? Sad

We might not always agree on everything, but I've learned a heck of a lot from her interesting pieces on all kinds of issues ... and anyway I didn't think we were supposed to police each other's posts?

Janedoe5000 · 15/01/2019 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MillicentSnitch · 15/01/2019 14:28

Good luck, OP. If you're near an Aldi or Lidl, I'd definitely go in there to try to start getting over any anxiety in supermarkets - you will see the savings you can make straight away, which should be quite an incentive.

ImNotKitten · 15/01/2019 14:53

It can be used to justify anything you do / do not want to do.

WTF.

vuripadexo · 15/01/2019 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ as it quotes a deleted post.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 15/01/2019 15:27

*Janedoe5000 Tue 15-Jan-19 14:24:06
This thread has taught me that anxiety is identical to fibromyalgia in that:

  1. No two people can offer the same description or definition of what anxiety is
BUT
  1. It can be used to justify anything you do / do not want to do*

Yes!

I feel sorry for those who genuinely have anxiety issues as there are people out there who use it as an excuse to not do anything

RomanyRoots · 15/01/2019 16:59

this thread has been absolutely disgusting and I'm surprised it's still standing.
I wish you the best of luck, OP. In your own time, little steps and if people don't like it "Fuck em"

Aridane · 15/01/2019 18:34

If people don’t like it, fuck ‘em- what, including OP’s DH?

RomanyRoots · 15/01/2019 18:39

I don't know the OP or her dh, so maybe, depending on her illness and support from her dh.
Mine is really supportive and I'm sure I'll find a job much sooner than if he was an unsupporting twat. It makes a huge difference having support to take those first baby steps.

SemperIdem · 15/01/2019 21:09

Romany - it’s been 20 years.

Schuyler · 15/01/2019 21:22

Let’s be honest, this thread would have gone differently if OP had said words to the effect of “I am unable to work due to severe anxiety but DH is encouraging me to work. Despite trying various treatments for my mental health problems, I am still too ill to work.” From following it, it seems the anxiety is part of OP not working but she was also talking about other factors like, not wanting time away from her children and childcare costs. These are obviously understandable but can be overcome. If she’s too ill to work, that is another matter.

RomanyRoots · 15/01/2019 21:32

Schuyler

We don't know the OP or her dh, but there is nothing in her posts that I don't relate to, quite uncanny really.

Semperidem

What has time got to do with it. My anxiety has been debilitating at times over 30 years, let alone 20.
We don't know what OP is capable of doing at the moment. She's doing fine if she is surviving and functioning.

HeyThoughIWalk · 15/01/2019 21:45

OP, another question that I haven't seen asked/answered... WHY don't you want to work? Is it because you're thinking "I have much more interesting things to do with my time?". Or because you're thinking "Work will be too difficult and I'll end up humiliating myself by failing at it?".

If it's the first, you're being unreasonable.

If it's the second, then you really can help yourself by dealing with the anxiety.

I guess what I'm asking is, "Do you wish you wanted to work?". Would you like to reach a point where you thought "I'd love to be able to get a job and earn some money", even if you can't imagine yourself ever thinking that?

Schuyler · 15/01/2019 21:46

RomanyRoots I was only commenting on the way the OP chose to present her situation. I think this is partly why she has the responses she has.

vuripadexo · 15/01/2019 22:25

RomanyRoots

Will you be picking up the pieces if her DH leaves? Will you be financially supporting her?

What's really disgusting is people who love to mess with other people's lives even knowing there are real people behind the page. I know there are people who live vicariously through telling other women to LTB but trying to turn this woman against her DH when she's indicated absolutely no evidence of wrongdoing AND when she's in a horrifically vulnerable position is just plain evil. It's sick.

We all know that most of the LTB screaming keyboard warriors would never say boo to their own worthless husbands which is why they need the catharsis of pretending to be empowered on the internet.

joanmcc · 15/01/2019 22:52

We all know that most of the LTB screaming keyboard warriors would never say boo to their own worthless husbands

I disagree. Most are single and miserable and begrudge others a relationship.

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