Why are some people successful?

[Gwenhwyfar]

I'd like to get your opinions on why some people are successful (particularly at work, but also in general) and others are unsuccessful. I'm looking for personality types and soft skills rather than hard skills I understand that someone with a masters in a STEM subject might have a better chance of making money than someone with a BA in an Arts subject or just GCSEs, but I'm thinking more of things like being confident, being positive, being sociable and why do you think some people have those qualities and others don't. Is it down to early childhood or are they things that can change throughout our lives?

Luck, ability to make friends and influence people, willingness to take risks, having a clear sense of direction and willingness to work hard to make it happen.

There is always an element of luck. It might only be small in some cases but it's there. And I say that a former careers adviser and someone who researches and teaches career management skills.
I can pin point particular elements of my career where luck played a part..... but ultimately my planning and attitude meant I made the best of and chance or luck.

There's an excellent video on YouTube called luck is no accident....it's old but still extremely relevant.

Social and cultural capital play a huge part too.

I would definitely say that circumstances help. My parents were quite wealthy when I was growing up (not later but that's another story). They gave me a private education at a leading school. That's absolutely been a factor, I'm sure, in framing my ambition and career choices.

OTOH my MH has not been great and one of the things I do at work is promote awareness of MH issues.

I think attitude is a lot of it.

It’s also funny how the hardest working, most selfless and most focused are also the luckiest.....

I find it depressing that people think they have done things all off their own back, without acknowledging in any circumstance that they have been fortunate. In fact, I wouldn't consider those people successful, as they seem to have failed to acquire any emotional intelligence along the way.

It's a balance, I just don't believe being lucky is the only route. None of us is an island, of course not, but with brevity of Information here, I was saying there's a lot within our grasp that doesn't require luck (see my above post for 10 examples on how to beat your own path to success).

What about the high percentage of big lottery winners who end up in poverty. You can have all the luck in the world but it gets you nowhere if you waste the opportunity!

It's the age old debate about determinism versus free-will - is our life already predetermined for us, over which we have very little influence, or are there things in life, even when all the cards are stacked against us, that we can do to improve our circumstances. The trouble is success in the capitalist world tends to be measured by a person's job, whether they have money, how many holidays they take. If they work for a charity, or in a hospital, people don't go "wow they're so successful" which is a travesty. Why aren't they seen to be successful? It's people perception of success

The value I place on peace of mind and relationships will be a totally different measure of success to the next person's definition. Working in a charity or at a hospital, or as a CEO (just examples!) you can apply the same 10 principles in my previous post, and be "successful"

Which is why the theory I posted earlier is an excellent description of how people are successful in there career planning. It's a mixture of planning, luck and attitude......

daisy that is so true. There was a thread on here about having a “simple” life and it resonated with me far more than the capitalist notions of “success”.

Indeed, maybe when we all strive for success to mean enough to have peace of mind, good relationships and a connection to the earth, will we all stop buying so much stuff we don’t need that we bugger the planet

*their

Reading this thread reminded me of this

I think that major contributing factors to being successful are:

Good physical health
Lots of energy
Good sleeper and not needing much sleep
Able to learn fast
Able to retain information
Able to make friends

Someone could have a good education and family support, but if they lack the above qualities they won’t get very far.

For me it’s a combination of getting a entry level job at a medium size company that trained/prompted me (luck) as well as using the skills I had learnt at Uni (privallege) and trying to learn as much as I could, be useful, then indispensable, then asking for more and more responsibility and then my results showing how good I was at the job. (Hard work and strategy)

I’m not naturally a very confident person (the opposite actually) but my success and experiance has given me more confidence.

There are lots of people who have started in the same entry level roll as me (I’ve been with my company for 12 years) and I’ve seen many not succeed. It comes down to them not being very good at their job. To break that down: not learning skills required to progress and taking the initiative to teach themselves, no motivation. Not understanding that in order to get opportunities to grow you HAVE to be excellent in the job you’ve been given and show your work ethic (I took as much pride in my entry level job which involved making tea for clients, cleaning etc as I do in my senior role)

That’s my experiance.

"Tell me any of the above is down to luck!"

I would say most/all of them are as they're personality traits or things you're brought up with.
I would disagree with some of them leading to success though. I don't know many people who've had great career because they've been 'on time'.

"Gwen are you able to reframe your thoughts though?"

Thanks for the advice, but I don't really want to be told how to think. I'm happy with my own opinions on things.
I find the 'be happy with what you have' line quite patronising sometimes as well and I think it's sometimes there to keep people in their place, not you necessarily.

"I also definitely don't really have goals! "

Thank God I'm not the only one.

Eh, I had/have a brilliant career and several ‘unicorn’ jobs and I am never or rarely on time - I work in an industry where it doesn’t matter and most people I know are the same. What do you think the hiring team are going to say: ‘she’s strategically brilliant and has a grasp of where we need to be in five years, an encyclopaedic knowledge of the industry, strong finance skills yet is fundamentally a true creative, and a good manager of people, but she routinely comes in at 9.05 (even thought she always works late and at weekends) so we won’t hire her’ maybe in lots of industries but not mine.

but I'm thinking more of things like being confident, being positive, being sociable and why do you think some people have those qualities and others don't. Is it down to early childhood or are they things that can change throughout our lives?

I think you can change those things during your life. I had zero confidence at school due to awful bullying. I literally couldn't even read out in class, and would fake illness to avoid presentations/talks etc. Same in my early working life - painfully shy/quiet in my first couple of jobs and wouldn't go to any parties/events, etc. Yet, a few years ago, our local village library was closed down. No one seemed to do anything about it, so put on my big girls knickers and started emailing local councillors, local village groups etc to try to hype up some support to take it over as a village amenity. I was surprised at the positivity and enthusiasm, but my aim at this stage was just to start something and hope someone else would take it over. A local councillor came to see me, and made all the right noises and organised a village meeting to gauge support. I expected him to "chair" the meeting, which he did at first, but then introduced me (sat in the back corner!) and called me up on stage and basically left me to it. Rabbit in the headlights time. But I got through it, and even got a standing ovation! We ended up with over a 100 people keen on helping/volunteering and another follow up meeting to form a committee. Unfortunately (or fortunately!), I couldn't attend as I was on holiday, so I expected them to just run with it and my aim was to sit in the background, doing back office work, leaflet distribution, volunteering if we ever opened it, etc., but when I got back, I'd been voted as the chairperson which I reluctantly accepted. In the end, we got it reopened and I played a very big part throughout the process, including local media interviews, etc. So, cut a long story short, yes, you can change and improve your confidence. social abilities, personality etc., but you need to believe in something, whether that be yourself or someone/something important to you. I think we all have hidden strengths.

Thanks for the advice, but I don't really want to be told how to think

I don't know many people who've had great career because they've been 'on time'

Sadly it's evident from your negativity you have a closed-minded attitude and lack the insight to see that being on time isn't the key to the universe, but in the context of things one can do to help oneself, it's in everyone's gift to show commitment, to be there at the time agreed, and demonstrate you give a damn. Your choice not to be receptive to such ideas.

It's pretty exhausting trying to get engagement from someone who doesn't seem to show any spark of positivity so I won't bother.

I think a stable a loving childhood helps a lot. There are plenty of very intelligent/creative victims of abuse, or very chaotic childhoods, that suffer with crippling lack of self esteem, anxiety etc.

I had a terrible childhood , left home at 16. I think this made me incredibly resilient and driven. I have been told on many occasions I am one of the most stubborn and determined people they have met , I am also kind and hardworking .
It true that I never think of failure as an option and if things don't t quite work out then I look for ways around it to still achieve my goal . I think if I had a motto it would be - " don't ask why but instead ask why not ?"
I am one of the most successful in my profession but I really enjoy what I do so it helps.

Your choice about where you invest your time daisychain, but that did seem a bit unnecessarily harsh for a mere disagreement with your suggestion.

Like a pp, I am often in at 9.05 (or 9.25!) but I do that because it makes zero difference. When I worked in a callcentre, or in jobs where you're handing over to a colleague, it does count, and I was always on time then. But in the jobs I choose nowadays if someone bangs on about how long and when my bottom is in a seat and not my results, then I know I'm in the wrong job. And tbh, I started at varied times when I was in an entry level role for the industry I now work in - so it isn't just seniority. It just didn't matter as much as knowing my job well.

Perhaps you could widen your own perceptions a little? There are many different routes to success, and it's not necessary to insult someone for not choosing yours.

The importance placed on punctuality can vary depending on sector and individual roles. If I'm timetabled to deliver a lecture at 9am then punctuality is important and failure to turn up on time would impact on my future success. On data where I don't teach it doesn't matter what time I get in.

Punctuality in early career and as you're building a reputation can be very important

Posted too early.....
The point I was making is you shouldn't dismiss quite basic skills just because that doesn't apply to you right now.

Can be but isn't always so, was my point. Getting in at 9am vs 9.05 will make no difference for a trainee developer if you can't code. That's my point. I don't even know what time my new grads have got in over the years tbh. They turned up every day and learned shit - so I was happy.

But if they regularly turned at 9.05 for a 9am meeting surely you'd get pretty pissed off? I had a placement student turn up at 9.15 every day when we'd asked him to be in at 9. His excuse...to get in at 9 he'd have to get an earlier bus 🙄
Needless to say he wasn't employed at the end of his placement because punctuality and attitude was important.

Timekeeping always features on lists of what skills and qualities employers are looking for.