If the woman wants to keep the baby and the man doesn't, who, in your opinion takes precedence?

[bearfood]

Just that really. Wondering what people's opinions are. Woman wants to keep it, man doesn't, neither will change their mind. What's the solution? Just looking for peoples thoughts really. Am very fragile so please be kind. So as not to drip feed, relationship of 6 months, pregnancy unplanned, couple love each other but can't agree and will probably break up if she keeps it (from what he has said). Pregnancy is 8 weeks along. Man wanted the baby at first then changed his mind. Woman has always wanted it from day one.

Doesn't change my opinion knowing her age or what contraception she may or may not have been using, he is responsible for his own fertility and as many people have said, an adult man with half a brain knows there's a chance it can fail so if he does not want a baby he should not rely on someone else's contraception, he can co trial what happens to his own body and has others choices available than ejaculating inside a woman without a condom.

Womans.

In some cases, thats a pity, but it has to be.

@NameNotImportant show me any human, male or female, who has refused sex until the time they are 100% sure they want to be a parent. Biology doesn’t work that way and it’s not a responsibility that is wholly male or whole female anyway. Many a woman has used sex to trap a man. :-) (Hijack done)

The woman’s. Always. Always

he has said he is definitely staying with her if they abort, he 'doesn't know' if he is staying with her if she keeps it.

And this is a massive red flag to get the fuck out of that relationship right now. "I love you and will stay with you … but only as long as you are doing what I want you to."

he has said he is definitely staying with her if they abort, he 'doesn't know' if he is staying with her if she keeps it.

And this is a massive red flag to get the fuck out of that relationship right now. "I love you and will stay with you … but only as long as you are doing what I want you to."

This. He is not worth staying with. He is certainly not worth getting rid of a much wanted child for.

This happened to me op. I was with my ex for a year and what I thought was a committed relationship. We agreed to try for a baby due to my age but when I fell pregnant he panicked and said all those things your oh is saying .
There was no doubt I wanted the child , I told him I'd have the baby with or without him. He stuck around but made my life s misery. He absolutely adores ds and is a good dad but we are not a couple any more. I will never forget or forgive his words.

My son is the best thing that ever happened to me

Oh, and 'if they abort'. They are not aborting anything, she is the one who is pregnant and will undergo a procedure on her body that she does not want.

It's the woman's choice. I have two sons around the ages of the couple concerned here. I have told them since they were young teenagers that it is the woman's choice once a pregnancy happens, so be bloody careful

@NameNotImportant thank you. Nearly 20 years later it's still something I struggle to cope with.

@bearfood please get your daughter to read this thread.

Does anybody change their opinion if I tell you their ages? She is 18 he is 21.

No my opinion is the same. It is 100% her decision but she should make it based on the high likelihood they wont remain a couple either way and she will be doing it as a single mum, albeit with support from her mum but still her responsibility 24/7..

The only difference is at 18 the high likelihood of them not remaining a couple is even higher. No decision should be weighted by whether she thinks he will stay.

No to men being either allowed to tell women they have to have babies or to tell them they must abort.

They are not the ones with the baby inside them, them making these decisions is to allow them decisions ovef the health and welfare of a body that belongs to someone else.

Just a nope from me.

With teh "I'll stay with you if you abort" stuff it's coercion -

I do understand though an approach that you'd rather not have a child but if there is going to be one you want to know it and I think that is fair enough.

The woman in this situation makes the decision.

At those ages, this scenario likely plays out in one of two ways

1. she has an abortion. They date for a little while longer and break up
2. she keeps the baby. At some point between tomorrow and a year from now, the strain of pregnancy/baby will cause them to break up. She will then be a single parent, forever linked to this man.

The odds of a storybook ending are close to zero. There is no best decision, only the best decision she can make for herself at them time. The sooner she understands that, the happier she will be.

I wish her luck and wisdom in the days ahead and hope she finds happiness whatever she decides.

Plenty of people co-parent quite happily with their ex partner, Purple, and even go on to remarry happily. It's not the end of the world to be a single parent.

Woman.

Absolutely the woman's decision but I think your daughter should be encouraged to really think about this and the implications that it has for the rest of her life.

Ignoring what this boy wants or doesn't want if your daughter goes ahead with the pregnancy she will be linked to this boy forever and facing years of him involved in her life.

A PP was right. There are no winners in this.

He's a 21 year old man. Not a boy.

If she's already pregnant, she gets the final say. Unless the man is going to physically drag her to an abortion clinic...?

The person who DOESN'T want the baby takes priority. You ARE forcing him to become a father and it is entirely unfair.

Forced abortion is a good idea in your world, makeahouse?

Nice

They used to do that in China didn't they.

Giving others rights over what medical procedures are done to a womans body rarely ends well for women.

I suspect you know that though really!

I'm afraid that the relationship is dead in the water if the having/not having of an abortion is a condition of whether to stay together.

A woman not wanting an abortion should never ever be made to feel she has to have one

No one is forcing him to be a father. He allowed himself to become a father by not taking any responsibility for contraception.

MakeAHouse>

Many men get cold feet at various points through pregnancy.
Do you have a time limit after which point they are unable to force the woman who is carrying their baby, to abort?
Maybe in line with current laws which is 24 weeks I think?
What about girls > do the men who make them pregnant also get the say? I remember there was a girl in rotherham who was victim of a grooming gang who had been marched to the clinic two or three times for abortion, by the much older man. No questions were asked, which many see now as a failing. His right though,you say? Or would you make exceptions in cases such as these. What exceptions would you make?

What does your law look like, where the man chooses whether a woman gives birth or not?