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Original poster

If the woman wants to keep the baby and the man doesn't, who, in your opinion takes precedence?

274 replies

bearfood · 31/12/2018 00:17

Just that really. Wondering what people's opinions are. Woman wants to keep it, man doesn't, neither will change their mind. What's the solution? Just looking for peoples thoughts really. Am very fragile so please be kind. So as not to drip feed, relationship of 6 months, pregnancy unplanned, couple love each other but can't agree and will probably break up if she keeps it (from what he has said). Pregnancy is 8 weeks along. Man wanted the baby at first then changed his mind. Woman has always wanted it from day one.

OP posts:
Starlight456 · 31/12/2018 00:27

It’s obviously you. I have read a few posts in this subject lately.

If he is going to leave because she has the baby or forces an abortion the relationship is doomed.

She always gets the final say. She signs the medical consent.

He doesn’t. Get to decide.

If you don’t want an abortion never have one to Placate someone else

AlecTrevelyan006 · 31/12/2018 00:28

The woman’s choice takes priority

longnight · 31/12/2018 00:29

Woman's choice everytime. Just to point out if man wanted baby first he doesn't then get to change his mind when that becomes a reality.

If man is saying he'll leave then let him honestly I had 1 that did that to me they are not worth it and the more they push the more damaging to your mental health it will be.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
SinisterClownWatchingYou · 31/12/2018 00:29

Always the woman's choice. He should also pay maintenance. If he didn't want to be taking that risk then he shouldn't be having unprotected sex.

GunpowderGelatine · 31/12/2018 00:29

There is no precedence. ONLY the woman's opinion matters.

Ceecee18 · 31/12/2018 00:31

Every time a man has sex with a woman of child-bearing age, even using protection, there is a risk of conception. He takes that risk. That is where his choice starts and finishes. If there is conception, the choices sit with the person whose body is affected, i.e. the woman. Not his call at this stage

This is what I was going to say. He knew there was a chance that even protected sex could result in a baby. If he's trying to get you to terminate then he's not worth wasting your time with.

If you want to keep the baby then keep it. You and the baby will be fine without him.

Youcancallmeval · 31/12/2018 00:31

Totally the woman's choice. And he would become a father, not necessarily a dad - anyone can father a child. Takes a man to be their dad.

GunpowderGelatine · 31/12/2018 00:31

Man's view is that he is being forced to become a father against his will if woman keeps it. Does anyone agree with that?

Nope. Men aren't daft, they know that sex (even with protection), ANY sex they have with a woman has a likelihood, however small, of pregnancy, and that they have no say in the outcome of that pregnancy. All this "poor me I'm being forced" is utter bollocks.

Drum2018 · 31/12/2018 00:32

Absolutely the woman's decision. He should have kept his mickey in his pants if he didn't want kids. Do not be forced into having a termination just because he says so.

BertieBotts · 31/12/2018 00:32

The woman as she is the one who will have to go through the pregnancy/abortion.

However, she should always make the decision based on factors which do not involve counting on the man's support. Damn right she should chase him for child support etc if he isn't forthcoming with it, but the reality is that the systems for enforcing it are crap and it is entirely his decision whether he sticks around so whatever he says - make sure you're on board with raising the child alone as a possibility and factor that into the decision.

Sarahandduck18 · 31/12/2018 00:34

When the man chose to have sex he chose to risk fatherhood.

His choice, his responsibility.

Bacardi101 · 31/12/2018 00:35

The woman’s all the way as PPs have said 100%

BertieBotts · 31/12/2018 00:36

Also, they will probably break up anyway, sadly. Because if she has a termination and didn't really want to, she will never forgive him for it. Therefore another reason why to make the decision solely based on whether she wants to become a mother or not.

icannotremember · 31/12/2018 00:36

If you are pregnant you decide. Always.

Josiebloggs · 31/12/2018 00:37

Always the womans choice. Keep the baby and get rid of him. Claiming maintenence is your decision but I would cut all ties for good.

Cassie85 · 31/12/2018 00:38

Absolutely woman's choice. If the man felt so strongly he should have made sure he practiced safe sex.

If he really isn't interested and you keep it then perhaps it's fair to cut him out? Don't put him on the birth certificate or ask for any help from him and that way you aren't 'forcing' him.

Although you would be perfectly within your rights to at least expect him to step up and help you financially. Good luck OP.

You may regret it if you make a decision based on what your partner wants, but I guarantee you won't regret keeping that thing you want so much. Do what's right for you xx

Burnt0range · 31/12/2018 00:39

The baby should live, regardless of what either of them think.

If they don't want the baby, he/she should be adopted out.

Coffeeonthesofa · 31/12/2018 00:40

Totally the wonan’s choice, I said as much to my DS who was in this position ( unplanned pregnancy and very difficult circumstances). He didn’t try and force any decision on her but he genuinely thought an abortion was the best option. She had the baby, they did split up after trying to make a go of their relationship, he sees his child regularly, and so do we, and he pays child support. My grandchild is very much loved, by both sides of the family.

AssassinatedBeauty · 31/12/2018 00:40

Woman's choice, without any question. Only the pregnant woman gets to decide what happens with her body.

It is beyond immature for the man to describe this as being forced into fatherhood. It's always a possibility when you have sex, even if precautions are taken. No contraception is 100% effective.

greatandpowerfulozma · 31/12/2018 00:40

Hi I agree with everyone here it’s the woman’s choice for sure.

I really feel for you what a rubbish situation. What other support do you have aside from him? Big hugs. Like others said every time you have sex you’re taking the risk of becoming a parent.

GoneFishingNC · 31/12/2018 00:41

Absolutely woman’s choice, every time.

As pp have said - never do anything to your body that you don’t want. An abortion or a pregnancy has to be the woman’s decision.

No man is worth sacrificing a baby for if it’s what you want.

And no man must be forced to be a father in the day to day reality sense, even if they are one in the biological sense.

BubblesBuddy · 31/12/2018 00:44

Well a man cannot force a women to get rid of a baby. So it’s the woman’s choice to keep the baby or not. Men are just so immature! He’s not worth staying with.

NottonightJosepheen · 31/12/2018 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anniehm · 31/12/2018 00:46

The woman trumps the man BUT in such circumstances it would be be right to not insist he be listed as the father or pay child support. Men need to take protection seriously !

FetchezLaVache · 31/12/2018 00:46

No man is worth sacrificing a baby for if it’s what you want.

If it's you in this situation, OP, I just wanted to reiterate this.

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