How to ask MIL to go home on Saturday?

[BloomsButtons]

MIL has been with us since Saturday. As far as DH and I knew she was coming for a week but apparently she's told our DC and my Mum that's she's here until after new year.

I need some time these holidays to chill out and DC 3&4 want to go and visit DC1 this weekend and he lives near MIL. How can I politely tell her that DH is taking DC to visit other DC and so he'll take her home at the time?

I know this doesn't seem all that hard but DH won't say anything so I'll have to do it but I don't want to cause major offence.

DC 3&4 are 14 & 12 year olds. DC1 is 24.

Just tell her as soon as she walks in the door, great news DH can give you a lift home on Saturday....
If she says but I was staying till New year just tell her no, we arranged for you to have a lift home.

Less is more.

Your DH can do it, she's his mum. Just get her told. Staying til New Year? I'd hate guests to stay that long.

That’s rude of her! What does your DH say?

I'd feign ignorance and assume Saturday was still the plan:

"We're just sorting out timings for driving down to X on Saturday and taking you home - would you be happy getting ready to go for 11am? That way you can all be there to see DC1 for lunch. Ooh, I'll have a nice free day then won't I? I'll have to make some nice relaxing plans"

Thanks for making me feel less guilty.

DH is hoping she'll stick to the original plan of Saturday but won't tell her himself. I'm just waiting for confirmation from DS1 and his GF that it's definitely okay for DC to stay.

Can't one of you ask what time she was planning to leave on Saturday?

If she says then that she's planning to stay until after NY then DH can say "Oh sorry, we've made other plans for those days as we knew you were leaving on Sat".

Great, diplomatic suggestions here . We'll get it sorted tonight!

Agree. Just tell her. Then make other plans.

Who does that? Turns up to stay without an end date? She’d be out on Saturday no matter what.

DS1 has confirmed that DC can stay with him overnight 😁. Now to explain to MIL that the only way this can happen is if DH takes her home at the same time.

Tell her it’s happening, Don’t ask.

I hope your conversation went well. OP!

I totally bungled it .

I explained the need to take the boys to their brother and how they'd be passing her house and was met with wide eyed innocence and 'oh I don't think he (DH) would want to do that.' Gah!!

oh I don't think he (DH) would want to do that

So time for your DH to say “actually yes that would work best for me”

Isn’t that your cue to say, ‘oh don’t worry-he’s fine with it! We’re leaving at x o’clock!’

What??!! For goodness sake just tell her that she needs to go home. You've hosted her for a week, and you need some time to relax before going back to work.

Are you normally this passive?? Just man up!

Fuck, just tell her! It’s been lovely having you but DH will drop you home on Saturday,

'Mil I double checked with DP about Saturday and he said he is happy to take you home on Saturday. DS1 is expecting them at xx so you are all leaving at xx'

You have a DH problem. Does he not have a tongue in his head?

It's a mix of being passive and being aware that this woman, while she drives me crazy, is my husbands mother.

DH will avoid conflict at all costs and won't say a word to her even though she's driving him nuts too and he's taken to being being out of the living room as much as possible to avoid her.

It's isn't conflict if you spell out to him mil has had a week of Christmas her way, now it's your turn.
After all he married you not his dm....

How spineless your DH is! If he won't tell her then he has to stay with her while you go off with the dcs.

Go with your boys to visit their brother.... and check in to a Premier Inn?

This is crazy! Just tell her!