How to ask MIL to go home on Saturday?

[BloomsButtons]

MIL has been with us since Saturday. As far as DH and I knew she was coming for a week but apparently she's told our DC and my Mum that's she's here until after new year.

I need some time these holidays to chill out and DC 3&4 want to go and visit DC1 this weekend and he lives near MIL. How can I politely tell her that DH is taking DC to visit other DC and so he'll take her home at the time?

I know this doesn't seem all that hard but DH won't say anything so I'll have to do it but I don't want to cause major offence.

DC 3&4 are 14 & 12 year olds. DC1 is 24.

Nah, if your DH is avoiding her, why are you making the effort?

Will she be alone for New Year. I realise she is probably driving you crazy but .............

Just tell her what is happening, you simply have other commitments. Full stop.

It's unfair of him to avoid her but not be willing to tell her what's going on. Tell him he either sits with her the whole time or he tells her she's going on Sat.

Omg - she's crafty good. Ask her why did she agreed to a week's stay if it isn't what she had in mind.

Does your husband want her to stay?

If not then he won't mind her leaving even if you do have to to the one to tell her that actually yes, she will be being driven home on Sat.

If he does want her to stay-then he can cater for her & entertain her.

Perhaps whilst you have some time with your oldest?

Blooms leave Mr Conflict Avoid-er to entertain his DM and you take the DC to their DB's place, then book in somewhere and relax.

Go with your boys to visit their brother.... and check in to a Premier Inn?

Seriously? Crap suggestion on so many levels!

Can you text her so you can consider your responses?

You need a serious word with DH. It's his mother, he needs to deal with it.

Have a big row with oh, he is an arse. Don't be so wet both of you, just tell her.

I dont understand why you would ask?! You tell her when she's getting dropped off. If she asks to stay longer, just explain you and your husband have planned some alone time.

”I explained the need to take the boys to their brother and how they'd be passing her house and was met with wide eyed innocence and 'oh I don't think he (DH) would want to do that.'”

To which you said....?

I am agog that people find it so hard to communicate! How about, “I’ve had a word with DH and it would be more convenient for us if he could drop you home at the same time as he takes DCs to DS1.” And if she tries to object just stick to, “sorry MIL it works better for us if DH does it all in one trip.”

You have a DH problem.

If he won't tell her then I would leave him with her. Have a good time with your DC and stay away until she comes back.

I'll speak to DH when he comes in. I am exhausted having her here and need space and time to chill before school goes back.

I'm tempted to take the boys to see their brother but Premier Inns are about £100 for one night this weekend and ironically my only other option would be to stay at her house.

Usually for new year she'd go to bed and my brothers in law would see her/have her for dinner on New Year's Day so she wouldn't be alone.

I actually feel tearful with frustration at all of this. Telling her outright that she's going seems so rude. I'd hat a future DIL of mine to do it but then, I would never put anyone in this position. I'm hiding in my bedroom as I can't face sitting with her anymore, she's just There all the time.

Just go back with I cheecked with Dh and he's all for dropping you to yours on the was to Ds, not a problem at all. I've got plans without them all on saturday, so a good day all round.
New year for us is a non issue, the whole family is fast asleep before midnight usually.

@flowery I said that he would rather do that than have the boys travel all that way alone on the bus. She said 'I don't think so'. What come back is there to that?!

Just tell her it's all been arranged and then change the subject.

Your husband needs to tell her! And if needs be, back him up, saying something about plans you have with friends/etc. after this date so you cannot be there to play host.

ps she sounds incredibly rude!

She's having a laugh, just say it's not convenient and you'll see her again whenever it is. Your husband has to get her in the car. What is her problem?

Grow a spine! 'Yes, DH is taking you back on Saturday as we agreed. We would like some time over the holidays on our own so you'll be going with him on Saturday.'

The book a Premier Inn suggestions are ridiculous. Why should you be pitched out of your own home. Not to mention the assumption that every one has endless funds for hotels over a bank holiday when the prices go up and the spaces get all booked up.

She is unbelievable. You tell her that's what's been arranged, on the basis of the original plan of her only staying a week. If it would make you feel better you can apologise for any crosses wires, but this is what's going to happen.

And you have plans from Sunday onwards that you don't want to change (but don't have to mention these plans involve staying in bed all day and watching crap tv/shagging in each room in the house).

Wow! She has a brass neck.
Your reply to that is 'Oh yes, it's all sorted. The boys are too young to travel by bus alone, especially at this busy time of year, Dh wants to see older ds so he will drive and they will drop you en route, saving you the trouble of bus / train. I have plans to meet my old friend and am looking forward to a child free day!

Done!