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Original poster

How to ask MIL to go home on Saturday?

600 replies

BloomsButtons · 26/12/2018 13:59

MIL has been with us since Saturday. As far as DH and I knew she was coming for a week but apparently she's told our DC and my Mum that's she's here until after new year.

I need some time these holidays to chill out and DC 3&4 want to go and visit DC1 this weekend and he lives near MIL. How can I politely tell her that DH is taking DC to visit other DC and so he'll take her home at the time?

I know this doesn't seem all that hard but DH won't say anything so I'll have to do it but I don't want to cause major offence.

DC 3&4 are 14 & 12 year olds. DC1 is 24.

OP posts:
ShesABelter · 27/12/2018 18:27

Why don't you just say I have spoken with dh to confirm Saturdays plans he's defo going to drop you off home when taking the kids as we would like to spend some time ourselves whilst they are away.

cstaff · 27/12/2018 18:28

Maybe you should contemplate showing her this thread and let her know it is about her. It might shame her into going home but if she is that much of a CF then maybe not.

titchy · 27/12/2018 18:29

What do you mean what comeback is there? You don't need a comeback.

'DH is driving dc's to see dc1 and will drop you off on the way.'

'Oh I don't think so'

'Err yes we've discussed it already and that's what's happening unless you want to be dropped off st the station instead..'

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Caselgarcia · 27/12/2018 18:32

Agree with PP, it's not negotiable. She's leaving.

Amazonian27 · 27/12/2018 18:34

Fluffyears - yes I am struggling with it and she knows this fine well. She once visited us for 12 days myself and older DC’s were beyond ourselves. As I am like you and also like to have plans set in stone. A wise ex work colleague once said guests are like fish they stink after a couple of days. To bring DH to the same way of thinking I also stopped all sex. In the end he said it’s far too long to visit anyone for. If she outstays her welcome this time I will be going out with friends or booking myself into a spa hotel.

Original poster
BloomsButtons · 27/12/2018 18:34

@thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter thank you for making me laugh!

So, had a quick chat with DH who would rather put the boys on the bus alone (he's looking to see if there are spaces now Angry) rather than tell his mother she's going home.

Looks like it'll have to be me.

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 27/12/2018 18:37

Well you go with your boys and leave Mil and Dh there. See how quick he moves her when hes the one left looking after her.

Numberonecook · 27/12/2018 18:37

This is why I love my DH he’d just say ‘mother you’re off home Saturday il give you a lift’ end of conversation Grin

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 27/12/2018 18:37

Jesus Blooms you have a bigger problem than your MIL Sad

Monny1 · 27/12/2018 18:38

Typical, it’s always left for the woman to sort it out! You can do it op!

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 27/12/2018 18:38

Yes, I agree, you go with the boys and leave dh and his mother at home. Mind you...that's probably exactly what she would like!

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 27/12/2018 18:39

Wow. If she stays I'd be implementing no sex for the visit duration too but that has been nipped in the bud beforehand.
Can't he not honestly discuss it with his own mother? I cannot imagine not being able to do with mine.

MsChookandtheelvesofFahFah · 27/12/2018 18:39

Seriously? Then take off for a few days. Let him cook, host and entertain her himself.

Amazonian27 · 27/12/2018 18:40

I think either
A) he tells her she’s going home on Saturday and she goes

or

B) she stays at yours after Saturday and either he or she pays for you both to stay in a nice hotel for a romantic night away.

His choice.

ShowerOfClowns · 27/12/2018 18:42

You have a DH problem!

MadamBatty · 27/12/2018 18:43

I’d tell your husband that it is a deeply unattractive trait that he can’t stand up to his mother.

What kind are of daft person stays where they’re not wAnted anyway?

Crimbobimbo · 27/12/2018 18:43

What a wettie he is, I'd he livid.

Doesn't sound like she likes you and you're not keen on her, so sod it, what's to lose. Go in and say 'great, your lift back is sorted, isn't that lucky? It's been a lovely visit'. Be breezy and direct. If she tries to get out of it say 'you said Saturday MIL, we've got plans'. DON'T be drawn on what those are. As someone else said; less is more.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 27/12/2018 18:44

But officially she hasn't told you she's staying lpnger. She just said "DH wouldn't like that" but that could be interpreted in few ways. Wouldn't like what. So what is your DH afraid of - confirming with her already agreed on plans? Confused

Waddsup12 · 27/12/2018 18:47

What is his problem exactly?

Does he want her to stay?

mantlepiece · 27/12/2018 18:49

If you do tell her she is going home, will your husband take her, or will he refuse? It sounds like that’s what will happen.

PickAChew · 27/12/2018 18:51

How on earth can you find such a wet blanket attractive? He would rather see you and the kids uncomfortable or inconvenienced than displease mummy.

masterstef · 27/12/2018 18:57

Go for nice walk with dh and mil
Take shortcut home by yourself
Lock door

RCohle · 27/12/2018 19:02

Your husband is being ridiculous. In the circumstances I wouldn't worry at all about causing ill feeling by having the conversation with her yourself. Clearly he's abdicated all responsibility to you to act as you see fit.

elfycat · 27/12/2018 19:03

I'd misunderstand her 'Oh I don't think so,' to mean that she doesn't think her son would want to take her back Sunday. She's being obtuse but 2 can play that game.

Then go back in and say. 'Oh I checked with DH, as you didn't seem sure he'd want to take you back. He's fine with that and will take you back leaving at '

Create a new plan for late Sat/Sunday - book cinema tickets for example. Maybe actually book them if you need to. And then say you have plans. If she acts obtuse again, look confused and say you are confused, it was agreed ages ago so you made plans.

Joinourclub · 27/12/2018 19:05

How is she planning on getting home when she eventually decides to go?

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