DP bruised my baby

[Oneinthegrave]

I don’t know how to approach this. DP (DS dad) is very heavy handed. He sometimes hurts me without realising, he’ll go to ‘tickle’ my sides while im cooking or something but digs his fingers in my sides so hard it hurts and then kicks off if i say something because he was ‘trying to have a laugh’.

Yesterday my 16 month old son needed his nappy changing and was over tired because we’d been visiting family and he’d missed his nap. He was crying and trying to get away (nothing new) and DP was holding onto his legs. I didn’t know at the time how hard he was holding him but my son was sobbing and I had to take over because DP was getting angry.

Today i’ve noticed my son has a bruise on his leg where DP was holding him, it’s a greyish bruise probably double the size of DP’s thumb. I know he wouldnt intentionally do this to our son but I have to tell him what’s happened so it doesn’t happen again, but I need to word it in a way so that he doesn’t get defensive and kick off.

What would you say to him??

Oh my goodness. You have done the right thing here. I can't believe it escalated so quickly.

Good for you.

Well done OP - you are an incredibly strong woman and mother xxx

OP well done.

I suggest though that you get this thread deleted, change your username and start a new thread in relationships at some point, changing some of the details to protect yourself. Or just stop posting here and start a new one with a name change.

He will come back here and try and find you.

to you and your son.

Well done.
You have no sense of responsibility to him. If he's lonely it's his own fault.

Well done, you are an amazing strong woman and a fabulous mum

Take care OP, you've done amazingly well.

You've done the right thing, I've just read your thread and his behaviour is absolutely classic for a controlling abusive person. Be very aware he will try to reel you back in Anyway he can, threats, promises, declarations of love, regret, the lot. Don't engage and do not be on your own with him. Get some support whilst you extract yourself ( call women's aid for your local service). You are going to feel so much better soon.

You're awesome! Well done!!

Well dobe.
Stay strong and tell ypurself you need to stay away for at least a few weeks. Don't let him cry and whine his way back. Speak to ss about supervised contact

Huge well done OP. Phone SS and let them know you’ve done that and they can help with any retaliation. All they’ll see is you keeping DS safe

Yes CanSurvive is right - let SS know - they would expect you to.

Op you are so brave, and a fantastic mum for doing something so obviously difficult and scary! Well done!

Happy Boxing Day, OP! You've just given your baby the best present, a safe and loving childhood. He is so lucky to have you for his mummy. I wish you all the very best.

But you've left this creature time and time again.
Please make this the last time, cooperate with SS.
He's so obviously unstable and may quite easily hurt you or your baby again, or worse

I missed your post OP but glad you're out. Hope nothing has happened in the meantime. Please make sure you speak to SS about everything that's happened to protect you both from him.

Hope you're ok, OP. You've done the right thing. You really, really have. You and your little one deserve better.

Didn’t see what your last post said, but I take it that you’re out.

You’ve done the right thing. Stay safe xx

How are you feeling today?
You are an amazing mum and your life for your son is so obvious and you have ensured he will not be affected by an abusive dysfunctional father- no father at all is better if that's the alternative.
I don't know if you've already spoke to women's aid but I would urge you to do so as the danger actually increases once the relationship ends and they can help put a safety plan in place for you both
Good luck and enjoy your son knowing you will always put his safety and needs first

Say what maras2?

Hi OP.

I just wanted to let you know that I left a man like this once, I scooped up my baby and ran and never looked back. It was the best decision I've ever made.

A word of warning though, his behaviour will get worse before he gives up and lets you be. Be ready for it. Don't go back, no matter what he says or what he threatens, don't go back. It will be worse than ever if you go back, he's a monster, these men are all the same. Protect your child.

Wishing you the best of luck, please stay safe.

I imagine Maras2 is referring to previous threads by the OP where she mentions DV, other abuse, drug issues and alcoholism. She's also stated in other threads that she's left him previously.

I really hope you get the help and support you need OP

Yes, that's what I thought Maras2 meant iMatter. What a shame. Not quite the first time incident that she has inferred it was, and presumably the 'understanding' and 'insight' OP has 'gained' probably isn't real as she's received support before and has waited (at least one hopes this has been the defining catalyst) until her child actually got hurt before she did anything...

It would be very disappointing if this is the case for the sake of her DS but also on the basis that I feel I might have, in my attempts to support her, enabled her to 'fake commit' to SS about her 'insight' into matters relating to her son and how to 'play' them with SS to her benefit.

I genuinely hope that is not the case. My support is always genuine and I would hate to feel someone was taking the p*ss by presenting a less than full picture....

Interesting @HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

How so?