I am on the verge of having an affair

[WhattheheckamIdoing]

I am ready to be flamed, I know I deserve it.

I am on the verge of starting an affair with a married colleague. I know this is wrong, I know lots of pain will come from it and I feel guilty about his wife and children.

We have only had a (few) drunken snogs after the office Christmas party. We left the party separately at different times and met at my place. At the party we just couldn't get away from each other so it was getting dangerous. I was adamant that we should not get into proper sexual territory as that would be an even more slippery slope. We agreed on that.

I think we are both pretty infatuated with each other, but we need to draw a line and stop this madness. His wife also works for the same company and the consequences on his family and my career would be tragic if this became a full-blown affair.

I don't know why I am posting here. I can't tell anyone in real life so maybe I just needed to write it. I am on the verge of having an affair. I hope I'll have the strength to control myself.

It’s wrong on both sides. You shouldn’t cheat on your partner. You shouldn’t enter into a relationship with a married person.

Well lets assume pretend that the first thing a cheating man does is to be honest about being married then shall we. Play pretend that hes not a lying cheating manipulating arse.

In this case however, OP has run at the married man,told him, withiut any encouragement that she fancies gi., know g full well he's married.

Quick frankly they deserve each other!

Shriek actually it was him who approached me, told me he had been having a crush on me for a while and tried to hit on me for months. I turned him down for a while and then I gave in at the company Christmas party.

Not that this detail is particularly relevant to the situation, but I am not sure why you are trying to rewrite my story.

OP in the long term if you do elf up with this catch you do know you will have a life of his kids, visiting you every other weekend, coming first every time, in fact you could end up with stroppy teenagers living with you and the Dad as the grass is always greener to a teenager. 20% of his salary at least will immediately leave his bank account as child maintenance. Holidays you will have the kids. Even if you have your own kids with him his kids will always be there. I have a friend who’s step kids have both moved in with her and their dad......is this what you want? This is the long term future. Sod romantic weekends ..... it will be his kids spending time with you.

Don't do it!!! If you do then you are a total marriage-wrecking bitch and you won't like the sight of yourself in the mirror six months down the line. Think of the guilt that you would have to chew over everyday. No man is worth putting your career, mental health and reputation on the line, not to mention your own values as a decent human being.

Shriek The OP works in the same company as this man and his wife. She is well aware that the man she has been having a relationship with is married.

Unless he leaves his wifeto be with you FIRST you are just being USED. Dont allow it. Its not worth it in your career. He will ruin you and likely not take much of the hit himself in the end....

Bowchica I absolutely know that if you RTFT you will see my comments on exactly that when she told him at work that she fancied him, for absolutely no good reason other than to start something.

Shes had many, and I do wonder if this is simply fantasy