My house is a terrible mess, I don't know how to get to grips with it.
It's got to the point I just don't know how to make an impact on it. But I need to, this is crisis point.
I've always struggled with keeping on top of housework.
But this last year or so, I've been away a lot (elderly dad has needed looking after and mum died earlier this year of cancer).
The house has got into such a state, I can't seem to impact it. Plus I find it hard to know where to start. I work from home, supporting a family member's business. I'm good at my work, but I find it takes me longer to do than it would a "normal" person and that makes it harder to have enough time to get to grips with the house.
DH is unwell and depressed. The environment is making him worse and the depression kicks off his ailments. He's often in bed in pain. He can't bend as his back hurts. He's in a negative spiral and I'm scared what's going to happen. The house really isn't helping. I suspect he may leave soon.
I paid for a de-cluttering person to come help me, and she's been coming once a week for a couple of months. But I'm running out of money to do that, it's not cheap. We do a room at a time, together but the house is so bad, we only managed to do half the front room in 4 hours this week. And I haven't been about to keep on top of it enough between visits for it to make a massive difference. De-cluttering people work with you, they don't do it for you, and that's exactly what I needed from her, someone to do it with me. I'm basically paying her to be my friend! Really I need DP to do it with me, but he's in too much pain and we're not communicating well at the moment, so it's not going to happen. He does all the cooking & washing up instead as he can do that standing up.
The house is a bad as a hoarder's house. I'm not a hoarder - I don't cling on to stuff. But I have real problems with organisation and procrastination. I think maybe I have ADHD (I'n going for an assessment in January). I fit the profile anyway.
The kids are getting older and really want to have friends round - they used to, but not in the last 18 months, since it got so bad. I won't let anyone in. There's only so many times I can take the kids to softplay or whatever. They want to be able to play at home.
How do I get out of this situation? Can anyone give me any advice on what to do?
I tried going for counselling for procrastination, didn't make a difference. DH and I went for couples counselling, didn't help address the communication break down at all.
I need to know how to get on top of it. I tend to get very focused on things e.g. my work, and it's hard to switch focus.
I find it really hard to stay on task when cleaning. I think possibly because I feel so much guilt about it, I beat myself up while tidying, if I'm doing it alone. But I can't keep paying someone to be with me! I need to work out how to do it. Maybe I need to make it easier for myself by trying to make it fun? Does that work for people?
Maybe I should do it and listen to a podcast or something. I dunno.
What works for you? Is there anyone here who's really terrible at this kind of thing but manages to get it done and stay on top of it? How do you do it?