DP has spent an hour trying to collect 5 yr old from a play date

[Eastie77]

I'm at a loss. DD is 5 years old and went to a play date at a friends house today. DP went to pick her up at 6:30pm. Her friend only lives 5 minutes away so I've been wondering where he got too. He just turned up, his voice shaking saying he "cannot remove her" from her friends house, she is running around their sofa laughing, refusing to put her shoes on and will not come home. He left the house without her as he "couldn't take it anymore" after spending nearly an hour chasing around after her

I am in bed ill with DS who is also ill and he expected me to get dressed and go and get her! I have sent him back to fetch her and he has angrily left the house. I reminded him that he is a GROWN man surely capable of picking up a 5 year old child, putting her over his shoulder and walking out of the house?!! I feel like I'm in some kind of parallel universe here.

I'm friends with the play dates mother but god knows what she must be thinking..

@Sasstal67 he rarely sees them. Probably about four times a year if that. He wasn't too bad when we first split, saw a lot of them etc but gradually it tailed off and he lives abroad now. He was abusive in general though so it was an easy decision to make by the end.

OP what are you going to do about this? It's ridiculous that your partner isn't parenting.

@CarolDanvers
Sorry if that brought up bad memories for you and thank you for answering such a personal question xx

@Sasstal67 the situation you describe with your DH is exactly what I predict will happen with DD and DP. I feel she already doesn't take him seriously and I have told him in his desperate quest to be her friend he will end up with a child who has no respect for him.

Magic 123 is on it's way from Amazon.

@Eastie77 I wish you all the luck in the world. I also wish I'd had the wisdom pool that is Mumsnet when I was a young mum and wife. Xx

Well done on getting 123 Magic. I do really REALLY recommend watching the dvd together. I was the parent who couldn't discipline effectively. Having the dvd meant we could pause it and I could say 'but isn't a time out cruel?' and my husband could say 'no, and isn't letting your child grow up as a tyrant cruel?'

I had to be really honest with myself and my husband about why I found discipline hard. Thankfully my husband was kind about my issues and worked with me for lasting change. I still have a tendency to overcompensate for my own difficult chdhood but I'm much more aware of it now and have better tools at my disposal.

Best comments on this thread :

'What a wet lettuce'

And:

'Our childminder has bluntly told him that he just needs parenting classes.'

Classic

He sounds pathetic but where were the playdate parents? I always help round up the kids as they can be excited so also need the host to call an end to things too.

Haha, how ridiculous, is she always that disobedient? I have to admit I would have thought poorly of both your DD and your DH at that point if I was your friend.

One simple 'DD if you don't get your shoes on and get ready to leave right now there will be no more play dates in the future' would have had my DD putting her shoes on quick smart.

This thread is a ZOMBIE! Managed why did you resurrect it just to make an inane comment??

@hennypenny
Because she wanted to, as is her right?

Oooh I'm glad the thread was resurrected, it's made my day! Last week I had to physically drag my 5 year old out from underneath his best friend's bed to take him home. This was exactly the giggle I needed!

After all these months I'm hoping 123magic has worked for OP's husband - and am smiling too. :)

Does the DD now live with the play date hosts?

Your DH sounds like an ineffective, useless parent and your DD sounds very spoilt and badly behaved.

Tell him to mum-up

Urgh. 🧟‍♀️ 🧵 🚨

Ha!! I remember this thread and when I saw the title just there I thought - for a brief moment- that perhaps the DD in question was still being chased around the playdate house, refusing to leave. But then I realised that that would be more than a bit ridiculous...

Shudder though. I HATE The Ending of a Play date.