DP has spent an hour trying to collect 5 yr old from a play date

[Eastie77]

I'm at a loss. DD is 5 years old and went to a play date at a friends house today. DP went to pick her up at 6:30pm. Her friend only lives 5 minutes away so I've been wondering where he got too. He just turned up, his voice shaking saying he "cannot remove her" from her friends house, she is running around their sofa laughing, refusing to put her shoes on and will not come home. He left the house without her as he "couldn't take it anymore" after spending nearly an hour chasing around after her

I am in bed ill with DS who is also ill and he expected me to get dressed and go and get her! I have sent him back to fetch her and he has angrily left the house. I reminded him that he is a GROWN man surely capable of picking up a 5 year old child, putting her over his shoulder and walking out of the house?!! I feel like I'm in some kind of parallel universe here.

I'm friends with the play dates mother but god knows what she must be thinking..

What did your DH say when the childminder told him he needed a parenting class eastie?

OP, your partner is utterly pathetic. I could not be with a man like him. Best of luck for the future though.

"Some people being harsh. My son never listens to me either and it's exhausting! Not to mention embarrassing, especially when you know people are silently judging you"

"Am I the only one who thinks this is cute"

Who is the adult and who is the child? Having zero control over a badly behaved 5 year old is frankly embarrassing. My children do what they are told.

I can’t speak from experience as my only DD is 18months currently but this is how I imagine the situation should be handled...

DD: I don’t want to go blah blah blah wah wah wah

Adult: well unfortunately DD it’s time to leave and if you don’t get ready to go and come with me now then you aren’t going to do/have [insert thing/activity to be lost here]

... and make sure you follow through with the consequence so they know you mean it? Or am I hugely naive and in for a massive shock?

Cute ? Are you fucking kidding ?

I was at a get together recently where there was limited seating ( but plenty of floor space). I was a little late getting my food and nowhere left to sit. A cocky 8yo refused to move on my polite request. I picked up his food and said "you don't get it until you move". I heard the SIO from his wet lettuce parents from across the room.

He tried to stare me out but the ground was mine. He moved, a grown up got a chair and he went to sit with his friends on the floor.

I don't give a shiny shit if I have a rep as a bossy cow. These family kids are not my "friend" they do as they are told.

To be fair af I’d be scared if you did that to me, and I’m 38

hmmwhatatodo
Speechless. Can’t stand this kind of nonsense. Reminds me of times parents would come to collect their child who would then refuse to leave and them say “oh ok I suppose you can have another 10 mins” while I’d be silently screaming inside. I told mine if they ever behaved like that they would never go to peoples houses to play.

Oh god, yep, had this. With a particularly chatty parent who stayed for 90 minutes Couldn't get them to leave, the kids kept starting new games & I was nearly weeping.

I asked politely first and the refusal I got was very "knowing"

I couldn't be having that

OP this honestly needs to go in classics

Yep three wheeler, or, just as bad, when you go to collect your child and they get ready to go to you and the host child whines to their mum that we should stay a bit longer and the mums can have a cup of tea together and the host mum thinks that’s a great idea

I think I live in a parallel universe sometimes. Perfectly normal for a parent to stay for a cup of tea on pick up, often they will have brought a sibling who will play for a bit too.

Also find the number of parents on here who seem to find it so easy baffling. I can totally sympathise if he didn’t want to be the bad guy or felt bad to upset his child. Especially if pkaydate mum seemed fine about it. Does nobody on here feel guilty when they upset their child or make them cry?

So many on here seem to be able to click their fingers and their child comes running unquestionably.

My kids never came "unquestonably"

But they were never allowed to take the piss. Many times I have walked out with a caterwauling child under my arm.

Fucking hell.

How embarrassing.

It helps if you've followed through on threats when they're younger. DD1 is scared that I mean it when I say if she makes a fuss leaving no more play dates.

Also find the number of parents on here who seem to find it so easy baffling. I can totally sympathise if he didn’t want to be the bad guy or felt bad to upset his child. Especially if pkaydate mum seemed fine about it. Does nobody on here feel guilty when they upset their child or make them cry?

The "bad guy" is the parent who literally leaves their child somewhere then hassles their ill partner to come and do the parenting.

My kids largely act like total dicks at the end of play dates. Like AF I have had to physically remove them because as a parent I can't just leave them anywhere

Does nobody on here feel guilty when they upset their child or make them cry?

Not when they are behaving like nightmares and being rude in someone's home. Maybe the other mum actually had something to do? the amount of women it takes to facilitate a man baby.

Am I right in thinking it’s not his actual daughter? Or it is?
If it’s not the father it is harder for him to be authoritative I guess

There's a marked difference between clicking fingers and leaving instantly and what went on with the OP's DP's attempts to bring his child home. Even allowing for 40 minutes of flooping about with "another 10 minutes", it was nearly 2 hours from when he'd first set off to get her, and the play date was 5 mins away. Coming back and expecting your ill partner to get out of bed and retrieve your child is not a universe I'd be keen to live in.

I have no problem carrying a child who doesn’t want to leave home from a playdate and would absolutely not have done what OP’s DH did. I’m just surprised people are jumping on him so much when it actually seemed as if the other mum wasn’t all that bothered if they stayed longer.

If I was ill and looking after another ill child then having my other child stay a bit longer at a playdate would actually be a help!

’m just surprised people are jumping on him so much when it actually seemed as if the other mum wasn’t all that bothered if they stayed longer

What could she say?

"Sorry you're useless at parenting could you possibly fuck off now so I can make dinner? "

I say to my DC that if they kick up a fuss when leaving then I can't allow them to go back this term (if your DD goes quite frequently then two weeks would probably be enough). I say the same thing to visiting children, if they don't follow the rules of this house and leave when it's time to go home then I can't invite them back.

Well given that OP has said play date mum is a relaxed parent and also that she suggested a sleepover she didn’t seem bothered!

If I was ill and looking after another ill child then having my other child stay a bit longer at a playdate would actually be a help!

But the dad was around to look after the 5 year old, and it was getting near bedtime.

If my children cry if they know they're in.trouble or they can't get their own way, I feel no guilt at all. Their tears are frustration or a last ditch attempt to get me to change my mind.

How fucking pathetic.

How can you want to shag this weak inadequate man?