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My husband strangled me

300 replies

BaconHead · 08/11/2018 11:01

I can't tell anyone in real life because I know I should leave him and I know that social services will get involved as we have children, we have 4dc, 2 together and 2 are my step children who live with us. We've been together 5 and half years, married for 2. Never done anything like this before, a couple of years ago he pushed me on the bed while we were having an argument, but nothing major like this. Yesterday morning we were arguing about something petty, and it ended up with him holding me down on the sofa and strangling me. I know I need to leave him but for some silly reason, I love him and don't want to split our family up, my stepdaughters had a rough time with their mother and moved in with us 2 and half years ago and have settled in and I don't want to uproot them again, they wouldn't be able to stay with me as I'm not their mum. I feel so hurt and upset and I can't even look at him at the moment, I can't stand the sight of him, I don't know if I'll ever look at him the same again. My neck is in agony today and I can't even go to the doctors or anything. I know I deserve better, I know I won't leave I just wanted to tell someone and can't in real life.

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 08/11/2018 23:07

OP, you are right to ask MN advice but I think you are in ‘this isn’t happening to me’ mode.

Please tell someone irl. A friend. A GP. Anyone.

anotherneter · 08/11/2018 23:17

I’m so sorry this has happened to you OP. This man sounds very dangerous and unpredictable. Please don’t stay with him. Think of your children. They need their mum.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 08/11/2018 23:18

I was with my ex husband for almost 13 years. Low level mental abuse from him throughout a bloody miserable marriage but it began to escalate to pushing me, threatening me.. The day he tried to kill me by dragging me back into the house when I ran as he he lunged at me, where he slammed the door on my fingers, where he dragged me by the hair with one hand, across the hallway, while punching my head with his other hand and kicking me.. I am so lucky I managed to get free and get out or I am in no doubt he would have killed me.

OP, this won’t be a one off, he will do this again. Next time you might not be able to post on here. You could be dead.

Notsolarry · 08/11/2018 23:29

I try not to give too much away on here as I live in a small town and people who know me know my story. But for this, I'm willing to tell it all. Please leave. Yes, social services will come calling but would you rather they check on your welfare rather than be sorting a placement for your children because you are dead??

I was in an abusive relationship. A few slaps here and there, the odd push, fat lip etc. The same old sorry stories, won't happen again etc. Then one night whilst I was pregnant with our second child, he flew into a rage. He knocked a drink over, so I bent down to clean it up, and there it happened. A massive kick to the face. It knocked me backwards, but I composed myself, got up, and went to lay in the bed of our eldest child. I knew in there, he wouldn't come in and hopefully he would sleep off whatever bad mood he was in. Roll on maybe an hour or two later, my face was a mess but that was the least of my worries. My whole body was stabbing with pins and needles. I couldn't outstretch my fingers. Even though he was still in the house, and from there was the end of the nightmare with him, and the start of injuries.

My mother took me and my child to the hospital, calling the police as we left. Whilst my face was pretty messed up, it was my neck which had ultimately taken the brunt. I had 3 ruptured vertebra and my spinal fluid was compromised. Either operate immediately, or I become paralysed. The 3 months following was a drugged up blur if I'm honest, but all the time he was messaging asking how the baby was, how our older child was. His bail meant he couldn't see us, but no restriction on contact.

12 weeks later I gave birth to our second child. My injuries meant I couldn't even button her babygrow. Social services provided me with some support, and thank goodness for my mum. I'm now 8 years down the line, and he's 6 years away from being released from his sentence. He received more for endangering the life of his unborn child than he did for hurting me. I'm with a lovely new partner who has helped me raised my children. Although 90% recovered, I have no use in 5 of my fingers, and I'm plagued by pins and needles from the nerve damage.

The social services stigma doesn't go away. My children have safeguarding on their medical records as they were involved at some point. When my daughter broke her arm, one of the doctors who spoke to me was a safeguarding lead. All just doing their jobs.

I know this is a long long story but it resonates so dearly. Had his foot moved a tiny bit further, I'd have been a pregnant paraplegic. My children would have been with a mother like no other. Whilst I'm not 100% healthy, I'm here. I'm living, working, providing. Can you do the same if he doesn't release that grip around your neck quick enough? I think not/

KittyConCarne · 08/11/2018 23:31

OP, I know you're overwhelmed right now with the past 24 hours' events. I'm assuming that you're replaying the argument in your head because you're still in shock and trying to make sense of what happened. But you need to come to the realisation that it wouldn't matter if you'd smashed the laptop/ screamed full force at him for leaving the door open- nothing you did warranted what he did- his actions are completely appalling.

You really need to look at this logically.
You say that you "can't stand the thought that my stepdaughters will have to go with him though, I love them and know I wouldn't have any rights to have contact with them if he moves out with them".
So your plan is to stay in order to keep your stepdaughters/ protect them?

But the reality is that shortly, your stepdaughters will not be able to stay with you, and also your own children will not be able to stay with you, because you will likely be dead.

The risk you are taking to keep your stepdaughters in your care, is at the expense of all 4 of your children being able to continue to have a mum.
You must leave- he is volatile and unpredictable and unashamedly uncaring and visciously aggressive.
You and your children are in immediate danger from him.
Please leave.

Poppyinagreenfield · 08/11/2018 23:36

NSL your story is so upsetting.

How have things progressed or was this very recent.

After people get out of a violent relationship their lives can and are transformed back into laughter again.

Men with a violent background should be treated as such and all future potential partners be informed and legally enforced for life.

JuliaJaynes9 · 08/11/2018 23:40

Heartbreaking stories
please please listen

toothfairy73 · 08/11/2018 23:40

I know this is overwhelming and terrifying, but you CAN do this. You are stronger than you realise.

fudgefeet · 08/11/2018 23:46

My sister was killed by her partner who strangled her. He had done it previously in an argument too.

It is not a normal way to deal with a disagreement. You should never have to make your point physically. This is something we teach our children! You deserve better than to be with someone who hasn’t managed to grasp that one simple skill.

Rachelover40 · 08/11/2018 23:49

I think he should find somewhere else to live. What he did was dreadful.

Justcallmelu · 08/11/2018 23:50

Honey, I have a similar story to the ladies above. I don't want to overwhelm you with my story so please baby, please just dial 9 9 9

Mxyzptlk · 08/11/2018 23:52

Get help before you do anything. Don't ask him to leave without having back-up in case he goes into a rage again.

dontfluffthefluffer · 09/11/2018 00:11

From what I've read on the thread it seems to me that you are really conflicted. You know what to do for your own safety but are maintaining a 'dignified silence'.

This man will now see this as a benchmark, he's done something so heinous and it's been ignored. Next time it will go on for longer, then longer then, well there's only so long you can be without air.

That sounds hyperbolic but it's not, it's happened and does happen to so many weekly.

Please seek both medical and practical assistance for removing him.

Is your SDs mother on the scene at all?

I think preempting ss involvement is rash for now, their support could be vital right now with regards to your children and your step children.

Be safe. ❤️

Letsmove1t · 09/11/2018 00:25

OP I feel for you, I really do , but hope you can be shocked into action.
If you stay you are leading your children and step children to a point where they will be crying over your grave.Who will look after them? This is the road you are on. You can change this and you have to otherwise you are stepping into a coffin. The past is not your fault, but you absolutely have the future IN YOUR CONTROL. You can do it and you really must, please

plaidlife · 09/11/2018 02:48

As a social worker who has worked with domestic abuse cases, social services are looking to have the bloke removed ideally, rest of family rehoused if not, mum seeking support for herself from women's aid if needed and emotional support for dc if needed. Protect your dc from this man and social services will support you.
Hiding his abuse and covering it up places your dc at risk and therefore raises social services concerns. Your P is wrong, staying at home doing nothing is the last thing to do if you want to avoid negative reactions from social care. Take the advice on here and contact someone in real life.

olivesarelife · 09/11/2018 04:53

Please report. Do not worry about his step daughters. They will not go with him. What if you died? What if tomorrow he kills your child? Atleast leave for their safety.

FishesThatFly · 09/11/2018 05:46

Honestly.... l think this thread needs to end and people stop wasting their time posting.

@BaconHead has made it perfectly clear that she's not going to do anything about the situation as "she loves him". Hmm Personally l can't see what there is to love in a violent man who treats me like shit, but then l value my life and my children's life.

OP - l wish you the very best of luck and just hope you live long enough to see your children grow into healthy young adults and not one's who are so mentally...and possibly physically.... scarred by their childhood.

IdaBWells · 09/11/2018 05:58

FishesThatFly the OP is most likely in shock and understandably extremely shaken by what has happened. It was terrifying and I'm sure it is very hard to think straight or even be able to take the steps to take care of yourself when you haven't put yourself first for a long time.

She is also caring for 4 children and all their needs and trying to act normal and be calm while full of fear and confusion.

She is already badly shaken but I think knows things cannot stay as they are, otherwise why would she come and post on Mumsnet? A big part of her IS realizing the severity of the situation and that's why she came on but another survival instinct is to put your head down and not rock the boat so she is very conflicted.

Be kind, she is traumatized.

1MillionSelfiesTakenByMyKids · 09/11/2018 06:43

How are you this morning Bacon?

CupoBlood · 09/11/2018 06:44

@BaconHead hope it is easing off a bit more today.

If it is the stepchildren that is stopping you from leaving the only chance you have of protecting them is reporting it.

You were seconds away from death.

He has zero remorse.

He has crossed a line. A very dangerous line.

Even if he doesn't mean to kill you if he does it again he could do it by accident.

Call women's aid and please get some help to get out of there safely.

Molecule · 09/11/2018 06:52

Fishes please remember this is real time, not mumsnet time.

After years of emotional and financial abuse, my STBXH raped me. That was the end of the marriage for me, but it was Easter Saturday, I had a houseful of guests, a large meal to prepare for Sunday, children to get back to school etc. I didn’t report it until the Thursday when I finally had a clear day.

When something so traumatic happens you don’t always do the logical thing, you worry about the effects it will have on your family etc. It is a horrible place to be, so show some compassion for the OP. And yes I should have gone years before the rape, but there’s always something that stops you, and you hope it will improve.

Prettyvase · 09/11/2018 07:01

Please don't let a murderer live in your house with your children.

Get him reported so that he is removed.

He has done serious damage to your neck.

A hospital is a better place for you than a morgue.

Don't hide his secret.

The whole world will know soon and it will be in every newspaper.

Polkapjs · 09/11/2018 07:20

Firstly you poor thing. You don’t deserve this. Nobody does. You mention the children as your priority and their happiness. They can’t be happy in a house like this. It’s not normal and not ok for him to do this.
If they see this they’ll be scarred forever and worst case is that he does actually kill you - does it matter whether by accident or design? The net effect is the same and horrific. Please seek help. Please. This is so upsetting to read. Every woman on this thread would come and get you out if you asked - no question. There is help. Please please get it.

Weenurse · 09/11/2018 07:26

After reading all of these distressing posts, surely you see it can only escalate from here.
Please make sure you and your children are safe.
💐 to all who have lived this

MrsNjie · 09/11/2018 09:15

GO TO THE POLICE. Social services may not allow his kids to live with him and if their mum can't have them you'd have a good case for a care order in your favour.

By going to the police you are protecting all of your children! Do you really want your children to see their dad abusing their mum/stepmum?! Or worse for it to happen to them? What if they made him angry one day and he hurt one of them? Could you forgive yourself? Come on.