I try not to give too much away on here as I live in a small town and people who know me know my story. But for this, I'm willing to tell it all. Please leave. Yes, social services will come calling but would you rather they check on your welfare rather than be sorting a placement for your children because you are dead??
I was in an abusive relationship. A few slaps here and there, the odd push, fat lip etc. The same old sorry stories, won't happen again etc. Then one night whilst I was pregnant with our second child, he flew into a rage. He knocked a drink over, so I bent down to clean it up, and there it happened. A massive kick to the face. It knocked me backwards, but I composed myself, got up, and went to lay in the bed of our eldest child. I knew in there, he wouldn't come in and hopefully he would sleep off whatever bad mood he was in. Roll on maybe an hour or two later, my face was a mess but that was the least of my worries. My whole body was stabbing with pins and needles. I couldn't outstretch my fingers. Even though he was still in the house, and from there was the end of the nightmare with him, and the start of injuries.
My mother took me and my child to the hospital, calling the police as we left. Whilst my face was pretty messed up, it was my neck which had ultimately taken the brunt. I had 3 ruptured vertebra and my spinal fluid was compromised. Either operate immediately, or I become paralysed. The 3 months following was a drugged up blur if I'm honest, but all the time he was messaging asking how the baby was, how our older child was. His bail meant he couldn't see us, but no restriction on contact.
12 weeks later I gave birth to our second child. My injuries meant I couldn't even button her babygrow. Social services provided me with some support, and thank goodness for my mum. I'm now 8 years down the line, and he's 6 years away from being released from his sentence. He received more for endangering the life of his unborn child than he did for hurting me. I'm with a lovely new partner who has helped me raised my children. Although 90% recovered, I have no use in 5 of my fingers, and I'm plagued by pins and needles from the nerve damage.
The social services stigma doesn't go away. My children have safeguarding on their medical records as they were involved at some point. When my daughter broke her arm, one of the doctors who spoke to me was a safeguarding lead. All just doing their jobs.
I know this is a long long story but it resonates so dearly. Had his foot moved a tiny bit further, I'd have been a pregnant paraplegic. My children would have been with a mother like no other. Whilst I'm not 100% healthy, I'm here. I'm living, working, providing. Can you do the same if he doesn't release that grip around your neck quick enough? I think not/