talk me down! dd(14) poss pregnant

[dawnc27]

just moved dds school bag of the settee and a bit of papers slid out, on it it says a due date, possible names and names of godparents.
now this wouldnt normally phase me as id just think it was teenage rambling EXCEPT..... ive been asking myself when shes next due on, as we have been away for 2 weeks and back now around 10 days and shes not been on during that time which got me thinking back to when i last bought her any pads and tbh i cant remember. im thinking around july time which would tie in with the due date wrote down.
shes out at the moment which may be a good thing as i dont know what the fuck to do now!!
please help me by giving some advice

You’re just going to have to ask her outright.

Start by telling her you’re not mad but it does need dealing with. If her last period was July then she is 16+ weeks. She needs to see a midwife, get scans, school needs to be told etc.

It’s a harsh lesson she’ll learn that sex has huge consequences but it is NOT the end of the world and with the right support she can still go to college and uni it’s just her journey will be a bit different.

She's 14. It may be that she doesn't know ending a pregnancy is even a viable option if she hasn't even told anyone.

And I am not comfortable with the way everyone is assuming she is keeping the pregnancy when it isn't in this child's best interests to do so.

I hope the conversation goes well OP. Hopefully she’ll open up to you and you can sort things out together.

I second the poster that says it's not the end of the world if she is pregnant, and wants to keep it. It's just a baby, after all. She can still go to college and uni and do what ever she wants, just requires some support and extra planning.

Hope it all goes ok op.

Colditz.... that decision has nothing to do with you!
OP.... you sound like a lovely mum, I hope for both of your sales that this is teenage nonsense.

@colditz she is potentially too far along for an ‘easy’ termination. Also if she is she is already thinking of names etc. She’s attached emotionally, her mum cannot force her to get a termination.

@colditz it's not your call to make and many teens make great mums,
I know many teen mums and they haven't been punished at all, if a child is wanted it's wanted, your life doesn't end because your pregnant 

I agree with PP sit down and ask her and let her know whatever happens you will support her

Why are you so intent on her not keeping the baby Colditz? It really isn’t the end of her life, it’s a baby. Yes fucking hard work but definitely not the end of the world.

Colditz- I obviously can’t apeak for the other posters, but the reason why I didn’t suggest a termination is because the Op had made no mention of it, I just took my cue from her. A termination is a huge personal decision, it’s not one to be just taken lightly. Also, OP had no idea if she is pregnant yet or how far along she is.

I may be in the minority, but I'm absolutely with colditz. If your daughter is pregnant, OP, she needs to know she has a choice. You sound as if you will support her whatever, but please, do offer her the choice, 14 is very young to be a parent.

@colditz do you not think placing a baby for adoption would affect her more than actually having the child? If she wanted it? What a stupid thing to say

I'm with colditz. Of course, there will be dozens of posts from people who knew someone who had a kid at 14 and is now CEO at a Fortune500 company. A not insignificant number of children who have children at that age founder. I'd so hope mine would terminate in that setting.

Just don’t throw her out or shout at her

We used to play games at school where you'd write down how many kids you want and that they'd be called. I seem to remember thinking if you hadn't had 10 kids by 25 with your millionaire husband then you were a total spinster! Probably just a fantasy game like that?

no fuck that. She's a fucking child. Children do NOT have to 'step up' to childrearing just because they are unfortunately enough to be children with ovaries. She doesn't need to be punished for 20 years for being sexually active at 14

Nor does she needs to be punishing herself with regrets for the rest of her life if she wants this baby and is forced to abort it. I also don’t believe that, in the U.K., she could be forced to abort against her wishes.

To the PP who asked, it’s a myth about pregnancy tests not working as you are further along. They do.

at this age periods can be erratic - as for the names etc that could also be a wild card -

@colditz are you for real?

Adoption is a stupid suggestion, wtf?

The OP's daughter is 14.

She knows very little about how pregnancy, termination, adoption and childrearing works because SHE IS A 14 YEAR OLD CHILD.

I'm not trying to influence the OP to make her daughter terminate or put it up for adoption, I'm trying to influence the OP not to assume that her daughter needs to raise a baby if she's pregnant. She doesn't.

Nobody has to raise a pregnancy they don't want, especially not a 14 year old girl, and frankly if the prospect of raising a baby is more appealing than anything else in this child's life, I'm worried for her.

i hadnt mentioned a termination as thats not my choice to make and as others have pointed out the list of names points to it not being a choice she wants to make.
if she is then i wont sway her anyway, its her desicion and since i was forced into one at 17 by my then bf mum its not someting im willing to do to my own child. if that is what she wants then ok, if she wants to keep it then so be it, ill be standing by her no matter what

Hand hold OP. Try not to panic until you know the facts. You sound like a lovely mum. I hope everything turns out well for you & your DD.

Well.obviously its far from.ideal colditz and its not what any of us woyld want for our kids but if the Op,s dd is pregnant than wether to have the baby or not is her decisoon

AT NO POINT HAVE I SUGGESTED THIS CHILD BE FORCED TO DO ANYTHING.

OP you’re doing great