Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

talk me down! dd(14) poss pregnant

680 replies

dawnc27 · 06/11/2018 18:31

just moved dds school bag of the settee and a bit of papers slid out, on it it says a due date, possible names and names of godparents.
now this wouldnt normally phase me as id just think it was teenage rambling EXCEPT..... ive been asking myself when shes next due on, as we have been away for 2 weeks and back now around 10 days and shes not been on during that time which got me thinking back to when i last bought her any pads and tbh i cant remember. im thinking around july time which would tie in with the due date wrote down.
shes out at the moment which may be a good thing as i dont know what the fuck to do now!!
please help me by giving some advice

OP posts:
HereForTheLineEyes · 07/11/2018 19:39

Flowers for you OP.

I was a teen mum, and I had a mum who had a very explosive temper. I never talked to her about anything because if she didn't like something she would hit the roof.

I think that taking your time to think about how to approach your daughter and calmly discussing things is a good idea. Nothing good can come from emotional knee jerk reactions in these situations.

I'm glad you've decided to support her. I wish my parents had of don't the same.

For what it's worth I'm 28 now and married with 3 kids (pregnant with another) and I'm very happy. Undoubtedly it will be hard work, but it doesn't have to mean the end of all her hopes and dreams if she is pregnant.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 07/11/2018 20:01

Just read through this like Shock

My dd is 12 and I cannot imagine having this conversation in a couple of years. She’s still a little girl!

Best of luck Op, however it turns out. Flowers

HippoLatte · 07/11/2018 20:04

I was also a teen mum and it's not something I'd like my own kids to deal with so this thread just highlights the importance of not assuming our kids aren't sexually active just because they are bi/quiet/home a lot/confide in us etc etc.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
geologyrocks · 07/11/2018 20:10

Best of luck to ight ok.

For what it's worth I think you've handled this brilliantly

namechange1781 · 07/11/2018 21:31

Hope all goes ok OP

Crunchymum · 07/11/2018 22:00

God I bet you've had a horrendous day OP?

Hope you get an outcome either way and then at least you now what you are dealing with.

Xanadu44 · 07/11/2018 22:04

Sending posi vibes your way OP  I hope all is ok x

steppemum · 07/11/2018 22:11

Oh wow, dd is 13 and half and the idea that she might be pregnant in a few months is just terrifying.

Just can't understand though how any parent 'hits the roof' or throws a kid out, etc. She must be terrified, and she needs support and love.

Chickenwings85 · 08/11/2018 02:27

You sound like an amazing parent OP. Your daughter is so very lucky to have you and I wish you both the best and that you both get the result you want. Lots of love to you both. X

MrsSchadenfreude · 08/11/2018 06:12

I wouldn’t throw mine out if they got pregnant (although I would strongly suggest an abortion). I have drummed into mine that if they are mature enough to be sexually active, then they are mature enough to make sure they don’t get pregnant. And have told them that the age of consent is there for a reason - before that age, they should not be having sex because they are not mature enough to cope with a sexual relationship.

IceRebel · 08/11/2018 07:15

What was the outcome of the chat OP?

MotherOfDragonite · 08/11/2018 11:20

Best of luck.

eaturveggies · 08/11/2018 17:11

Hope all went well.

mommybear1 · 08/11/2018 17:34

Thinking of you and your DD OP Thanks

Comenext · 08/11/2018 19:57

Hope you can give us an update OP?
Concerned about how things have worked out for you and your DD.

bexcee · 08/11/2018 22:10

Op doesn't have to update MN! It's not concern it's nosiness! She asked how to deal with the situation, she was given advice and plenty of opinions now she's dealing with her life. It's not a soap opera for your entertainment!

peachypetite · 08/11/2018 22:35

Comenext this is someone's real life, not an episode of Eastenders.

janisposh · 08/11/2018 22:37

Pah, I don't think there is anything wrong in asking if there is any update/info/how things are. People have given advice, it's reasonable for them to ask what happened.

It's also ok for the OP not to update, but don't make people out to be awful for asking.

IStandWithPosie · 08/11/2018 23:02

Concerned about how things have worked out for you and your DD.

Grin come off it!

Opheliasgoldenwine · 08/11/2018 23:44

Posie 😂

Tinty · 09/11/2018 09:49

Some of the posts on here from all the 'perfect parents' are truly awful.
@KitKat1985

No, some of the parents on here are truly awful, if they were 'perfect parents', they would support and love their DC whatever their problems.

QueenoftheNights · 09/11/2018 09:50

Op doesn't have to update MN! It's not concern it's nosiness!

well, using that logic you could argue we are all nosy for reading anything about anyone on a forum (and posting!)

If people give their time, and put careful thought into sharing their suggestions, it's perfectly reasonable to ask what's happened. In fact I'd go further and say it's rather rude of posters who don't come back and update, because it shows a lack of appreciation of people's help.

AamdC · 09/11/2018 09:54

The Op may have rather more important things to be dealing with than updatong this thread, and tbh if it was me i would leave the thread too, some of the responses were judgemental and hysterical and in no way helpful

pusspuss9 · 09/11/2018 10:25

There is absolutely nothing wrong in being judgemental.
This has allowed us to move forward as a people. We judge things every minute of every day - is crossing the road dangerous at this point, do I go walking in the woods at night etc.
Whether we admit it or not, we do judge other people's actions all the time. It allows us to see consequences of actions and form or change our own opinions.
It also allows discussion to take place on actions which is a good thing. I can't understand why it has become a dirty word.

QueenoftheNights · 09/11/2018 11:18

Exactly PussPuss If someone says they are not 'judgemental' they may as well say they are devoid of a moral compass. Everyone makes judgements about behaviour- their own and other. That's how laws are created for one thing. Without judgement we'd live in a chaotic, lawless society. (And my inference, if posters think 14 is too young to have a baby, that's good as it shows they see the downside and the reality.)

The OP not updating; yes, she doesn't have to, yes she may have a lot on her plate, yes we can't demand she does.

BUT....it's all very well asking for advice, but there is something quite thoughtless about leaving everyone on a cliff hanger when all along the thread was 'Is she or isn't she'.