The worst nightclub you've ever been to?

[Xuli]

Ziggys, York c.1999. An old Regency townhouse that you would swear was still lived in. Sofas, scatter cushions, and chintz wallpaper on the walls - chintz wallpaper that actually started sweating by 10pm. The main dance floor was down in the basement with only one narrow staircase for access and which must have breached every single health and safety law known to man.

We only kept going because it was two WKD's for £1.50 on student night.

@picklemethat Angelos

Buds in Melksham.

Mass and The Fridge in Brixton.
And The Bon Bonne in Herne Hill- everything in the place was sticky.

Judging by this thread, quite a few large towns had clubs called The Continental (known as the Conti) and a Coconut Grove club too Liverpool certainly did.

Scamps in Oxford in the mid 70's. Bloody awful, full of under-age girls (me and my friends) and older men leering.

Pernod and blackcurrant and dreadful disco dancing.

@kendoddsdadsdog I was just going to post about the reunion, I’m very tempted too. I wanted to go to the Chambers reunion a couple of years ago (where I met my husband) but couldn’t make the date.

Ah yes, Roxy Disco in Sheffield - the letter x fell off the sign and no one bothered to fix it, so for ages it was known as Roy Disco.

And the Black Orchid in Nottingham, later known as Isis, as someone else has already pointed out. I knew someone who worked there and apparently so many people were caught on CCTV "having it off" that they used to make a compilation every Christmas!

Aforementioned "Roy" Disco.

I can't believe there haven't been any of the Norwich clubs mentioned - mid - 90s I remember Peppermint Park, Ritzy, Hys and Ricks Place - all of which were equally dire looking back.

I never actually went to Caesar's in Streatham - but we once legged it from an angry taxi driver because my mate had been sick in his cab, and only got away because the side of the A23 next to Caesar's was completely blocked by a mass fight spilling out into the road.

The Red Back in Acton was awful as well - I got chucked out one night for being too drunk which was saying something for the Red Back!

@ClenchQueen yes the venue was an absolute shithole. Still got fond memories tho

You are right about the naff neon light/tourists and wasn't it painted black inside???

Maybe we need to start a new thread about clubbing nostalgia - chatting about Heaven/decent clubs and the like. There was a brilliant 'old raver' one a few years ago but it got lost as it was in chat. People were posting excellent memories and links to songs

Lovely to see so many "favourites".

I disagree with level one in reading though - was probably my only ever enjoyable night clubbing. I was on another planet and owned the stage for one night and one night only.

Not yet mentioned: the Marlowe rooms in Sidcup - and Porky's in Aberystwyth - the place was bad enough without seeing your dad walk in with his pals. I made my excuses and left.

So glad someone mentioned The Venue in Belfast...the chip hatch in the corner!!! Such a sticky place!
Vico's in Belfast was equally rank and dodgy.

Love hearing the Portsmouth ones! 

I also add Prague junction in Fareham as that was a dive - I used to get burnt by about 40 cigarettes walking from one side of the room to the other it was so packed in and sweaty..

Tuxedo princess when it was in Gateshead was awful!!!! That bloody revolving dancefloor... (but kind of happy to hear it's still going strong in a nostalgic way).

Kluge in Durham. Voted Britain's worst night club on more than one occasion, I believe. Awful place.

@FrenchFancie I also used to always get cheesy chips from that chippy!!! Apparently Klute is now a VIP club?

Haven't read the full thread but both DTMs and Park End in Oxford deserve a mention, as does Langtry's in Beckenham.

Laughing so much at the memories of all the dodgy clubs on here I've been to:

Caesars in streatham - wasn't it partly owned by the presenter Crystal from the Crystal Rose show?

Maestros Sydenham

Blue Orchid Croydon (for all those that might remember her place - i used to run the Pizza Hut on George street when I was a young un- then off after late shift with the team to the nightclub)

Cinderella's Swansea when it had the Saturday night fever dance floor

Barons nightspot in Swansea

The Moonraker in Llanelli, girls glassing other girls, getting punched in the face by a guy, the overwhelming stink of chips and finger from the cafe over the DJ.

Owls near Tenby - felt like Jodie Foster in the Accused in that place. Awful.

A club in Luzern, Switzerland on a rooftop full of creepy married men and £15 for a gin and tonic 17 years ago. It was called Penthouse i think.

*the place, not her place

@catinboots yes lots of black, to show the neon to full effect I guess. And weren't there old motorbikes around? Could be making that up. I did have some cracking nights in there once I let myself go and surrendered to the naffness.

A clubbing thread would be good although I didn't do it every week, but have fond memories of places like Bagleys and Turnmills and the like. Ah, it was all so long ago ...

Oh I'm so happy to see Klute mentioned! I worked there as a student (and STILL went there on nights out??) and my happiest moment as VIP room (dank basement for rahs drinking champagne and smoking cigars against the anti smoking laws) bar staff was watching one particularly chinless wonder drain a fishbowl of 'cocktail' which then slipped over his head. The owner was livid, charged the offender £50 for a new fishbowl which his chums subsequently removed by gripping the rim around his jaw and trying to stretch the glass wider, shattering it in the process but leaving the previous occupant entirely uninjured. Happier times.

Ahhh i knew Klute would be on here!
I spent half my teenage years and in between uni years there!

Loved it!

@Orlandointhewilderness

Tubes in Melton Mowbray circa 2000. Just grim! Scary how many formative experiences I had in that club!

It was bad enough in the 1980s! It's still there, last time I looked.

God, I remember the Black Orchid in Nottingham, dire in the 1980s. I only went a few times with friends, after that I much preferred Rock City.

Heaven and Hell, Leeds, 2001. What an absolute shithole. Pop and dance in Heaven, then on the middle floor there was Purgatory, then down in Hell there was like sort of trance music. Despite it being a shithole we ended up there most weeks on a Thursday night and would roll into sixth form the next day stinking of booze and hungover.

There was a heaven and hell on Blackpool too.

Twas equally shit.

CMOTDibbler I loved Metros. Never went to Bogiez, much to my regret in the 90s.

The worst clubs were the Loop, Astoria and Coco Savannah/Zeus!

I think the worst of them all has to be the Loop though.

Or possibly the Philharmonic down by the Brains Brewery. I remember someone getting shot in there.