Do you and your family have your own names for shops and cafes?

[Davespecifico]

It would be funny if you had done the same as ours. We have:
Kitty Shop = H & M
Yoghurt Cafe = Pret a Manger
Jan Loos = John Lewis (in honour of MIL's Smethwick accent).
Blue Cafe = Cafe Nero
Toy Tax = Build a Bear

Not the same but my mum always says PrimarT

Home Bargains - Herman's Bargains

Not exactly, but Dh refers to the local corner shops (most of which are co-ops by us) by their old names from when he was growing up (so Stars, circle k etc), as do most of our friends. However, I didn’t grow up in this town, so it’s a bit of a Parallel universe where everything is known by a different name. Same also with pubs, certain estates etc.

My mum calls Dunnes (Fairly cheap Irish clothes and food retailer) Doon-ez Boutique

Costa Lotta
StarMegaBucks

Matt Allen's = Matalan
Primani = Primark

Sainsbugs

Morribobbles ~ Morrisons

Primarny ~ Primark

Yes! M&S cafe is The Brown Cafe, and John Lewis is 'Jean Loui' said in a French accent

Penny, I have a norn Irish friend who says dunez boutique too, must be a thing.

Sainsbo
Teskies
Morr-eye-zons

Yonks ago I had a friend who worked in a place called Just a Bite. She always called it Just a Shit. Made me laugh.

Dreggs.

They're popping up everywhere...obvs Greggs.

Marks and Spencers is Marks Expensive as that's what DS (then 3) thought it was called.

Supermarkets are all known by their colours in our house, a relic from when I used to rotate which one I went to each week when DS was tiny, just for a change of scenery. DS very much preferred the green one (ASDA, probably because of the tat on offer in the cafe) and the yellow one (Morrisons, because of their extensive toy aisle), but had an irrational hatred of the orange one (Sainsburys, Mummy's favourite)

Morriways. The old safeways near us became a Morrisons.

My son misheard Druckers and thought it was ‘Truckers’ - a transport caff specialising in afternoon tea. We pass by an Edinburgh Wooden Mills too.

After DS mispronounced Holland and Barrett as Hol-Land and Bar-rette, emphasising the second syllable, I can't say it any other way.

Marks & Spensive. Similar to yours notthecar

Throwing yet another name for Morrisons into the mix, DP and I call it Bongos, short for Morribongos.

I have no idea why.

We usually also call the Co-op 'the unco-operative', which is probably obvious to anyone who shops in the same ones we do, who are very good at putting one staff member on the tills trying to deal with a queue that goes halfway round the shop, while 3 other hide in the back pretending to sort out the stock room.

Costa-lotta Coffee.

Snots = Tesco!

Ds1 calls paperchase papercut. It’s stuck with me and I have to remind myself of its real name!

We call Sport Direct "The Dunno Shop". Every time you go in and ask have you got this, they always reply that they "Dunno".

I'm in the US and we refer to Whole Foods Market as "Whole Paycheck".

DS used to call Woolworths "Walrus" when he was a little boy