Do you and your family have your own names for shops and cafes?

[Davespecifico]

It would be funny if you had done the same as ours. We have:
Kitty Shop = H & M
Yoghurt Cafe = Pret a Manger
Jan Loos = John Lewis (in honour of MIL's Smethwick accent).
Blue Cafe = Cafe Nero
Toy Tax = Build a Bear

We usually also call the Co-op 'the unco-operative', which is probably obvious to anyone who shops in the same ones we do, who are very good at putting one staff member on the tills trying to deal with a queue that goes halfway round the shop, while 3 other hide in the back pretending to sort out the stock room. That's uncanny Barbara You must shop in our Borders Coop

That too could have perfectly described our Co-oP. A bigger bunch of lazy, helpful and downright miserable staff I’m yet to come across. Things have only slightly improved since they’ve sold it to another chain.

B&M Bargains is Bums
DD (5) tells me off for this

Asda Beirut = Asda Bedminster (Bristol) because it is rough (once saw a knife drawn in a squabble, the methodone queue outside is also a notable attraction)

Debenhams = Debinggams
Superdrug = superjunkie
M&S = Marks expensive
Sainsburys = sainsburgs
Zara = zorbas

Oh Tk maxx= tinky tacks

Chavile Row -Sports Direct.

Clothes from Asda - if anyone compliments me or asks where I got them, I say they are by Georgio Asdarni