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Original poster

Uncomfortable realisations about yourself

591 replies

Casperandme · 18/10/2018 08:57

I've had a couple of these recently, things I've realised about myself that are uncomfortable but at the same time things I wish I'd realised many years earlier.

In particular:

  • there are all of these altruistic things I think I want to do one day but it's all bullshit, I don't actually want to, I just fancy myself the sort of person that would want to if that makes sense.
  • I'm a gossip and I need to stop.

What are yours?

OP posts:
GrouchyKiwi · 18/10/2018 10:32

I have recently realised that I sometimes use my health condition as an excuse to be lazy or not do something I don't want to do. When I feel like it, I play up the symptoms to get out of things. Sad

I have a tendency to be a bit controlling and have to work hard not to be this way with my husband.

moonlight1705 · 18/10/2018 10:34

I have an inner bitch voice that won't shut up and because I can think of witty one-liners quite quickly, sometimes my humour has a sharp edge to it and can hurt people.

I am quick to anger (but also quick to calm down). I have no patience with idiots and will probably tell them they are wrong bluntly.

I have obsessions with things for example, I've just looked at my bank statements and I've spent over £400 in a year on game add ons, for a game that has no point and is just there to procrastinate from doing the real work. I've deleted the game and tried to delete all payment methods off my phone but googleplay lets me pay via the phone bill so have lied to DH about extra data being used as the reason for the high bill this month.

Loonoon · 18/10/2018 10:34

I love bombed people to get them to like me. Once they were my friend I would ditch them as soon as someone new and therefore ‘better’ comes along. Luckily I realised this before other people did and I now concentrate on my existing friends.

I can be very passive aggressive whilst pretending to be laidback.

I am incredibly grabby - while presenting a front of generosity so people will like me, but inside I am counting and begrudging every perceived inequality.

Oh dear, perhaps I need more therapy.

MaMisled · 18/10/2018 10:36

A colleague got annoyed with me recently and told me I'm the most ridiculously over sensitive person she ever met. I realised she's right, I am!

tamzinro · 18/10/2018 10:44

My uncomfortable realizations are : my life has been a living hell from childhood and this means that now my life is not how I want it to or wanted it to be .
I have no friends from childhood
Majority of My family are cold-hearted people
I have a fiery temper that I need to get a grip on
I look like shit -don't take care of my appearance
I am genuinely very nice towards other people but get treated like shit by a lot In return .
These realizations are only an issue when I think about them or compare myself to others , otherwise I just get on with my life and concentrate on the day today not yesterday and put my energy into my children and not myself .

FunSponges · 18/10/2018 10:45

I'm judgemental and genuinely think I am better than some people.

I get jealous of others who have everything so easy or have something I'd love.

I will use my chronic illness to get out of doing stuff, although it's a catch 22 actually because if I'm dreading something socially (also autistic) I can 'make' myself feel exhausted then I have my 'I'm too tired to make it' so really I wouldn't say I'm using my illness, more I can make myself feel ill through negative thoughts (if only it worked the other way around though!).

I want an affair Blush.

Bluesmartiesarebest · 18/10/2018 10:45

Grouchykiwi, I do the same! I quite enjoy saying I’m too tired to do things when I could push myself a bit more. Personally, I think it’s fine to be a bit selfish when you are ill because people tend to assume that you are making excuses whatever you do.

I’ve recently got out of a family event that I really didn’t want to go to. After travelling etc it would have left me exhausted for a week. My family are not happy but I’m so glad I’ve said no!

LaurieFairyCake · 18/10/2018 10:49

I very rarely do things I don't want to do. Applies to everything, it's a real blessing as I've got older.

Dh and I give each other 'one commitment' a year the other has to do - obviously this is mostly visiting or hosting family. It's acknowledged the other doesn't want to.

I'm incredibly easily pleased. I like a cup of nice tea and a book over pretty much everything else. When Dh buys me a little gift - flowers, a nice bar of chocolate I'm really touched.

Original poster
Casperandme · 18/10/2018 10:53

laurie I’m envious of that!

OP posts:
Original poster
Casperandme · 18/10/2018 10:54

I think I’m meaner than other people realise. Or maybe I’m just grumpy.

OP posts:
tamzinro · 18/10/2018 10:55

@averageisgood your connect actually made me upset ,my children bore me too but I pretend to be interested and really pretending sometimes turns into reality because our brain gets tricked and then readjusts . Cuddle your children , kiss them , tell them how special they are whilst looking in their eyes . There is nothing more special than your children that you created and are still helping to create and they can make an otherwise unhappy existence be full of joy by just focusing on them instead of yourself .

averageisgood · 18/10/2018 10:57

Really Tamzinro, don't you think I do all those things anyway. How condescending and judgey of you.

Original poster
Casperandme · 18/10/2018 10:59

tamzino I don’t think it’s uncommon to - on occasion- feel bored while parenting.

OP posts:
EyeRolls · 18/10/2018 11:01

I'm not a morning person and it kills me to have to tend to the wee 'uns first thing. 12 years into parenting and I still hate it.

I like things my way. I'm stubborn and will always find reasons to try and make it so...

I get easily annoyed by pettiness and as I've got older, I find it harder to disguise.

My family wind me up and I'm not very forgiving of their 'quirks' I just find excuses to stay away. Naughty really.

I have too high expectations and am still not able to see when I'm pushing it too hard for myself and others.

Cailleach · 18/10/2018 11:01

I'm just generally awful and unpleasant. I do try hard though.

GrouchyKiwi · 18/10/2018 11:01

averageisgood I always thought I'd be the kind of mother who loves reading to her children but I hate it so much! I can handle short books but anything longer than about 12 pages is a real chore. I leave DH to do most of the reading. Sometimes I find it hard that my actual mothering is so different from how I imagined it would be.

tamzinro · 18/10/2018 11:06

@Casperandme of course!but our following actions need to say otherwise to our children . We wouldn't want our children to think that we are constantly bored of their talking or bored of spending quality time with the would we ?

midsomermurderess · 18/10/2018 11:12

I too am very lazy. I am very emotionally shut down and hardly consider even attempting to make connections with people. I am far too negative.

NorthEndGal · 18/10/2018 11:13

I talk too much, and dominate groups too much.
I come across as bold but my feelings are hurt easily (but I don't show it)
I have ridiculously high standards for everyone in my life, which is hard on them
I am too quick to anger

Theknacktoflying · 18/10/2018 11:15
  • I am terminally lazy ...
-
QuantumWeatherButterfly · 18/10/2018 11:18

I brood - I should be open about what is upsetting me or making me angry, but I struggle to do so constructively so I just keep quiet. But it is obvious to the people in my life that I'm doing it and it causes friction, so really it is counter-productive. And yet, I can't stop.

The reason I can't lose weight is because I just can't commit to it. It's totally my fault.

When If I go on Strictly Come Dancing, I would be partnered with Anton.

ShotsFired · 18/10/2018 11:18

Casperandme Shots someone close to me does this too! The tests. I wonder if they are as self aware as you are?

When I started the relationship I was acutely aware because I couldn't quite believe it was real so I had to 'make sure' he wasn't going to bugger off (and he didn't).

But then I didn't try and stop it. In fact I probably let it get worse and worse and I was more or less indulged in it for various reasons (some my fault some his). But even though I was aware of it and hated myself for being like that, I simply didn't know how to control it. Vicious circle.

ShotsFired · 18/10/2018 11:21

whycantyouusethephone I'm controlling. And selfish.and manipulative. If my dh were to come on here he'd be told to ltb. I try not to be these things and have some good qualities (I'm very generous, I'm socialable, optimistic, caring, and kind) but the fact is I need to know where dh is,what he's doing, I often say I feel unwell to get him to "spoil" me- just because I like being spoilt. It's not nice. I sulk when I'm unhappy, which again, I know is terrible but can't seem to stop doing it.

I could also have written a lot of this as well. Add in passive aggressive and a bit conniving at times too.

LadyBaneGrey · 18/10/2018 11:26

i find it so hard to tell people things or my feelings so they build up into really big issues but could have been resolved easily or quickly if I’d said something sooner.

NannyMcfanny · 18/10/2018 11:37

I am abrasive, hyperactive, shit with money and I like my own company way too much. Everyone else (apart from immediate family and best friends) can fuck off as far as I'm concerned.
I'm icy cold, insincere and pretend I haven't seen people so I don't have to stop and talk to them.
 how awful.

I am more aware though so at least try to relax my "resting bitch face"!