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Uncomfortable realisations about yourself

591 replies

Casperandme · 18/10/2018 08:57

I've had a couple of these recently, things I've realised about myself that are uncomfortable but at the same time things I wish I'd realised many years earlier.

In particular:

  • there are all of these altruistic things I think I want to do one day but it's all bullshit, I don't actually want to, I just fancy myself the sort of person that would want to if that makes sense.
  • I'm a gossip and I need to stop.

What are yours?

OP posts:
Sarcelle · 22/10/2018 07:52

This thread makes me afraid to go out in public. We are all harbouring dark thoughts and being judgemental!

I hate people who talk too much, they are generally women. Middle aged ones. I am a middle aged woman myself but I sit in judgement of other women the same age. Sometimes I cringe when they go on and in like a tsunami of noise.

I also judge overweight people. All the colleagues I work with who have weight issues are women. I judge them for carrying lots of tuppaware containers of food and dressings into work - they are obsessed. Eat a sandwich ffs, not every meal has to be an event.

I sneer at women who flirt, they demean themselves. Most men (all of them actually) are not worth the effort.

I find a lot of people shallow. You can talk to them about celebs or Strictly, but anything deeper than that causes mild panic.

I despise patronising men. I get great pleasure in seeing them brought down a peg or two.

I can be a gossip. I have massively changed this in the last few years, but the potential is there.

I think most people are monochrome, dull.

I can be very lazy. Prevailing theme of my life.

I do have redeeming features, but fr another thread.

Leapfrog44 · 22/10/2018 08:39

Hate to admit I'm wrong and hate to apologise for my behaviour. I also have a terrible temper and when triggered can flip out, yelling and terrifying everyone in the vicinity.

BitchQueen90 · 22/10/2018 08:42

I'm envious of wealthy people. I'm not poor but I wish I had more money. But I can't be arsed to retrain into a better paid job so unless I win the lottery it's not gonna happen.

greenberet · 22/10/2018 09:28

Still watching this thread despite some giving me a slating for my earlier posts. As I said I’ve done my raw and honest many a time on MN I’m glad to see there has been a few instances of seeing things from the other side. So much depression and anxiety out there these days -in a time when MH has supposedly lost its stigma - we all keep our struggles hidden - it’s really not surprising seeing some of the comments on here -maybe we need to stop judging ourselves and others so harshly - a little understanding and kindness can go a long way!

oohyoudevilyou · 22/10/2018 09:41

I don't like my stepchild even though I have tried and tried for nearly 20 years. I always treat them kindly, talk about them with affection and give them the same consideration as my own DC in any decisions and plans we make. But to my shame I don't like them, let alone love them. Sad

ICESTAR · 22/10/2018 09:56

Sorry ladybird. I didn't mean to make you feel like that. My post was actually at someone I read way earlier in the thread. I should have been clear. It doesn't sound like you hate at all. I do understand. I uudge myself very harshly. But I eas bullied as a child and when I see comments like the I hate fat people (earlier in the thread) it just feeds into my self hating that I already have deeply ingrained in me that I've worked so hard in counselling to undo. But this thread is good. It's good to be honest. Maybe it will give me the kick up the arse that I need to give it a proper go to lose weight again. I lost 5 and a half stone when I was younger. Kept it all off. Then I stopped smoking and bam. Loads and loads of weight back on. I've been yoyo dieting ever since. Yes I do need a kick up the arse. Thank you!!

Thankyou so much shitland.

Flowers for you all. Flowers

ICESTAR · 22/10/2018 09:57

Was judge sorry typos.

ladybirdsaredotty · 22/10/2018 10:12

ICESTAR oh I see...please don't apologise to me though, I'm unimpressed with myself for my views on this. Also, the thought of someone feeling like you do is really sad and of course I would far rather someone was happy in themselves, no matter what their size. I do hope you find some peace, you sound lovely.

JuliaJaynes9 · 22/10/2018 10:47

don't like my stepchild even though I have tried and tried for nearly 20 years. I always treat them kindly, talk about them with affection and give them the same consideration as my own DC in any decisions and plans we make. But to my shame I don't like them, let alone love them. sad
I think you have much to be proud of!
You do the right thing and make every effort for this child despite your feelings, that is much harder and more noble than just going along with your feelings without reflecting on what is the right thing to do.
(I'm sorry everyone I know that's not in the spirit of the thread🤭)

oohyoudevilyou · 22/10/2018 10:59

@JuliaJaynes9
Thank you for those kind words Halo. Stepchild was born when DH was only 16, and, to his credit, he fully shouldered that responsibility despite his age and not being in a relationship with the mother. Stepchild hasn't had an easy life and as an adult has made poor decisions resulting in a criminal record along with all the complications that brings. I wish I could love them, rather than merely caring about their wellbeing, but sadly that evades me.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 22/10/2018 11:05

Think you and I are kindred spirits @Sarcelle

All i would add about myself if that I have an inordinate amount of anger within me - real lava that I’m trying my best to temper as I swear it’s messing with my life more than I’m realising or would like it too.

MawkishTwaddle · 22/10/2018 11:06

Sarcelle if it's any consolation, I think I'd like you a lot.

Doghorsechicken · 22/10/2018 12:01

I’m very judgmental & lack empathy for most adults. (But I adore animals & children)
I’m incredibly lazy

Rattymare · 22/10/2018 13:48

This thread is so eye opening - I can relate to so much of this.
I thought it was just me that felt this way. It's great to know I'm not alone and that it really is ok to feel this way.

Wellshit · 22/10/2018 15:06

I'm terrible at telling people problems I have. Either with them or with something else.
I hate that I can't just get annoyed or frustrated and not cry, pisses me off.
I think I still have some depression but won't admit it.
I'm not a very good people person. I often laugh at the expense of others.
I'm very good at putting a mask on and getting on with things but I don't tell people that I actually need a break from things. I just get more and more annoyed and explode when I can't cope anymore.
I like being by myself. 😁

Teacher22 · 22/10/2018 16:35

Vagndidit, don’t worry, boys take ages to get going. He will be fine later. Sometimes boys waste the whole of their school lives messing about and then pull it out of the bag when they are older. My son was a complete twerp for 13 school years and he’s doing well now. I know three other boys who started at floor sweeping level in jobs and they are all rich, one even has a Porsche.

Elementtree · 22/10/2018 17:01

I'm too hard really - I come across cold and heartless at times - not with the kids though, thank fuck. I know how I came to be this way but that alone doesn't make me a soft/ fluffy/emotional/ available.

Teacher22 · 22/10/2018 18:00

I vote Conservative and voted Brexit. Since more than half the country voted likewise which is why they won I am also annoyed that no one will ever admit to being anything other than a lovely, caring, greenie leftie. This thread alone shows that hypocrisy is the default mode for living in the UK.

There.

GrouchyKiwi · 22/10/2018 18:07

To be fair, half the people who voted did the same as you. Loads of people couldn't be bothered voting and are probably the ones complaining the most.

TheBigFatMermaid · 22/10/2018 18:16

I am lazy.

I hold a grudge forever, I am not willing to forgive or forget.

Hoosey · 22/10/2018 18:20

I am really needy- my self-esteem is way too influenced by how I think other people see me.

I cannot cope with stress at all.

I have a crippling fear of death (not mine, but the loss of people I love)

Mississippilessly · 22/10/2018 18:35

I dont keep contact with family and I have been a poor friend to people

I am hugely judgemental

I compare constantly

I am materialistic

PrimeraVez · 22/10/2018 18:47

-I think I’m more intelligent than 95% of the population
-I secretly judge people who make different life choices to me (eg women who choose to be SAHMs)
-I can be a bit of a hermit but also feel insulted when I don’t get invited to things
-I like knowing that people are envious/jealous of me or about aspects of my life
-I get jealous when people announce pregnancies even though I have two gorgeous kids and am not even sure I want a third

LethalWhite · 22/10/2018 18:54

primeravez - are you me?!?

ICESTAR · 22/10/2018 19:25

Teacher22 I'm a leftie and I voted for brexit. Grin My reason was about money and the economy. But it's like if you're a brexit voter, you're some kind of racist and thick. I hate it. I am not and never will be racist. I really dislike Corbyn though I still vote for labour.

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